Real Men Feel: Ep. 89, Exploring Father Wounds and Mother Wounds with Rick Belden

Exploring Father Wounds and Mother Wounds with Rick Belden Episode 89, April 10, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author, poet, artist, and coach, Rick Belden, to discuss men and difficult relationships with their fathers (Father Wound) or mothers (Mother Wound).

“It is an iterative process. The wound and the healing. Both are in layers.” ~Rick Belden

A Father Wound or Mother Wound may be thought of as injury to the psyche of a child resulting from significant dysfunction or disruption in relationship with a parent. In some cases, it is the result of a parent’s absence or unavailability due to death, illness, adoption, or other circumstances that dramatically separate the child from the parent. But more typically, a Father Wound or Mother Wound is a complex of injuries to the child’s psyche received over many years, often as a result of the parent acting, consciously or not, out of his or her own woundedness.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What first got you first with men’s work?
  • What do you mean by father wound and mother wound?
  • Is one more prevalent than the other?
  • How do these wounds impact men?
  • Do all men have these wounds?
  • How did you get involved with poetry?
  • Is there a particular process for healing such wounds?
  • Tips on mindfulness and journaling.
  • The benefits Rick has experienced from being part of men’s groups.
  • The great example of a Father Wound found in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade.
  • We realized after the show that Ordinary People is a great movie to see a Mother Wound.

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“There are not nearly enough groups for men. Our culture would be transformed if any man could easily walk into a men’s group.” ~Rick Belden

You know you’re making headway when you can see your parents as individuals, not just as your parents. They are separate individuals with flaws, goals, motivations… they are human.

So much of this work is grief work. The entry is often anger, but getting into the grief of your childhood is the deepest work.

Check out Rick’s first book of poetry: Iron Man Family Outing: Poems about Transition into a More Conscious Manhood

You can learn more about Rick’s Coaching for Men at RickBeldenCoaching.com

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Feel with Rick Belden

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 88, Masculine Emotional Intelligence is Not an Oxymoron with Owen Marcus

Masculine Emotional Intelligence is Not an Oxymoron with Owen Marcus Episode 88, April 3, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author, speaker, and coach, Owen Marcus, to talk about men and emotions, men’s groups, and other tools for men to build remarkable lives. Men are leaving behind the duality of being macho OR sensitive. It doesn’t have to be either/or.

“What holds us back from being Remarkable is how we matured as men.” ~Owen Marcus

Owen shares his experience with 20 years of men’s groups up to his current venture, EvryMan.co, which is out to engage more men with the power of brotherhood, authenticity, and vulnerability. There are a connection and relief that happens when a man discovers he is no more messed up than every other man.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What got you first involved with men’s work?
  • Why do so many men struggle emotionally?
  • What was your experience with the first meeting of your first men’s group?
  • What is masculine emotional intelligence?
  • What made you such a fan of Men’s Groups?
  • How men’s groups are saving lives.
  • What is the ultimate goal for EvryMan.co?
  • Owen’s TEDx Talk  –What 10,000 Years Of Progress Has Cost
  • Owen’s #1 tip for any man feel isolated and stuck.

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“As men we aren’t bad or broken… we never were taught what we needed to become the Remarkable Men – that we want to be.” ~Owen Marcus

Most men were never taught how to feel. They were told not to feel. They’ve become disconnected from their intuition and emotions. Unfortunately for many men, they won’t reach out until their pain is greater than their fear.

Grab Owen’s book: Grow Up: A Man’s Guide to Masculine Emotional Intelligence™ – the 9 Steps to releasing the Remarkable Man within You
#RealMenFeel

You can learn more about Owen at OwenMarcus.com
Look for a men’s group near you at EvryMan.co

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Real Men Feel with Owen Marcus

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 87, Moving to UnHidden from Hidden with Robert Kandell

Moving to UnHidden from Hidden with Robert Kandell Episode 87, March 27, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by coach, podcast host, and author, Robert Kandell, to talk about the gap in communication between men and women, the facades we wear, and how we can be less hidden in all of our relationships.

Robert shares a lot of knowledge and stories as he talks about his twenty-year journey to being an amazing person. Today, men don’t know who to be. Many are giving up instead of upping their game. And women are noticing.

“All genders co-created the current situation. Women are as reasonable for patriarchy as men.” ~Robert Kandell

The world is opening for women, but shrinking for men. Robert sees the Millennials as changing the dynamics of gender, dating, communication and more. It will take a generation before it settles down.

Topics Covered Include:

  • You’ve worked as a business coach and a life coach – how different is that?
  • What was your path into doing this sort of work?
  • The struggle of the nice guy.
  • Being numb and dumb for 28 years.
  • What makes it a tough time to be a man?
  • Are there role models for being a good man today?
  • What does the future of gender look like to you?
  • What is living “unHidden?”
  • Robert’s most unpopular opinion.
  • The power of 100% honesty in relationships.
  • What sort of topics do you cover in your Tuff Love podcast?
  • The notion of “hungry ghosts.”

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“Men are dumb and women are angry.” ~Robert Kandell

Some of the great books Robert mentioned:
No More Mr. Nice Guy
The General Theory of Love
Man, Interrupted
War Against Boys

His own unHidden: A Book For Men and those confused by them is expected to be released in November, 2018.

#RealMenFeel

You can learn more about Robert at RobertKandell.com

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Real Men Feel - Robert Kandell

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 86, Having a Positive Relationship with Your Ex-wife

Having a Positive Relationship with Your Ex-wife with Al DeLuise Episode 86, March 20, 2018

This week Andy Grant is visited by writer, Al DeLuise, for a hilarious conversation about choosing to create a positive experience following a divorce. People can get divorced without wanting to kill each other.

Al has been writing humorous essays, which are often about him and his ex-wife, Arlene, since 2012. His writing about her often bothers other people much more than it does her. In fact, Al runs every article by Arlene first, and she’ll even remind of things to include. Despite that, one reader compared him to Hitler.

“Take the opportunity to calm down… There is no reason to go through hell.” ~Al DeLuise

Al says he’s getting along better with his ex-wife than his parents did while they were married. Having a good divorce is possible for anyone. It takes a conscious decision.

Topics Covered Include:

  • A life of nothing but conflict and scotch.
  • How his blog with Huffington Post started.
  • Have you always written comedic pieces?
  • Ex-wife approves everything written about her.
  • I’m not making fun of her.
  • Has she ever said, No – you can’t write about that?
  • Is it possible to have a positive divorce?
  • What do your kids think about the articles?
  • Mingling with Clooney and Pacino.
  • Being huge in Norway.
  • What article has gotten the biggest response?
  • What was the most surprising reaction?
  • Watch Al discover how Zoom works.

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Some of the specific pieces mentioned on the show:
Driving Miss Crazy
The Day I Got Engaged the Universe Was Trying to Tell Me Something
What I Learned About My Ex-Wife After My Daughter’s College Graduation

#RealMenFeel

Check out Al on GoodMenProject.com

You can learn more about Al at ConflictAndScotch.com.

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Real Men Feel: Al DeLuise

Conflict & Scotch

Real Men Feel: Ep. 85, Men Going Their Own Way

Men Going Their Own Way Episode 85, March 13, 2018

This week Andy Grant is visited by writer and speaker, Anthony Simeone, to discuss the MGTOW movement, toxic masculinity, and the notion that women are evil.

“Guys, we need to stop blaming women for our problems.” ~Anthony Simeone

The first time we heard of MGTOW was in a piece Anthony wrote a few weeks ago that got a lot of comments, Watch Out for Men ‘Goating Their Own Way.’ Anthony Simeone has over two decades of experience in the practical application of literature, philosophy, psychology, and other disciplines. The culmination of his work is the Live the Hero concept, which he offers as a “life path” for use in overcoming obstacles. Live the Hero combines the wisdom found in the arts and humanities with the latest discoveries related to modern neuroscience.

Heroism is inherent to the human condition. Looking out for each other, cooperating is heroism. It comes out of self-preservation but adds altruism and empathy

Topics Covered Include:

  • What is the MGTOW movement?
  • Is masculinity toxic?
  • What is meant by the term “toxic-masculinity?”
  • Are women evil?
  • The dangers of scapegoating.
  • What drives our quest for certainty?
  • What got you into these explorations of masculinity?
  • What do you mean by The Heroic Man?
  • Why men are becoming killers.

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What IS toxic is the “programming” men are receiving, skewing their perceptions of the world towards cynicism, loneliness, and violence (both physical and mental). It’s time to turn the conversation around to what’s virtuous, honorable, and positive about men. ~Anthony Simeone

Explore How You Can Become a Non-Toxic Man.

#RealMenFeel

Check out Anthony on GoodMenProject.com

You can learn more about Anthony and his work at livethehero.com.

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Real Men Feel with Anthony Simeone

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 84, Raising the Level of Consciousness via Epic Conversations

Epic Conversations with Dr. Vibe Episode 84, March 6, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by Dr. Vibe, The Prime Minister of Pertinent Information, Connector, Producer and Host of the award-winning The Dr. Vibe Show™ to talk about men, deep conversations and changing the world for the better.

“Failure is not a person it is a moment.” ~Dr. Vibe

Dr. Vibe is a self-taught online whiz. With no formal training in coding or broadcasting, Dr. Vibe has become Canada’s Prince of Podcast. He dominates the Internet when it comes to hosting intelligent, entertaining conversations on race and gender.

Dr. Vibe has been the host and producer of his online show The Dr. Vibe Show™ for the last decade. He has done over 1000 interviews with people from all over the world. He has gotten into the minds of Black powerhouses such as: Canadian football great Michael “Pinball” Clemons, Canadian Senator Don Meredith, ESPN Radio’s Freddie Coleman, actress and producer Robin Givens and MSNBC & CNN Education Contributor, Dr. Steve Perry. His main mission is to peel back the layers of the mainstream media’s construct around Black males, to reveal the positivity that is often clouded.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Why did you start your podcast?
  • You are “demolishing the digital divide and raising the level of consciousness” – How are you doing that?
  • What are your favorite conversation subjects?
  • Have you always been a natural communicator?
  • Do black men and white men have different views on masculinity?
  • What are some great topics for future conversations?
  • What are some of the most consistent issues you are seeing across men?
  • What is the role of men today?
  • Tips on finding your purpose.
  • What should the role of men be?
  • How man and women deal with change.
  • Dr. Vibe issues a challenge to listeners.

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Dr. Vibes favorite thing to hear during one of his conversations is, “No ones ever asked me that before.”

See Andy’s appearance on The Dr. Vibe Show.

Dr. Vibe encourages everyone to listen more and judge less, and also to be of service in some way. He believes one big thing missing from most men’s lives is having another man that they can say anything to.

#RealMenFeel

Learn more about Dr. Vibe at TheDrVibeShow.com

Check out Dr. Vibe on GoodMenProject.com

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Real Men Feel with Dr. Vibe

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 79, Exploring The Men School

Exploring The Men School with Jan Darwin Hutchins Episode 79, February 6, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter discover the path to the creation of The Men School, a school dedicated to cultivating the divine masculine in all of us with Jan Darwin Hutchins.

“Why, after having been a lone wolf all my life, did I feel so alone?” ~Jan Darwin Hutchins

Jan was successful at a young age, living the dream as a TV sports anchor, yet he felt rather empty. In his 50s he realized he had made no real friends over his life. An experience witnessing the support a dying friend received from a men’s group made him realize he was not alone and that he could trust other men. He discovered there was an initiation he could do to become one of those men. Jan did it and confirmed that he was not alone, didn’t need to be alone and could trust men.

“The problem with life is there is no end to the problems.”

Topics Covered Include:

  • Jan’s background including TV news, politics, yoga and more.
  • What lead to the creation of The Men School?
  • The masks we all wear.
  • The need for and benefits of doing the inner work.
  • The power of men’s groups.
  • The current state of The Men’s School and plans for the future.
  • Do we ever graduate from Men School?
  • Jan shares some research on wolves in Yellowstone.
  • OKness and presence.
  • The MankindProject
  • How does a man find his truth?
  • Is life simple or hard?

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All three men answer the question: If there was one thing you could teach or make all men aware of, what would it be?

TheMenSchool
“We are a learning community cultivating the sacred deep masculine in us all.”
As social animals, we require a source of stabilization from outside ourselves. Our shared connections and, co-corrections, literally keep us sane.

TheMenSchool is here to:
—keep learning to model the divine masculine
—see you excel in your individual life

When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time.~Byron Katie

Check out Robert Johnson’s book, We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love
Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 78, Working Through Upset and Reactions

Working Through Upset and Reactions Episode 78, January 30, 2018

This week Andy Grant goes solo with a member of the RMF private Facebook group who was upset with him and wanted to leave the group.

True to the title of the show, we bring some internal upset out into the light.

Last month, in the private Real Men Feel group on Facebook, one of our men took offense with something that Andy shared there. It was a video from a group of guys called The Try Guys.

Andy says: I had shared a video from them before and it was well received. I admit I hesitated about this but obviously decided to post it. The first comment on the video in the group was – “This is disgusting. I’m leaving the group.”

I was horrified that something I shared had driven a man to leave. It was a man I don’t recall ever speaking up before which made me feel even worse. I wondered what to do, to leave it be, reach out to him… I noticed he hadn’t left yet so I asked via reply to his comment if he would be willing to come on RMF in 2018 to talk about this.

He agreed. So here we are.

Comments in group

 

Topics Covered Include:

  • What offended you about that video?
  • The positives and negatives of Facebook.
  • Stereotypes about masculinity.
  • Andy’s reaction to Steve saying he was leaving the group.
  • What drew you to the Real Men Feel group to begin with?
  • Had Steve ever listened to this show?
  • The courage it takes to speak up.
  • The coolest thing Steve’s learned from all the men’s groups he’s in.
  • The struggle of knowing what masculinity is.
  • Steve’s definition of masculinity.
  • Steve’s background and personal story.
  • The benefits of being in a men’s group.
  • What’s the least “manly” thing you do?

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Here is the video in that brought up the turmoil.

Steve shares a great deal about his journey and why he questioned his manhood and what makes someone a man.

“Those guys who have it all together, he’s so manly, he’s so cool… once you get to know them they’ve got just as many issues as you do. All men are created equal.” ~Steve

Being a man means you doubt being a man at some point.

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Feel ep. 78

Real Men Feel: Ep. 77, Celebrating Masculine Power

Celebrating Masculine Power Episode 77, January 23, 2018

At a time when masculinity seems under attack, it is important to remember that good men owning their power can be a fantastic positive force for everyone. This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by fulfillment coach and speaker, Sean-Patrick Maher, to discuss how men can embrace their power and create deeper connections with themselves and others.

A key to men owning their power is operating more from their heart and less from their head.

The conversation begins with Andy sharing that he blew off Sean-Patrick last year, but that he was impressed by Sean-Patrick’s reaction and was eager to get him on the show once Real Men Feel was flowing again. The interaction was a great example of men communication with openness and honesty.

“Being grounded, heart-centered, and connected to all parts of myself is the greatest gift I can give to the world.” ~Sean-Patrick Maher

Topics Covered Include:

  • Authenticity and integrity
  • The fear of showing up in our full “manness” today
  • The importance of operating from the heart over the head
  • Awareness
  • How to get into your heart
  • What Sean-Patrick was taught about being a man
  • What being an integrated man means
  • The Heart-Math Institute
  • Toxic masculinity and the fear that all expression of masculinity is labeled “toxic”
  • The power and problems of labels
  • The MankindProject

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Masculine energy is not only domination and patriarchy. That is a distorted aspect of masculine energy. An excellent discussion unfolded on labels, language, masculine/feminine, and mindset. Allowing ourselves and others to flow on a spectrum of labels can be liberating, but if we ever think we ARE the label, that brings trouble.

Being an integrated man, allowing full access to our femininity and seeing the strength of our masculinity as equally beautiful and powerful is the sweet spot.

“Let our hearts be the laison for everything entering and exiting our field.” ~Sean-Patrick Maher

Check out Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

#RealMenFeel

Learn more about Sean-Patrick at SeanPatrickMaher.com

More on this theme – You’ve Got a Goddess Inside You, Chuck!

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Follow your heart


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Real Men Feel: Ep. 76, Praising the President or Trumpeting Trump

Men Praising President Trump Episode 76, January 16, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter invited supporters of President Trump to join them for an hour of conversation and listening. It was challenging to find men willing to speak up and be seen; many feel under attack for their political views. We promised to ask questions and listen. Our goal was an open and honest conversation among men.

Great thanks and appreciation to our guests, Buddy Carchide of New Hampshire, and Tony Crisostomo of Arizona, for taking part in this experiment, as well as to all the men who considered being on the show. We hit a lot of different topics and could have continued talking for hours.

“Biggest problem is that there is NO discussion, just name calling. The art of conversation has been lost. We all want to make a better country.”

Questions Included:

  • When did you get on board with candidate Donald Trump?
  • Is building a wall along our southern border a priority to you?
  • What are you proudest or happiest with regarding the Trump administration in its first year?
  • What are you most disappointed in or by?
  • What are your thoughts on “Fake News?”
  • Regarding the investigations into Russian meddling in the election and possible collusion with the Trump campaign – do you think there is anything there?
  • What about the current controversy over Trump’s alleged “shithole” comments?
  • What do you feel is the biggest issue the President has yet to address?
  • What are you most looking forward to in the next year of this administration?
  • Do you think politics in general and the presidency, in particular, are changed forever?
  • Will we ever go back to a career politician, who acts “presidential”?

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Our guests have been Trump fans from the very start and saw him as someone who says what he’ll do and does what he says. Putting America first is not selfish or Naziism. They admire that President Trump doesn’t care what anyone thinks about him, and they are glad he’s on Twitter, talking directly to the people.

The guys don’t like being called racist, bigot, or homophobe. “I just have a different way to get to the same place. We all want to improve our country.”

“We have much love and much respect for all the country. Our differences make us great. We are all part of the American soul.”

Everyone involved wished for more understanding.

Our conversation was rambunctious and surprisingly laugh-filled. We can all get along.

#RealMenFeel

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Official Portrait of President Donald Trump
By Shealah Craighead – https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/10/31/white-house-releases-official-portraits-president-donald-j-trump-and, Public Domain, Link


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