Real Men Feel: Ep. 338, Healing from Emotional Abuse: Breaking the Chains of Trauma with Patrick Doyle

Healing from Emotional Abuse: Breaking the Chains of Trauma Episode 338, January 31, 2025

Embracing Vulnerability and Healing with Patrick Doyle

Summary:
In this episode of Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant welcomes Patrick Doyle, a bestselling author and expert in emotional abuse recovery, addiction counseling, and spiritual leadership. Patrick shares his harrowing experiences growing up in an abusive household, his journey through addiction and recovery, and his insights on the importance of facing pain and creating safety for emotional expression. The conversation delves into childhood trauma, the impact of emotional abuse, and how men can reclaim their value and begin to heal.

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“The avoidance of pain is the beginning of all unhealthy behavior.” ~Patrick Doyle

Opening Up About Personal Experiences
In a candid exchange, Patrick shares his tumultuous upbringing in a destructive alcoholic family. Born to parents plagued by addiction and PTSD, he recounts the violence and chaos that shaped his early years. At ten years old, faced with his mother’s death and his father’s dangerous lifestyle, Patrick turned to marijuana as a coping mechanism. His journey towards healing would be equally unconventional, but it also highlights the potential for transformation amidst adversity.

Finding Safety and Facing Pain
A key theme in this episode is the importance of safety in the healing process. Patrick emphasizes, “The avoidance of pain is the beginning of all unhealthy behavior.” He shares how his upbringing taught him to read people for self-preservation, a skill he later used in his career, leading him to eventually help others. By learning to face and process his own pain, Patrick began the path toward healing and helping others do the same.

Overcoming the Lies We Tell Ourselves
Throughout their conversation, Andy and Patrick discuss how internalized messages and beliefs can stifle personal growth. Patrick reveals his struggle with the belief that he was “stupid,” a narrative instilled by his father. As he worked on his book, “Death of a Thousand Cuts,” he confronted these beliefs, demonstrating how confronting and rewriting these narratives are essential steps toward healing.

Creating a Safe Environment
One of the major points Patrick makes is about the necessity of creating a safe environment for honesty. Without a safe space, people may suppress their feelings to protect themselves from retaliation or judgment. For Patrick, care and safety are paramount in helping someone gain the courage to face the reality of their situation.

The Role of Documentation and Community
Patrick suggests using documentation as a tool for recognizing and clarifying one’s thoughts and experiences. He advocates recording quick notes – even if it’s just a voice memo – to track and reflect on revelations over time. He also stresses the value of community in supporting and sustaining personal growth, highlighting his own moderated online community as a safe space for women navigating emotional abuse.

Addressing Denial and Building Self-Worth
Perhaps one of the most profound exchanges is Patrick’s desire to eliminate denial from the world, advocating for honesty as a catalyst for healing. He believes that understanding one’s value is vital, noting that men especially struggle with feelings of inadequacy. Patrick’s hope is for everyone, particularly men, to recognize their inherent worth, which in turn benefits everyone around them.

Conclusion
Patrick Doyle’s insights serve as a crucial reminder that facing and embracing our vulnerabilities can pave the way to a healthier, more authentic life. By acknowledging our pain and creating safe spaces for truth, we open the door to healing and genuine connection. We encourage you to listen to the full episode and explore how Patrick’s experiences resonate with your own journey.

For more information about Patrick Doyle, visit PatrickDoyle.Life and to learn more about Andy Grant, visit TheAndyGrant.com. Be sure to check back for more discussions aimed at reminding all of us, especially men, that embracing our feelings is a vital part of being human.

For those ready to take the personal growth journey in 2025, I invite you to book a free clarity call with me at TheAndyGrant.com/talk.

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Join the Conversation
We invite you to join the Real Men Feel community in exploring these discussions. Engage with us by sharing, commenting, and participating in our private Facebook group at realmenfeel.org/group. Connect with Andy directly at realmenfeel@gmail.com.

Connect with Patrick
Patrick Doyle — https://www.patrickdoyle.life/
Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/patrickdoyle.life
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/patrickdoyle.life/
YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNn5kNXoeuPPZLhuNpWLXIA

Resources
Death of a Thousand Cuts: The Impact of Emotional Abuse, Patrick Doyle — https://amzn.to/4gnc5cE

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