My wife and I recently returned home for a two week trip to the Middle East, spending one week in Israel and the next week in Jordan. The rock-carved city of Petra was the main reason behind the trip. But both countries had a lot to offer and warrant repeat visits.
We had a fantastic time full of ancient sites, sacred places, and friendly people. I learned a lot about the religion and politics of the area and found I had many misconceptions about the Middle East from growing up in the US. My time in Israel was probably the most intellectually and politically challenging trip I’ve taken. We talked with Arabs, Jews, Christians, Muslims, Palestinians, Isralies, and Jordanians.
Toward the final days, I noticed moments of sadness that things were winding down. The sadness was mixed with a feeling that two weeks was long enough and I was ready to return home. I recalled years earlier when it was normal for me to feel depressed with days remaining of a vacation because I so dreaded my return to daily life.
Some people like vacations of sitting on the beach and doing nothing. I prefer active holidays where I do things I don’t usually do, especially when I worked as a cube dweller for corporate America.
When I tried to just lay on the beach in the past, my thoughts would turn negative. I’d focus on all the things I didn’t like instead of relaxing. Then I’d drink to remove those thoughts. That worked in the short term, but if I just wanted to drink, I could do that at home much cheaper, so I quickly stopped those sort of trips too.
I’ve visited such places as Machu Pichu, Stonehenge, and Easter Island. I’ve been white water rafting, rappelling, and hiking in Europe, South America, and Africa. A staycation can be nice, but my favorite vacations are ones when I need another vacation to recover from them.
Floating in the Dead Sea
Even today, I can recall being in the jungles of Belize in 2005, but feeling very down because the following Monday I’d be back at work. It was a time that I thought I hated my job, and sometimes my life. Yet, a few days prior, I was enjoying myself and life.
These realizations helped me learn the power of being present. When fully present, I felt better. I wondered why was it that I was time traveling in my thinking.
Why was I ignoring the fantastic experiences I was having to jump forward to my return to the mundane?
I decided that since I could be full of energy and joy on a vacation when I was present and focused on what I was doing, that I would do my best to live like I was on vacation. All the time.
I did pretty well at that for a long time. Treating each day like it was new. Looking for things that were unusual, special, and fun. If those weren’t apparent, I find a way to bring those elements to what I was doing.
The Western Wall, or Wailing Wall, in the Old City of Jerusalem.
So as I noticed some sadness as this trip was winding down, I explored what exactly I was feeling sad about. I was going to miss the people. We were a group of 13 in Israel and then 16 in Jordan. I liked my instant family of global citizens traveling, sharing, dining together for long days full of once in a lifetime experiences.
Back home, I often work in isolation. I sometimes forget to admit to myself that I actually like people. I was going to miss having a guide take me to amazing new places every day. I was going to miss having every day planned by someone else when I just needed to show up and be marveled. I would miss walking into restaurants and recognizing a dozen faces. There was no responsibility or stress. Just being present and amazed.
Realizing that I was sad over what was ending as opposed to what I was returning to, made me smile.
This week, Andy Grant is joined by entrepreneur, mindset coach, and podcaster, Tony Grebmeier, to discuss his path to clarity and the importance of community. Tony’s mission is to create a community where entrepreneurs know they can achieve anything they want despite their past.
“Community is the most important thing and we don’t talk about it.” ~Tony Grebmeier
Tony shares his lowest point, the knock that changed his life, and his journey to a new way of thinking. Thinking that includes gratitude, open-mindedness, being teachable, and has the goal of happiness.
The journey to self-fulfillment was not easy for Tony. He almost lost it all in 2008 after years of struggling with drug and alcohol addiction. Facing the near destruction of his marriage and the sad realization that he was negatively affecting his children’s lives, Tony made the decision that year to get sober, and he has stayed sober ever since. As he got clean, he also became clear about his vision to help others find their passion and achieve more.
A Real Men Feel panel has been formed to discuss the Gillette campaign that seems to have the Internet in an uproar. Much appreciation to Al Flemming, Ameé Quiriconi, Anthony Simeone, Boysen Hodgson, Brandon Boucher, Brian Cardoza, Kenny Earl, and Tony Crisostomo for being a part of this show.
“The ad asks, Is this the best a man can get? How does asking questions come off as lecturing or offensive?” ~Andy Grant
I don’t understand how being called to be better is a lecture. How being asked to call out other men when they are engaging in bullying, sexist, or racist behavior. I didn’t see a lecture, I saw an invitation to tell people when they are going too far instead of keeping it to ourselves. I think that is a good thing.
I sounded the Real Men Feel horn, so I could listen to what others have to say. Online comments have their place, but they don’t make for a quality discussion.
Topics Covered Include:
What was your first reaction to the Gillette ad?
What is Gillette’s goal with this?
Traditional and toxic masculinity
What does “boys will be boys” mean to you?
The role of mothers
Do we want to focus on masculinity or humanity?
Is this part of the pussification of men?
Thanks to Gillette for sparking needed conversations
A Real Men Feel panel has been formed to discuss the Gillette campaign that seems to have the Internet in an uproar. Much appreciation to Al Flemming, Ameé Quiriconi, Anthony Simeone, Boysen Hodgson, Brandon Boucher, Brian Cardoza, Kenny Earl, and Tony Crisostomo for being a part of this show.
“The ad asks, Is this the best a man can get? How does asking questions come off as lecturing or offensive?” ~Andy Grant
I don’t understand how being called to be better is a lecture. How being asked to call out other men when they are engaging in bullying, sexist, or racist behavior. I didn’t see a lecture, I saw an invitation to tell people when they are going too far instead of keeping it to ourselves. I think that is a good thing.
I sounded the Real Men Feel horn, so I could listen to what others have to say. Online comments have their place, but they don’t make for a quality discussion.
Topics Covered Include:
What was your first reaction to the Gillette ad?
What is Gillette’s goal with this?
Traditional and toxic masculinity
What does “boys will be boys” mean to you?
The role of mothers
Do we want to focus on masculinity or humanity?
Is this part of the pussification of men?
Thanks to Gillette for sparking needed conversations
This week Andy Grant is joined by fitness and lifestyle coach, Oliver Cowlishaw, who shares everything that rose up when he confronted his smartphone addiction. Andy discovered Oliver thanks to a video Oliver made about his effort to cut down on his smartphone use and all the underlying shame that he could no longer ignore.
“If I am emotional, if I am vulnerable, if I let my sensitive nature be on display, bad things will happen. The video was a test of that.” ~Oliver Cowlishaw
Everyone makes choices between authentically feeling whatever is going on for them, and not – by ignoring, stuffing, denying, blaming, attacking… there are countless ways to avoid our emotions. What they all come down to is some sort of a distraction. One of the most potent and addictive distractions we all carry around are smartphones.
What would you be doing if you weren’t looking at your phone? What would you see if you weren’t staring at a screen? What do you feel when you stop reaching for that smartphone?
Topics Covered Include:
What prompted you to want to cut down your smartphone use?
What did you notice when you curtailed your use?
Were those feelings always there?
What steps did you take to cut down your smartphone usage?
What is healthy, productive use vs. distraction?
Do you have a goal for smartphone use?
Does anything stand out as easier than expected in lessening your phone use?
Shame makes you more susceptible to smartphone addiction.
This week Andy Grant is joined by the host of the One Broken Mom podcast, Ameé Quiriconi. As a former wife, and always a mom, Ameé has concerns about the mental health of men, raising a son, dating, and more.
“When we pretend we are perfect, we miss tremendous opportunities to heal and repair.” ~ Ameé Quiriconi
We found that women face many of the same challenges men do, specifically; hiding behind masks, not being encouraged to express emotions, fear that they can’t keep up with expectations, and dealing with the judgment of others.
Topics Covered Include:
Tell me about your podcast, One Broken Mom
Why call it broken?
Did being with a man who wasn’t in touch with his emotions or trauma make things more difficult?
Stigmas and expectations around motherhood
A violation of a primal trust can shut us down
What are some of the best ways you feel repaired?
What is the biggest trauma most men experience?
Has raising a son changed your perspective on men?
Can you have the sort of conversations you have with your son with adult men?
“I’m introverted until I find people worth extroverting for.” ~Ameé Quiriconi
Connect with One Broken Mom hosted by Ameé Quiriconi on Facebook. Find Ameé on Instagram. Listen to One Broken Mom on your favorite podcast platform or visit www.ameequiriconi.com
This week Andy Grant is joined by warrior, Brandon Boucher, to share some of his experiences as a combat veteran, activist, and healer, while he’s created a life in alignment with who he truly is instead of what the world expected him to be.
“No good change ever comes out of anger. We need to transmute it.” ~ Brandon Boucher
Brandon openly shares experiences growing up, serving in the U.S. Navy in Afghanistan, seeing pure evil, overcoming PTSD, the Modern Mystery School, and being of service to others.
Topics Covered Include:
Expectations of obligation and duty.
Do expectations feel good, bad, indifferent?
Tell me about life when you weren’t living in alignment?
Expectations of alcoholism.
Serving in Afghanistan
Challenges hearing “Thank you for your service.”
Experience as an activist at Standing Rock in North Dakota.
What are some of the expectations of being an activist that you break?
How was your transition from Afghanistan to being active in causes that fulfill you?
This week Andy Grant is joined by coach, mentor, speaker, and U.S Marine Veteran, Buddy Carchide, to talk about how he’s encouraging people to “Buddy Up” to better deal with pain, mental health, and the struggles of life.
“We are all one people. We are all buddies in this world.” ~ Buddy Carchide
Buddy is a self-described, “Simple guy, fighting the good fight and enjoying the grind of everyday life. Helping people through affirmation, enthusiasm, motivation, and support.”
Serving overseas made Buddy realize how the other half of the world lived and made him grateful for all we have in the US, but also lead to problems with anxiety, depression, and PTSD once he was back home. Buddy shares his story and how he’s now working to spread more love and kindness in the world.
Topics Covered Include:
What does Buddy Your Buddy mean?
Have you always been everybody’s buddy?
Was there one experience that brought this shift?
Is there one encompassing message in what you do?
Replacing “Pay it Forward” with “Buddying Up.”
The boomerang theory.
Buddy’s post-service mental health challenges.
Being a “tough guy” AND asking for help.
Buddy’s three favorite tools for dealing with stress and anxiety.
Discerning which thoughts serve you and which ones don’t.
I appreciate you.
Where do you want to see this buddy your buddy movement go?
This week Andy Grant is joined by Ty Cutner, founder of the Well Dressed Academy, to discuss the social and psychological benefits of being a well-dressed man. He’ll share how changing his image, changed his life.
“’Cause every girl crazy ’bout a sharp dressed man” ~ZZ Top
If you don’t present the best, you can’t perform your best.
Five years ago, Ty Cutner was working a job he hated, approaching 30, wasting his nights on Xbox, was a new father with a 2-year-old son and then found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. He took an honest look in the mirror and asked: “how did I let myself get to this point?”
To begin changing his life, he changed his image – how he dressed.
Topics Covered Include:
Have you always been into fashion and well dressed?
Tell me about your old life?
What prompted you to change?
What’s your new life like?
What were the first things you noticed as you dressed better?
What is the Well Dressed Academy?
What has been the biggest surprise to you from dressing sharp?
What sort of transformations have your clients had?
What types of men are coming to you for help?
Can you be well dressed and not go broke?
Is there one simple thing that any man can do to look better?
