Real Men Feel: Ep. 144, The Price of Unexpressed Emotions

The Price of Unexpressed Emotions Episode 144, August 20, 2019

Husband, father, speaker, writer, coach, and trainer of men, George Stoimenov, shares the toll that unexpressed emotions took on his family, relationships, community and soul. Part of you dies when you aren’t free to express yourself.

“Depression is the opposite of expression.” ~ George Stoimenov

George shares his powerful experiences from living in an oppressed, communist Bulgaria, to meeting a girl who demanded more from him, to his introspection, growth and being of service to other men. Insights into depression, relationships, happiness, and being more than a boy in a man’s body abound in this interview. George and Andy touche on inner child work, forgiveness, expression, and the power in being childlike.

Topics and Questions Include:

  • (2:18) What was it like growing up in Bulgaria?
  • (3:39) The curse of my existence.
  • (4:43) What were you taught or shown in terms of how men are supposed to act?
  • (9:06) How did you deal with your self-hatred?
  • (12:41) What was the change that allowed you to express your emotions?
  • (19:30) How to forgive people.
  • (23:00) Why do you think many men hide or deny their emotions?
  • (29:43 )What’s the toll stuffing your emotions took on you?
  • (32:00) How did your unexpressed emotions affect other people?
  • (33:47) How do you play today?
  • (36:15) You’ve created a resource called The Men’s Corner – tell me about that?
  • (37:48) What prompted you to want to work with other men?
  • (39:40) Can you share a habit, practice, program, or book that has helped you?
  • (43:16) How’s your relationship with your dad today?
  • (46:35) What is one thing you wish more men knew?
  • (49:32) What are you proud of?
  • (50:33) What are you looking forward to?

Support Real Men Feel
Grab some goodies at the Real Men Feel swag emporium.


Listen here:


“I wish for more men to be strong in their broken places.” ~ George Stoimenov

Connect with George at TrainingForMen.co.uk and MensCorner.co.uk.

Explore the books Clifford recommended, Broken: My Story of Addiction and Redemption and King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine.

Join the private Real Men Feel Facebook Group

#RealMenFeel

Subscribe to the podcast at RealMenFeel.org/iTunes

Show your support for Real Men Feel by shopping at realmenfeel.org/swag.

Like the show on Facebook facebook.com/realmenfeelshow

Watch this episode on YouTube.

Enjoy Real Men Feel on Stitcher.

Listen to the podcast on Google Play.

Let us know what you thought here in the comments or shoot an email to realmenfeel@gmail.com.


The Price of Unexpressed Emotions

Photo by Jasper Graetsch on Unsplash

Real Men Feel: Ep. 142, Regular Guy Chat with Al

Regular Guy Chat with Al Episode 142, August 6, 2019

Self-described “regular guy,” Al Flemming, joins us to talk about life, fatherhood, happiness and being a man. Al messaged the show about wanting to hear more stories from everyday guys. Guys living extraordinary lives and the struggles they’ve overcome.

“I want to be happy in life. As long as I continue to do that and be a naturally loving person, then I’m a success.” ~ Al Flemming

Al’s message to the show: “I think shows with regular guys -people who don’t have books, clients, websites (or ones that are not updated ) etc.- yet still get up and keep going everyday. Regular guys who have stories that are inspiring because they could just fade into non-existence but that just keep going. That fascinates me and inspires me. I just wonder why those guys (yes guys like me) are not highlighted. Not everyone’s “greatness” includes books, social media presence, etc.”

Topics and Questions Include:

  • Why did you reach out?
  • Attention versus being of service.
  • Importance of being a dad.
  • Al’s experience as a son.
  • What Al has overcome.
  • How did you learn what it means to be a man?
  • What is a great dad?
  • What does ‘regular guy’ mean to you?
  • Can you share a habit, practice, program, or book that has helped you?
  • Is life easy or hard?
  • What is one thing you wish more men knew?
  • What keeps you up at night?
  • What are you proud of?


Support Real Men Feel
Grab some goodies at the Real Men Feel swag emporium.


Listen here:


“If I’m not willing to be open and honest about this, then I don’t need it in my life.” ~ Al Flemming

Connect with Al on Instagram, Twitter or his rarely updated website, AlSpeakUp.com.

Check out MankindProject and Easton Mountain.

Explore the books Al mentioned, The Four Agreements and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.

Join the private Real Men Feel Facebook Group

#RealMenFeel

Subscribe to the podcast at RealMenFeel.org/iTunes

Show your support for Real Men Feel by shopping at realmenfeel.org/swag.

Like the show on Facebook facebook.com/realmenfeelshow

Watch this episode on YouTube.

Enjoy Real Men Feel on Stitcher.

Listen to the podcast on Google Play.

Let us know what you thought here in the comments or shoot an email to realmenfeel@gmail.com.


Real Men Feel: Ep. 141, Do Politics & Men’s Work Mix?

Do Politics & Men’s Work Mix? Episode 141, July 30, 2019

Curator of TheMensSchool, Jan Hutchins, returns to the Real Men Feel to talk about political discourse, men’s work, hallucinations, division, responsibility, and the shit hitting the fan. TheMensSchool is a public Facebook group with over 4,000 members. It is a learning community cultivating the deep sacred masculine in us all (clear, compassionate, cooperative, secure).

“It is part of being a man of the world to play a role in the experience you’re having. To take responsibility for your world and your life.” ~ Jan Hutchins

Jan is two-time prior guest of the show and we begin by revisiting a previous topic; Is life easy or hard?
Then we move on to the subject many try to avoid but has become too dominant an aspect of our culture – politics. Specifically, what prompted him to begin sharing political posts in TheMensSchool and what the reaction has been. The conversation takes us to hallucinations, trauma, chaos, and how best to chill through the showman’s shit storm.

Topics and Questions Include:

  • Revisiting, Is life easy or hard?
  • Suffering.
  • What made you decide to first share political articles and opinions?
  • What’s the response been?
  • Why Jan likes push-back.
  • Why have we become so jaded and cynical?
  • Is this extreme divisiveness the new normal or an aberration?
  • Do you have any fears or hopes around a Trump reelection?
  • A viral response from Trump supporters.
  • What might unwind the tension?
  • The corporate takeover of the U.S.
  • What might prompt the bringing together of people again?
  • Do politics and men’s work go together?
  • What is one thing you wish more men knew?


Support Real Men Feel
Grab some goodies at the Real Men Feel swag emporium.


Listen here:


“We are living in a pandemic of stress, trauma, and attachment disorder.” ~ Jan Hutchins

Connect with Jan on Facebook

Check out TheMensSchool

Explore the book Jan mentioned, The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

Join the private Real Men Feel Facebook Group

#RealMenFeel

Subscribe to the podcast at RealMenFeel.org/iTunes

Show your support for Real Men Feel by shopping at realmenfeel.org/swag, or visit DigitalTipJar.com/realmenfeel

Like the show on Facebook facebook.com/realmenfeelshow

Watch this episode on YouTube.

Enjoy Real Men Feel on Stitcher.

Listen to the podcast on Google Play.

Let us know what you thought here in the comments or shoot an email to realmenfeel@gmail.com.


Real Men Feel: Ep. 140, That’s What a Man Does

That’s What a Man Does Episode 140, July 24, 2019

Inspirational speaker, author, combat veteran, and dog trainer, Ryan Matthews, discusses reshaping what a man does by experiencing the healing power of sharing your trauma to grow and help others.

“I had been a boy in a man body for most of my life.” ~ Ryan Matthews

Ryan shares a wide range of experiences ranging from being a drug dealer to training elite Army K-9s, to multiple near-death experiences, and realizing his tough guy, machismo act wasn’t really him. This episode is chock full of authenticity, awareness, vulnerability, and dogs.

Topics and Questions Include:

  • The desire to isolate.
  • How did you get started training dogs?
  • Having a million-dollar business, but feeling like a failure.
  • You’ve had multiple near-death experiences, were they all variations on the same lesson?
  • Why share your pain?
  • How did you open up to your feminine side?
  • Ryan’s song, “That’s What a Man Does.”
  • What are the benefits of being authentic?
  • Why do so many men resist being seen as vulnerable?
  • Life lessons from dogs.
  • Tell us about your first TEDx Talk experience, “Overcoming PTSD Using Dog Training Techniques.”
  • The RCTR formula.
  • Do you prefer hanging out with dogs or people?
  • What is one thing you wish more men knew?
  • What are you proud of?


Support Real Men Feel
Grab some goodies at the Real Men Feel swag emporium.


Listen here:


“What I thought made me a man, wasn’t necessarily true.” ~ Ryan Matthews

Visit Ryan’s site, WorldOfDogTraining.com

Connect with Ryan on Facebook

Check out Ryan’s books, The Canine Connection: A Training Guide for Owners who Love their Dogs and The Art of Dog Training: Training Secrets From Combat Canine Handler Turned Celebrity Dog Trainer

See Andy’s book, Homer the Hound Dog’s Guide to Happiness: 6 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dog!

Join the private Real Men Feel Facebook Group

#RealMenFeel

Subscribe to the podcast at RealMenFeel.org/iTunes

Show your support for Real Men Feel by shopping at realmenfeel.org/swag, or visit DigitalTipJar.com/realmenfeel

Like the show on Facebook facebook.com/realmenfeelshow

Watch this episode on YouTube.

Enjoy Real Men Feel on Stitcher.

Listen to the podcast on Google Play.

Let us know what you thought here in the comments or shoot an email to realmenfeel@gmail.com.


Listen to the show

Real Men Feel: Ep. 139, Removing our Emotional Barriers

Removing our Emotional Barriers Episode 139, July 9, 2019

Coach, Matt Dillingham, shares his insights around being willing to look deeper into ourselves and what to do with what you find.

“We are taught to resist what we feel and only express ourselves through anger. e posterchild for avoiding vulnerability. I avoided it at all costs.” ~Matt Dillingham

In the show, Matt shares a technique that eliminated his fear of flying and that he uses to help his client process their emotions.

Topics and Questions Include:

  • What is the biggest reason men commit the majority of crimes?
  • Is expressing emotions natural?
  • Were you ever called weak or a pussy?
  • The problem with focusing only on mindset
  • Is not expressing emotions something men are taught?
  • Are the dangers of a boy crying different than for a man?
  • As an emotional man, how did you end up in the Marines?
  • Why have men been told it is wrong to be vulnerable?
  • How do we remove our emotional barriers?
  • The secret of life
  • How do we best deal with our emotions?
  • What is one thing you wish more men knew?
  • What are you looking forward to?


Support Real Men Feel
Grab some goodies at the Real Men Feel swag emporium.


Listen here:


“Feelings drive behavior.” ~ Matt Dillingham

Connect with Matt on Facebook and Instagram

Check out the book, Feelings Drive Behaviour

Join the private Real Men Feel Facebook Group

#RealMenFeel

Subscribe to the podcast at RealMenFeel.org/iTunes

Show your support for Real Men Feel by shopping at realmenfeel.org/swag, or visit DigitalTipJar.com/realmenfeel

Like the show on Facebook facebook.com/realmenfeelshow

Watch this episode on YouTube.

Enjoy Real Men Feel on Stitcher.

Listen to the podcast on Google Play.

Let us know what you thought here in the comments or shoot an email to realmenfeel@gmail.com.


Real Men Feel: Ep. 138, Real Men Talk

Real Men Talk Episode 138, July 6, 2019

Host, Andy Grant, explains where the show has been for the last three months and the importance of men feeling and talking.

It may seem strange that an episode called Real Men Talk doesn’t feature any guests, but I’m here to talk to you this time.

Just because you think it, doesn’t mean it’s true. And just because it’s in your head, doesn’t mean it’s you.” ~Andy Grant

Andy talks about where the show has been for the past three months and his descent into darkness.


Support Real Men Feel
Grab some goodies at the Real Men Feel swag emporium.


Listen here:


Check out Andy’s book, Still Here: How to Succeed in Life After Failing at Suicide

#RealMenFeel

Join the private Real Men Feel Facebook Group

Subscribe to the podcast at RealMenFeel.org/iTunes

Show your support for Real Men Feel by shopping at realmenfeel.org/swag, or visit DigitalTipJar.com/realmenfeel

Like the show on Facebook facebook.com/realmenfeelshow

Watch this episode on YouTube.

Enjoy Real Men Feel on Stitcher.

Listen to the podcast on Google Play.

Let us know what you thought here in the comments or shoot an email to realmenfeel@gmail.com.


Real Men Feel: Ep. 137, The Price of Heartbreak

The Price of Heartbreak Episode 137, April 10, 2019

Author, Rick Sharpe, joins us to discuss his experience with depression following the end of a relationship and discovering the power in his own vulnerability. Note: Rick joined us from Dubai and the video froze a few times, but the audio is solid.

“I was the posterchild for avoiding vulnerability. I avoided it at all costs.” ~Rick Sharpe

Rick’s book and this conversation focuses on discovering the power in vulnerability as well as learning the difference between reacting and responding.

Topics and Questions Include:

  • What has you living in Dubai?
  • What prompted your book, The Price of Heartbreak?
  • Was this your first breakup?
  • What was your healing process like?
  • Discovering Brené Brown.
  • Where did you learn it was wrong to be vulnerable?
  • What was the goal of the book?
  • What’s the best thing that has happened from writing, The Price of Heartbreak?
  • Were you afraid to know yourself?
  • What stands out as a key to your growth and healing?
  • Some men respond to heartbreak by giving up on relationships entirely, is that something you considered?


Support Real Men Feel
Grab some goodies at the Real Men Feel swag emporium.


Listen here:


“I had to learn to love how I am. That was a huge leap of faith.” ~ Rick Sharpe

Learn more about Rick at Rick-Sharpe.com

Check out Rick’s book, The Price of Heartbreak: Healing is mindfully feeling

Join the private Real Men Feel Facebook Group

#RealMenFeel

Subscribe to the podcast at RealMenFeel.org/iTunes

Show your support for Real Men Feel by shopping at realmenfeel.org/swag, or visit DigitalTipJar.com/realmenfeel

Like the show on Facebook facebook.com/realmenfeelshow

Watch this episode on YouTube.

Enjoy Real Men Feel on Stitcher.

Listen to the podcast on Google Play.

Let us know what you thought here in the comments or shoot an email to realmenfeel@gmail.com.


Real Men Feel: Rick Sharpe

Real Men Feel: Ep. 130, The Emotions of Vacations

The Emotions of Vacations Episode 130, February 24, 2019

After returning from a trip to Israel and Jordan, Andy Grant reflects on the emotions that can show up during and after vacations.

Everybody loves vacations, right?

Apparently not, since 47% of Americans didn’t take all of their vacation time in 2017 and 21% left more than five available vacation days up for grabs.

Above the Treasury at Petra

Above the iconic Treasury at Petra, Jordan.

My wife and I recently returned home for a two week trip to the Middle East, spending one week in Israel and the next week in Jordan. The rock-carved city of Petra was the main reason behind the trip. But both countries had a lot to offer and warrant repeat visits.

We had a fantastic time full of ancient sites, sacred places, and friendly people. I learned a lot about the religion and politics of the area and found I had many misconceptions about the Middle East from growing up in the US. My time in Israel was probably the most intellectually and politically challenging trip I’ve taken. We talked with Arabs, Jews, Christians, Muslims, Palestinians, Isralies, and Jordanians.

Toward the final days, I noticed moments of sadness that things were winding down.
The sadness was mixed with a feeling that two weeks was long enough and I was ready to return home. I recalled years earlier when it was normal for me to feel depressed with days remaining of a vacation because I so dreaded my return to daily life.

Some people like vacations of sitting on the beach and doing nothing. I prefer active holidays where I do things I don’t usually do, especially when I worked as a cube dweller for corporate America.

When I tried to just lay on the beach in the past, my thoughts would turn negative. I’d focus on all the things I didn’t like instead of relaxing. Then I’d drink to remove those thoughts. That worked in the short term, but if I just wanted to drink, I could do that at home much cheaper, so I quickly stopped those sort of trips too.

I’ve visited such places as Machu Pichu, Stonehenge, and Easter Island. I’ve been white water rafting, rappelling, and hiking in Europe, South America, and Africa. A staycation can be nice, but my favorite vacations are ones when I need another vacation to recover from them.

Floating in the Dead Sea

Floating in the Dead Sea

Even today, I can recall being in the jungles of Belize in 2005, but feeling very down because the following Monday I’d be back at work. It was a time that I thought I hated my job, and sometimes my life. Yet, a few days prior, I was enjoying myself and life.

These realizations helped me learn the power of being present.
When fully present, I felt better. I wondered why was it that I was time traveling in my thinking.

Why was I ignoring the fantastic experiences I was having to jump forward to my return to the mundane?

I decided that since I could be full of energy and joy on a vacation when I was present and focused on what I was doing, that I would do my best to live like I was on vacation. All the time.

I did pretty well at that for a long time. Treating each day like it was new. Looking for things that were unusual, special, and fun. If those weren’t apparent, I find a way to bring those elements to what I was doing.

The Western Wall

The Western Wall, or Wailing Wall, in the Old City of Jerusalem.

So as I noticed some sadness as this trip was winding down, I explored what exactly I was feeling sad about.
I was going to miss the people. We were a group of 13 in Israel and then 16 in Jordan. I liked my instant family of global citizens traveling, sharing, dining together for long days full of once in a lifetime experiences.

Back home, I often work in isolation. I sometimes forget to admit to myself that I actually like people. I was going to miss having a guide take me to amazing new places every day. I was going to miss having every day planned by someone else when I just needed to show up and be marveled. I would miss walking into restaurants and recognizing a dozen faces. There was no responsibility or stress. Just being present and amazed.

Realizing that I was sad over what was ending as opposed to what I was returning to, made me smile.


Support Real Men Feel
Grab some goodies at the Real Men Feel swag emporium.


Listen here:


Join the private Real Men Feel Facebook Group

#RealMenFeel

Subscribe to the podcast at RealMenFeel.org/iTunes

Show your support for Real Men Feel by shopping at realmenfeel.org/swag, or visit DigitalTipJar.com/realmenfeel

Like the show on Facebook facebook.com/realmenfeelshow

Watch this episode on YouTube.

Enjoy Real Men Feel on Stitcher.

Listen to the podcast on Google Play.

Let us know what you thought here in the comments or shoot an email to realmenfeel@gmail.com.


Real Men Feel: Ep. 83, Spare Me “The Talk”

Spare Me “The Talk” with Jo Langford Episode 83, February 27, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by therapist, sex educator, author, and dad, Jo Langford, to discuss talking with teenage boys about sex. The technology of today makes discussing sex with teens very different from what it was when you first heard “the talk.”

“Fear and ignorance around sexuality cause problems.” ~Jo Langford

If you have a teenage boy, there’s a 50 percent chance that he’s already sexually active, and a 33 percent chance that he’s been solicited by an online predator in the past year. How prepared is he for the risks and realities of sex?

Jo’s mission is to provide healthy social and sexual information to teens and their parents, in a multi-pronged approach consisting of live speaking events, books and a number of resources for youth, their families and other professionals around that intersection of adolescence, sexuality, and technology.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Did you have a fantastic sex talk with your dad as a kid that set you on this path?
  • The guys each share what their sex talks were like from their parents.
  • Does technology make discussing sex with teens different today when we were kids?
  • How does internet porn change what teens know when it comes to sex?
  • What do parents look out for that says it’s time for a discussion?
  • The positive aspects of porn.
  • Jo’s journey from peer counselor to sex educator.
  • Is there a common mistake parents make when it comes to talking about sex with their kids?
  • The widening language around gender and sexual identity.
  • The sort of calls Jo gets from panicked parents.
  • What are most parents doing well?

Support Real Men Feel
Grab some goodies at the Real Men Feel swag emporium or give us a tip.


Digital Tip Jar


Jo has a Spare Me “The Talk” book for boys and another version for girls. His upcoming book, The Pride Guide, is the first puberty book for queer and trans kids.

Half the battle is being an accessible parent.

Gender identity and sexual identity don’t necessarily go hand in hand. Only 48% of youth identify themselves as “exclusively heterosexual.”

Check out Jo’s book, Spare Me ‘The Talk’!: A Guy’s Guide to Sex, Relationships, and Growing Up
See all of Jo Langford’s books

#RealMenFeel

Learn more about Jo at BeHeroes.net

Show your support for Real Men Feel by shopping at realmenfeel.org/swag, or visit DigitalTipJar.com/realmenfeel

Like the show on Facebook facebook.com/realmenfeelshow

Subscribe to the Real Men Feel podcast on iTunes.

Join our private Facebook group: facebook.com/groups/realmenfeel/

Watch this episode on YouTube.

Enjoy Real Men Feel on Stitcher.

Listen to the podcast on Google Play.

Let us know what you thought here in the comments or shoot an email to realmenfeel@gmail.com.


Help Support Real Men Feel

Digital Tip Jar


 

Real Men Feel - Jo Langford

Spare Me

Real Men Feel: Ep. 82, Dads Behaving Dadly

Dads Behaving Dadly with Hogan Hilling Episode 82, February 20, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author, Hogan Hilling, to discuss the shifting roles of fatherhood. Hilling is the author of the Dads Behaving Dadly series and also the founder of the #WeLoveDads Campaign and United We Parent.

“One of the biggest assumptions is that a guy is a stay-at-home dad as a last resort. That he had no choice.” ~Hogan Hilling

Hogan’s mission is to dispel the unfair stigma of dads as incompetent parents and more importantly prove Fatherhood Is Alive and Well! He loved being a full-time caregiver to his kids, but everyone around him kept telling him it was wrong. He got tired of defending himself and having to justify his choices in ways stay-at-home moms never have to.

“I haven’t lost any masculinity by staying home!”

Topics Covered Include:

  • The stigma stay-at-home dads face.
  • What assumptions are made about stay-at-home dads?
  • The one thing Hogan focuses on as a father.
  • “Coming out of the pantry.”
  • Dads are not replacements for moms.
  • The power and benefits of dad support groups.
  • The danger and splintering of so many parent support groups.
  • What are the dynamics for stepdads?
  • What does behaving “dadly” mean?
  • What is Hogan’s best advice for new dads?
  • #WeLoveDads campaign
  • Dad Marketing

Support Real Men Feel
Grab some goodies at the Real Men Feel swag emporium or give us a tip.


Digital Tip Jar


There is still a bias that moms are much better parents than dads. That dads are inept as caregivers and parents. That is why many men are still hesitant to come out of the pantry.

All parents need to drop the adjectives before their names: stay-at-home dad, working mom, gay dad, stepfather…follow the leads of your kids who only introduce you as dad.

Check out Hogan’s book, Dads Behaving Dadly: 67 Truths, Tears and Triumphs of Modern Fatherhood
See all of Hogan’s books

#RealMenFeel

Show your support for Real Men Feel by shopping at realmenfeel.org/swag, or visit DigitalTipJar.com/realmenfeel

Join The Men School on Facebook

Like the show on Facebook facebook.com/realmenfeelshow

Subscribe to the Real Men Feel podcast on iTunes.

Join our private Facebook group: facebook.com/groups/realmenfeel/

Watch this episode on YouTube.

Enjoy Real Men Feel on Stitcher.

Listen to the podcast on Google Play.

Let us know what you thought here in the comments or shoot an email to realmenfeel@gmail.com.


Help Support Real Men Feel

Digital Tip Jar


Real Men Feel ep 82