Real Men Feel: Ep. 96, The Man Effect: Defining Masculinity with Timothy Wenger

The Man Effect: Defining Masculinity Episode 96, June 5, 2018

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant is joined by photographer, writer, and coach, Timothy Wenger, direct from Belgrade, Serbia to talk about his global quest to define masculinity, one person at a time.

I have often wondered what it means to be a man, but in 2014 I decided I couldn’t wait any longer. So I started this project.” ~Timothy Wenger

The Man Effect was started all because of this one question, “If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?” Every person interviewed, over 300 so far, has answered this question.

Topics Covered Include:

  • How did you end up in Serbia?
  • What prompted your desire to define masculinity?
  • What is The Man Effect project?
  • Where have you been?
  • How many men have you photographed?
  • Has there been a common theme in the answers?
  • Do you recall an answer that surprised you in any way?
  • Have answers changed based on where you are in the world?
  • What is your ideal goal for this project?
  • What was your life like before starting this quest?
  • Timothy’s favorite questions to ask.
  • Has your definition of masculinity changed as you’ve met more men?
  • What’s next for you?
  • How can people get involved?

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If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be?

Learn more at TheManEffect.com

Connect with Timothy on Facebook

The Man Effect on Facebook

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Real Men Feel with Timothy Wenger

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 95, Busting Out of The Man Box with Cameron Conaway

Busting Out of The Man Box with Cameron Conaway Episode 95, May 29, 2018

This week, journalist, poet, and speaker, Cameron Conaway, drops in for a discussion around modern masculinity, art, and his path from mixed martial arts to poetry. Cameron spent nearly a decade training to be a professional mixed martial artist, but while attending college at Penn State Altoona, he fell in love with poetry. To him, poetry was as much about mindful living and the radical pursuit of new perspectives as it was about writing.

Cameron’s sixth book, Man Box: Poems, is available now.

“Ultimate vulnerability. That’s manly.” ~Cameron Conaway

Cameron Conaway’s book “Man Box: Poems” is published by Lasting Impact Press, an imprint of Connection Victory Publishing Company, the sponsor of this episode of Real Men Feel.

Topics Covered Include:

  • How did an interest in mixed martial arts AND poetry unfold?
  • Being told to “man up.”
  • Have you always written poetry?
  • What is the “man box?”
  • How do we bust out?
  • The impact of a meditation about his father.
  • The perception of poetry and sexual orientation.
  • How he got into investigative journalism.
  • Does the Man Box exist in all the different countries and societies he’s visited?
  • Have you always been interested in topics related to masculinity?
  • What’s the response been to your poetry?
  • Can you describe your artistic process?
  • Changes that the 2016 election caused in the book.
  • Cameron also shares a few poems from his book.

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See Cameron Conaway Recite the Featured Poem from His Book ‘Man Box: Poems’

Man Box – Poems illuminates the seemingly insignificant patriarchal forces that manifest into a toxic masculinity capable of damaging lives and our planet.

Grab Cameron’s book Man Box: Poems

You can learn more about Cameron at CameronConaway.com

Explore all of Cameron’s books.

Cameron also teaches the #1 rated poetry class on Skillshare.com.

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Cameron Conaway’s book “Man Box: Poems” is published by Lasting Impact Press, an imprint of Connection Victory Publishing Company, the sponsor of this episode of Real Men Feel.


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Real Men Feel with Cameron Conaway

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 94, A Meeting of Minds on MGTOW

A Meeting of Minds on MGTOW Episode 94, May 15, 2018

This week writer and speaker, Anthony Simeone, returns to Real Men Feel to discuss the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) philosophy with a man who follows it. “Dan” emailed Real Men Feel after hearing Anthony’s prior appearance and requested the opportunity to counter much of what Anthony said about MGTOW, so here we are. Note: This conversation was recorded April 17, 2018

“Marriage is a bad joke. There are better ways to find happiness in life… our central focus is NOT a hatred of women.” ~Dan of MGTOW

The first time we heard of MGTOW was in a piece Anthony wrote earlier this year, Watch Out for Men ‘Goating Their Own Way’. Anthony confesses that he was trying to be provocative and poke at this ideology to garner a reaction. As was the case in the Real Men Feel conversation with MGTOW Universe, Dan was willing and able to step forward and share his experiences with MGTOW without needing to attack anyone.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Dan and Anthony both offer opening statements.
  • What is MGTOW really about?
  • What has the reaction been to Anthony’s posts and interviews?
  • Anthony’s biggest challenge with MGTOW.
  • Finding the middle ground for an open conversation.
  • Red Pill rage.
  • Love is a lie.
  • Is MGTOW saving men’s lives?
  • Is your view of MGTOW different than when you first encountered?

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“Because men are biased toward protecting women, women are biased towards protecting women, no one cares about protecting men.” ~Dan of MGTOW

Watch a video Dan recommends comparing falling in love to smoking crack.

See Andy’s wrap of his MGTOW interaction, Man or Mangina?

Check out Anthony’s writing on GoodMenProject.com

You can learn more about Anthony and his work at livethehero.com.

Explore more on MGTOW at mgtow.com

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RMF - MGTOW Debate

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 93, Highly Sensitive Men with Rick Belden

Highly Sensitive Men with Rick Belden Episode 93, May 8, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined once again by author, poet, artist, and coach, Rick Belden, to discuss defining masculinity and finding wholeness if you are a Highly Sensitive Man. Rich first wrote about being a highly sensitive man 4 1/2 years ago in a post that has been shared over 2,000 times.

“Sensitivity in men is not generally encouraged or valued in our society.” ~Rick Belden

Being a highly sensitive person (HSP) is not a weakness or disorder. It is based on a personality trait called sensory processing sensitivity (SPS). High sensitivity has pros and cons. It is not a defect, and 1 in 5 men are highly sensitive.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What do you mean by a highly sensitive man?
  • Are there low sensitivity men too?
  • Sensitive to what?
  • What are the pros of being an HSP?
  • How was it growing up as highly sensitive?
  • How do you embrace your sensitivity?
  • When did you know you were highly sensitive?
  • How does this relate to introverts and extroverts?
  • Do highly sensitive men try to alter there sensitivity?
  • The importance of boundaries.
  • Do you think it is easier or more difficult to grow up a sensitive man today?
  • What can be done about being a highly sensitive man?

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“You need to be strong to be a highly sensitive man in our culture.” ~Rick Belden

To learn more about yourself as a highly sensitive person, or the 1 in 5 people in your life who are highly sensitive, check out Dr. Aron’s book and the HSP Self-Test.

Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) Self-Test:

You can learn more about Rick’s Coaching for Men at RickBeldenCoaching.com

Check out Rick’s first appearance on Real Men Feel.

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Real Men Feel with Rick Belden

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 92, Is Life Simple or Hard?

Is Life Simple or Hard? Episode 92, May 1, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter engage in a lively discussion with Jan Darwin Hutchins, the founder of The Men School, on whether life is simple or hard, and what can be done to make the hard parts easier. Jan was on the show back in February talking about The Men School and divine masculinity. During that show, he stated something that didn’t sit well with Andy.

“The problem with life is there is no end to the problems.” ~Jan Darwin Hutchins

Jan was invited back to dig deeper into that idea because Andy saw it as a fatalistic and depressing worldview. The result was an upbeat, philosophical conversation with lots of practical advice. Life isn’t this or that; it is everything. Life is the grey area; the journey, not the destination.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Is life simple?
  • Is life hard?
  • Is it both?
  • Offsetting the suffering
  • Black and white thinking
  • Expectations and stories
  • Truth and authenticity
  • A very high-level spin on Buddhism
  • Jordan Peterson
  • Power of breath
  • Why Andy stopped trying to die
  • The constant state of change
  • Doing what you can do, want to do, and should do
  • What is one tip for a man struggling with life’s challenges?

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We live in a world of problems. How we deal with them is the key to how we feel about our lives.

Most of what we believe is not true. They are shared beliefs, or stories, serving as group distractions. They can keep us stuck or empower us.

“Joy by itself isn’t very much fun. There needs to be a Point B to add juice to life. Joy and happiness are a fortunate happening during a day or a life.” – Jan Darwin Hutchins

All three men give tips for men in the depths of life feeling like shit.

Check out Robert Johnson’s books:
We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love
He: Understanding Masculine Psychology
She: Understanding Feminine Psychology

Join The Men School on Facebook

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Real Men Feel with Jan Darwin Hutchins

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 89, Exploring Father Wounds and Mother Wounds with Rick Belden

Exploring Father Wounds and Mother Wounds with Rick Belden Episode 89, April 10, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author, poet, artist, and coach, Rick Belden, to discuss men and difficult relationships with their fathers (Father Wound) or mothers (Mother Wound).

“It is an iterative process. The wound and the healing. Both are in layers.” ~Rick Belden

A Father Wound or Mother Wound may be thought of as injury to the psyche of a child resulting from significant dysfunction or disruption in relationship with a parent. In some cases, it is the result of a parent’s absence or unavailability due to death, illness, adoption, or other circumstances that dramatically separate the child from the parent. But more typically, a Father Wound or Mother Wound is a complex of injuries to the child’s psyche received over many years, often as a result of the parent acting, consciously or not, out of his or her own woundedness.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What first got you first with men’s work?
  • What do you mean by father wound and mother wound?
  • Is one more prevalent than the other?
  • How do these wounds impact men?
  • Do all men have these wounds?
  • How did you get involved with poetry?
  • Is there a particular process for healing such wounds?
  • Tips on mindfulness and journaling.
  • The benefits Rick has experienced from being part of men’s groups.
  • The great example of a Father Wound found in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade.
  • We realized after the show that Ordinary People is a great movie to see a Mother Wound.

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“There are not nearly enough groups for men. Our culture would be transformed if any man could easily walk into a men’s group.” ~Rick Belden

You know you’re making headway when you can see your parents as individuals, not just as your parents. They are separate individuals with flaws, goals, motivations… they are human.

So much of this work is grief work. The entry is often anger, but getting into the grief of your childhood is the deepest work.

Check out Rick’s first book of poetry: Iron Man Family Outing: Poems about Transition into a More Conscious Manhood

You can learn more about Rick’s Coaching for Men at RickBeldenCoaching.com

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Feel with Rick Belden

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 88, Masculine Emotional Intelligence is Not an Oxymoron with Owen Marcus

Masculine Emotional Intelligence is Not an Oxymoron with Owen Marcus Episode 88, April 3, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author, speaker, and coach, Owen Marcus, to talk about men and emotions, men’s groups, and other tools for men to build remarkable lives. Men are leaving behind the duality of being macho OR sensitive. It doesn’t have to be either/or.

“What holds us back from being Remarkable is how we matured as men.” ~Owen Marcus

Owen shares his experience with 20 years of men’s groups up to his current venture, EvryMan.co, which is out to engage more men with the power of brotherhood, authenticity, and vulnerability. There are a connection and relief that happens when a man discovers he is no more messed up than every other man.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What got you first involved with men’s work?
  • Why do so many men struggle emotionally?
  • What was your experience with the first meeting of your first men’s group?
  • What is masculine emotional intelligence?
  • What made you such a fan of Men’s Groups?
  • How men’s groups are saving lives.
  • What is the ultimate goal for EvryMan.co?
  • Owen’s TEDx Talk  –What 10,000 Years Of Progress Has Cost
  • Owen’s #1 tip for any man feel isolated and stuck.

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“As men we aren’t bad or broken… we never were taught what we needed to become the Remarkable Men – that we want to be.” ~Owen Marcus

Most men were never taught how to feel. They were told not to feel. They’ve become disconnected from their intuition and emotions. Unfortunately for many men, they won’t reach out until their pain is greater than their fear.

Grab Owen’s book: Grow Up: A Man’s Guide to Masculine Emotional Intelligence™ – the 9 Steps to releasing the Remarkable Man within You
#RealMenFeel

You can learn more about Owen at OwenMarcus.com
Look for a men’s group near you at EvryMan.co

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Real Men Feel with Owen Marcus

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 87, Moving to UnHidden from Hidden with Robert Kandell

Moving to UnHidden from Hidden with Robert Kandell Episode 87, March 27, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by coach, podcast host, and author, Robert Kandell, to talk about the gap in communication between men and women, the facades we wear, and how we can be less hidden in all of our relationships.

Robert shares a lot of knowledge and stories as he talks about his twenty-year journey to being an amazing person. Today, men don’t know who to be. Many are giving up instead of upping their game. And women are noticing.

“All genders co-created the current situation. Women are as reasonable for patriarchy as men.” ~Robert Kandell

The world is opening for women, but shrinking for men. Robert sees the Millennials as changing the dynamics of gender, dating, communication and more. It will take a generation before it settles down.

Topics Covered Include:

  • You’ve worked as a business coach and a life coach – how different is that?
  • What was your path into doing this sort of work?
  • The struggle of the nice guy.
  • Being numb and dumb for 28 years.
  • What makes it a tough time to be a man?
  • Are there role models for being a good man today?
  • What does the future of gender look like to you?
  • What is living “unHidden?”
  • Robert’s most unpopular opinion.
  • The power of 100% honesty in relationships.
  • What sort of topics do you cover in your Tuff Love podcast?
  • The notion of “hungry ghosts.”

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“Men are dumb and women are angry.” ~Robert Kandell

Some of the great books Robert mentioned:
No More Mr. Nice Guy
The General Theory of Love
Man, Interrupted
War Against Boys

His own unHidden: A Book For Men and those confused by them is expected to be released in November, 2018.

#RealMenFeel

You can learn more about Robert at RobertKandell.com

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Real Men Feel - Robert Kandell

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 86, Having a Positive Relationship with Your Ex-wife

Having a Positive Relationship with Your Ex-wife with Al DeLuise Episode 86, March 20, 2018

This week Andy Grant is visited by writer, Al DeLuise, for a hilarious conversation about choosing to create a positive experience following a divorce. People can get divorced without wanting to kill each other.

Al has been writing humorous essays, which are often about him and his ex-wife, Arlene, since 2012. His writing about her often bothers other people much more than it does her. In fact, Al runs every article by Arlene first, and she’ll even remind of things to include. Despite that, one reader compared him to Hitler.

“Take the opportunity to calm down… There is no reason to go through hell.” ~Al DeLuise

Al says he’s getting along better with his ex-wife than his parents did while they were married. Having a good divorce is possible for anyone. It takes a conscious decision.

Topics Covered Include:

  • A life of nothing but conflict and scotch.
  • How his blog with Huffington Post started.
  • Have you always written comedic pieces?
  • Ex-wife approves everything written about her.
  • I’m not making fun of her.
  • Has she ever said, No – you can’t write about that?
  • Is it possible to have a positive divorce?
  • What do your kids think about the articles?
  • Mingling with Clooney and Pacino.
  • Being huge in Norway.
  • What article has gotten the biggest response?
  • What was the most surprising reaction?
  • Watch Al discover how Zoom works.

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Some of the specific pieces mentioned on the show:
Driving Miss Crazy
The Day I Got Engaged the Universe Was Trying to Tell Me Something
What I Learned About My Ex-Wife After My Daughter’s College Graduation

#RealMenFeel

Check out Al on GoodMenProject.com

You can learn more about Al at ConflictAndScotch.com.

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Real Men Feel: Al DeLuise

Conflict & Scotch

Real Men Feel: Ep. 85, Men Going Their Own Way

Men Going Their Own Way Episode 85, March 13, 2018

This week Andy Grant is visited by writer and speaker, Anthony Simeone, to discuss the MGTOW movement, toxic masculinity, and the notion that women are evil.

“Guys, we need to stop blaming women for our problems.” ~Anthony Simeone

The first time we heard of MGTOW was in a piece Anthony wrote a few weeks ago that got a lot of comments, Watch Out for Men ‘Goating Their Own Way.’ Anthony Simeone has over two decades of experience in the practical application of literature, philosophy, psychology, and other disciplines. The culmination of his work is the Live the Hero concept, which he offers as a “life path” for use in overcoming obstacles. Live the Hero combines the wisdom found in the arts and humanities with the latest discoveries related to modern neuroscience.

Heroism is inherent to the human condition. Looking out for each other, cooperating is heroism. It comes out of self-preservation but adds altruism and empathy

Topics Covered Include:

  • What is the MGTOW movement?
  • Is masculinity toxic?
  • What is meant by the term “toxic-masculinity?”
  • Are women evil?
  • The dangers of scapegoating.
  • What drives our quest for certainty?
  • What got you into these explorations of masculinity?
  • What do you mean by The Heroic Man?
  • Why men are becoming killers.

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What IS toxic is the “programming” men are receiving, skewing their perceptions of the world towards cynicism, loneliness, and violence (both physical and mental). It’s time to turn the conversation around to what’s virtuous, honorable, and positive about men. ~Anthony Simeone

Explore How You Can Become a Non-Toxic Man.

#RealMenFeel

Check out Anthony on GoodMenProject.com

You can learn more about Anthony and his work at livethehero.com.

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Real Men Feel with Anthony Simeone