Real Men Feel: Episode 70, Sexual Harassment

Sexual Harassment, Episode 70, October 17, 2017

With the unfolding sexual harassment scandal of Harvey Weinstein and the viral rush of #MeToo social media posts with both men and women admitting to experiencing sexual harassment, Real Men Feel’s Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, have an open discussion on sexual harassment with special guest, Andy’s wife, Lori Grant.

What is sexual harassment? How do men take part in harassment without realizing it? What can men do to change their own behavior or the behavior of harassers?

Sexual Harassment

US Equal Opportunity Commission
It is unlawful to harass a person (an applicant or employee) because of that person’s sex. Harassment can include “sexual harassment” or unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.

Harassment does not have to be of a sexual nature, however, and can include offensive remarks about a person’s sex. For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general.

Both victim and the harasser can be either a woman or a man, and the victim and harasser can be the same sex.

Although the law doesn’t prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not very serious, harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment or when it results in an adverse employment decision (such as the victim being fired or demoted).

The harasser can be the victim’s supervisor, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or someone who is not an employee of the employer, such as a client or customer.

The Rock Test: Treat all women like you would treat Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
Even better, imagine that what you are doing (or considering doing) is being done to you mother, partner, sister or daughter (friend, loved one, pet…). Would you be upset? If yes, Stop It!

References:

Sexual Harassment: 5 Essential Reads

Weinstein Lesson: Lot to Lose, Little to Gain by Reporting Sex Harassment

The Full List of Harvey Weinstein Accusers

Sexual Harassment on Wikipedia

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MeTooPhoto by Mihai Surdu on Unsplash

No More Sexual Harassment

 

Real Men Feel

Real Men Feel: Episode 69, Male Violence

Male Violence, Episode 69, October 10, 2017

In the wake of the Las Vegas Massacre, Real Men Feel’s Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, have an open discussion on male violence. All fans of the show were invited to take part.

Is violence innate to being a man? Are white males particularly violent? If male violence is a problem is it primarily a mental health issue, a gun issue, something else? Can it be legislated?

We touch on such hot topics as gun control, notions of “crazy” or “evil”, mental health, “lone wolf”, terrorists and possible root causes of male violence including depression, anger, isolation and more. Too many men live in isolation and believe anger is the only emotion they are allowed to have.
It is a cop-out to say someone is crazy or evil and there is nothing we can do. – Andy Grant

Articles Referenced:
The White Privilege of The Lone Wolf Shooter – Shaun King
https://theintercept.com/2017/10/02/lone-wolf-white-privlege-las-vegas-stephen-paddock/

Thoughts on Vegas, and Why Men Keep Doing This – Charlie Hoehn
https://byrslf.co/thoughts-on-the-vegas-shooting-14af397cee2c

The Real Causes of the Las Vegas Massacre Few Are Willing To Accept – Jed Diamond
http://menalive.com/real-causes-las-vegas-massacre-willing-accept/

Andy’s recommended book: An Indigenous People’s History of the United States.

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Mandaylay Bay, 32nd Floor
Photo by Joel Angel Juarez, Las Vegas Review-Journal

Real Men Feel

A First-Timer’s Guide to Surviving a Comic Con

YAY ME! I’m no longer a comic con newbie!

I attended my first comic con a few weeks ago, when my niece invited me to go to Salt Lake Comic Con with her. I was thrilled to accept the invitation because I come from a pretty nerdy family and it didn’t seem right that I hadn’t been to at least one comic con; especially living as close as I do to one of North America’s larger events.

Even though I had never been to a con, I had a fair idea of what to expect: Large crowds, expensive food, celebrities ranging from major Hollywood types to C-listers, and more cosplayers than the populations of many small towns in middle America.

Salt Lake Comic Con didn’t disappoint.

I lost count of how many people were dressed up as Spiderman. Same with Deadpool. And Jedi’s. And storm troopers. I even ran into Darth Vader getting dressed in the men’s restroom. Surprisingly, I only counted 12 Starfleet officers.

Even my niece dressed up. She is hands-down the nerdiest of my family—which is why I love her so much—and she was in her element. She cosplayed a character from one of her favorite anime series and I was surprised at how many times people stopped her to take pictures. She even ran into another young girl dressed as the same character, so they of course took their picture together.

Oh yeah… note to self: At my next comic con, remember to text myself any pictures I take from a friend’s or relative’s phone. I was so busy taking pictures with my niece’s phone I forgot to take pictures with my own.

Since I was being guided by a veteran of previous cons, I was happy to go along with whatever my niece wanted to do. I’m glad I did, because I had a blast. As I said, my niece was in her element. She patiently explained all of her fandoms as we walked around and she excitedly pointed out unique characters I had no idea existed.

By the end of the day I was exhausted but happy. I came away from the con feeling even more nerdy than I did before, but there are some practical things I learned as well:

Be prepared to spend lots of money. I didn’t care about getting celebrity autographs, buying fan art, or filling up my home office with more stuff that will just gather dust. But if that’s your thing, then take lots of cash or leave plenty of room on your credit card… and be disciplined enough to stick to a budget. You’ll thank yourself later.

Plan on leaving the convention center during the event. Why? You have to eat at some point. Convention food is already expensive, but at a comic con? Prices are as astronomical as the budgets of Hollywood blockbusters. $8 dollars for a churro that I can get for $.75 cents from a street vendor? Ummmm… no.

Just keep in mind that you’ll have to battle crowds no matter where you go during a con, so plan for at least a 90 minute lunch. This is especially true in a city like Salt Lake where the city blocks are HUGE and most “quick” food options are a few blocks away.

Speaking of crowds, don’t go if you’re claustrophobic. Crowds don’t bother me, but even then I had a hard time navigating the vendor floor. There were hordes of people there. Think Times Square on New Year’s Eve. That’s what it felt like. I learned that if there’s an invitation to geek out, those of us tuned into that siren song will answer the call. And since I live in the nerdiest state in the U.S.… well… need I say more?

“Business Of…” panels are more interesting than pop-culture panels. This is strictly my own opinion. I attended several artist panels with my niece and I was fascinated to hear insider perspectives on what it’s like to work as an artist in the entertainment industry. I got a real education in a very short time.

At one point, I got curious enough about a Marvel panel I slipped away to attend it. I thought the panel would involve one or two Marvel studio execs sharing what they could about their plans for the Infinity War movies. What I got instead was a panel of local celebrities speculating about what they think might happen and what they would like to see happen. The discussion was interesting, but after 15 minutes, I quietly rejoined my niece.

I admit I was disappointed, but that’s okay. My point is that if you’re going to a comic con, attend as many panels as you can. You may be pleasantly surprised, or you may be disappointed. At the very least, you’ll get an education and you’ll better define what you like and what you don’t.

You’re going to have fun no matter what. I know that comic cons aren’t everyone’s thing; but if you’re even remotely curious, go. In spite of the crowds, the overpriced food, and a pair of extremely sore feet at the end of the day, you’ll have more fun than you’ll expect.

One last thing: Watching my niece light up so frequently, and having her explain so many unknown elements of geek culture to me, was by far the highlight of my day. Go with someone you know appreciates all things geek, and your experience will be that much better.

And if you’re wondering if I plan to attend next year’s con, the answer is yes. I’m all about living joyously, after all, so why not?


About Appio Hunter
Appio is an author, speaker, spiritual guide, and self-described champion for living joyously. He facilitates conversations with groups and individuals about how they can be authentic and experience community, connection, and alignment every day. Appio is also co-host of the Real Men Feel Show along with his good friend Andy Grant. You can learn more about his work at AppioHunter.com.

 

Real Men Feel: Episode 68, Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse

Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse, Episode 68, September 26, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by regular guy, Brendan Rowe, who shares what he’s gone through for his own healing from childhood sexual abuse in an effort to help others. Andy talks about his experiences with sexual abuse as well, including common fears that can keep men silent.

1 in 6 men have experienced abusive sexual experiences before age 18 (based on reports only, so the actual number is surely higher). Talking about it is not as common. Let’s change that.

There is shame in silence. Shame requires secrecy. Shame feeds the feeling of victimhood. Taking any issue out of the shadows, by talking about it, by sharing experiences and feelings, makes healing possible. Shame kept Brendan from feeling like a man. He felt like a boy who couldn’t grow up.

The whole point is to show other men that there is healing in talking about it. – Brendan

You are not alone. People do care. There is help, and you are worth it!

Connect with Brendan Rowe on Facebook: facebook.com/thrivemale

Visit Brendan’s blog Thrive

More Resources:
1in6.org
malesurvivor.org
livingwell.org.au
mkp.org

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1 in 6 men have been sexualy abused

Real Men Feel Show

Real Men Feel: Episode 67, Heroes of Hurricane Harvey

Real Men Feel: Heroes of Hurricane Harvey Episode 67, August 29, 2017

This week, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, give a shout out to all the amazing people of Texas and Louisiana who are helping and supporting each other through the natural disaster of Harvey. It is often tragedy that brings people the closest together.

Through it all, wherever you are – watching on TV or in the midst of flood waters – allow your feelings to flow.

While you are pumping your gas in the coming weeks and months and notice the higher prices, be grateful that you have that car, that you have a home to go to. Be grateful for all that you have.

What if life itself was enough of a disaster for us to have compassion and caring for each other? ~ Andy Grant

How You Can Helphttps://www.forbes.com/sites/kellyphillipserb/2017/08/28/helping-out-after-hurricane-harvey-where-what-how-to-donate/#74eaa3dd3c79

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HOUSTON, TX – AUGUST 28: People are rescued from a flooded neighborhood after it was inundated with rain water, remnants of Hurricane Harvey, on August 28, 2017 in Houston, Texas. Harvey, which made landfall north of Corpus Christi late Friday evening, is expected to dump upwards to 40 inches of rain in areas of Texas over the next couple of days. (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)

 

Hurricane Harvey 2017 Flooding of Hurricane Harvey Dog Rescue Hurricane Harvey 2017

 

Real Men Feel: Episode 66, Reconnection

Real Men Feel Reconnection Episode 66, August 22, 2017

In this episode Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are together again for the first time in two months. Their planned guest couldn’t make it, so this week was a wide ranging coffee talk and reconnection show.

This is an open and authentic conversation that too many men don’t get to be part of. It is a sharing and supportive experience between friends. Topics include where the show has been, the eclipse, astrology, depression, grief, loss of fathers, questioning being a good friend, all or nothing thinking, release, and discovery.

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Reconnection

 

 

Real Men Feel: Episode 65, Real Men Can Feel Suicidal

Real Men Can Feel Suicidal Episode 65, August 18, 2017

Real Men Feel host Andy Grant goes solo again to share some personal insights as well as a few tools for dealing with depression and negative or suicidal thinking.

Andy opens up regarding some recent conversations, discoveries, admissions and rationalizations. He also shares three simple yet powerful tools that anyone can use to help deal with negative or suicidal thinking. The tools include pivoting, witnessing and expressing.

Life is meant to be simple and enjoyed. Make choices that result in you enjoying life more.

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Real Men Can Feel Depressed

Real Men Feel: Episode 64, Real Men Feel Disappointment in Themselves

Real Men Feel Disappointment in Themselves Episode 64, August 15, 2017

Real Men Feel returns after 9 weeks with Andy Grant going solo to explain where he’s been.

Real men feel lost, alone, desperate, apathetic, and everything else. Real men feel like shit. Real men can feel like they are not real. They can question whether they are men. Real men feel – or can feel  – disappointed in themselves. I know all this is true, because that is how I’ve been feeling for many months.~ Andy Grant

Andy comes up for air after trying to overdose on apathy and attempts to explain the feelings of disappointment that can lead to attraction of his own demise.

If you’ve listened to this episode, here is a bit of closure to some of what Andy shared.
On July 3rd we were told my dad had days to weeks to live and my wife and I decided we couldn’t sell our home and deal with that at the same time. Especially since moving into my dad’s home for his last few months to care for him was one possible landing spot for us, so we pulled our house off the market.
And Sadie is okay, she’s on medication and has had seizures once since the original night. We’ve learned dog’s having seizures is much more common than we knew.

Andy’s earlier related posts: Sharing From My Low Point and Dealing with a Dad with Dementia.

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Photo by whoislimos on Unsplash

Photo by whoislimos on Unsplash

Real Men Feel: Episode 63, From Warrior to Healer with Mike Marschhausen

Warrior to Healer

From Warrior to Healer with Mike Marschhausen, Episode 63, June 6, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by co-founder and healer at SpiritualityForMen.com, Mike Marschhausen. Mike shares his story of growth and discovery from military combat in Afghanistan to a spiritual awakening in Mexico.

Mike tells how someone offering an energy healing for his dog started him on his journey to becoming a healer himself. Now he wants to bring spirituality and energy work to more men. Spirituality For Men is all about helping men to navigate their inner realm.

Drop the warrior. Why recreate war in your life?

We all have a warrior within us, but that doesn’t mean we need to fight and struggle to utilize it. Mike, Andy & Appio all share various experiences with energy work, emotions, fears and shadows.

Connect with Mike on Facebook: facebook.com/spiritualityformenofficial

Visit SpiritualityForMen.com

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Real Men Feel: Episode 62, The Challenge of Intimacy with Rev. Jody Bailey

Real Men Feel: Intimacy

The Challenge of Intimacy with Rev. Jody Bailey, Episode 62, May 30, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by speaker, author and coach, Rev. Jody Bailey, to help men embrace intimacy and tap into their core life force energy for health, wealth and happiness.

We explore what intimacy is. That it is different from sexuality, and all the areas of life intimacy shows up in. Jody shares some of the most common challenges men have to intimacy which include social conditioning and fear. The fear of intimacy is much bigger than the fear of sex.

Authenticity is beautiful. Vulnerability is attractive. 

Jody also shares a great exercise to develop more self-love by standing naked in front of a mirror. Appio has done this and talks about his experience. 

Connect with Rev Jody on Facebook: facebook.com/jodyspeaksinc

See her The Erotic Life blog and The Erotic Life Podcast.

Check out the hi device, Jody mentioned.

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