Rules For Men | Where Do Yours Come From?
Real Men Feel exists to remind you that men are human beings entitled to feel and express the full range of emotions. I look forward to the day when a man can cry in public, and people notice and say to themselves, "Now, that's a man." Not sarcastically, not ironically, but because they recognize that publicly expressing emotions could be the bravest, most courageous thing a man can do.
Recently I got an email and the title was The Laws for Manhood. I rolled my eyes and marked it to follow. Anytime someone makes a list of any rules, laws, or vows that all men must follow in order to be men... I want to puke. I had the time to go back and read that article earlier today.
There are rules and laws that society teaches us that are meant to create a better community. Some rules are passed down from parents and schools intended to make us behave and be quiet. There are unconscious rules often tied to our gender and social roles; Those sorts of things we pick up as kids that our parents model in their actions or words.
Any unconscious rule can get you into trouble. Since it is unconscious, you don't realize you are abiding by it and don't realize where it came from to begin with.
The oldest rules I could think of our the 10 Commandments. I don't know anybody who's never broken some of those.
Back to the original email, I got. It linked to an article called What Are Your 10 Laws of Manhood? That's a little better than the email - at least it's "your laws" not saying this is a must for all mankind.
That all reminded me of some rules I do agree with.
Friend and frequent guest of this show, Jed Diamond, wrote a book called 12 Rules of Good Men.
- Rule #1: Join a Men's Group.
- Rule #2: Break Free From the Man Box.
- Rule #3: Accept the Gift of Maleness.
- Rule #4: Embrace Your Billion Year Male History.
- Rule #5: Recognize Your Anger and Fear of Women.
- Rule #6: Learn the Secrets of Real, Lasting, Love.
- Rule #7: Undergo Meaningful Rites of Passage.
- Rule #8: Celebrate Your True Warrior Spirit and Learn Why Male Duel and Females Duet.
- Rule #9: Understand and Heal Your Adverse Childhood Experiences.
- Rule #10: Heal Your Father Wound and Become the Father You Were Meant to Be.
- Rule #11: Treat the Irritable Male Syndrome and Male-Type Depression.
- Rule #12: Find Your Mission in Life and Do Your Part to Save Humanity.
I believe the best rules to live by are ones you've proven from your own experience. They can undoubtedly originate from someone else, but if any rule, law, guideline, or vow about being a man doesn't bring more joy to your life - I strongly suggest questioning it.
If you have a rule to live by that you think works great, share it. Wherever you are listening to this, post a comment or email me at realmenfeel@gmail.com.
Links
See what other guys think
https://www.quora.com/What-are-your-10-laws-of-manhood
Jed Diamond's The 12 Rules for Good Men
https://amzn.to/3BgofS4
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