Real Men Feel: Ep. 105, Developing Self-Confidence with Darnell Donerson

Developing Self-Confidence Episode 105, August 7, 2018

This week Andy Grant is joined by writer, Darnell Donerson, to share his very public quest for building his confidence and overcoming negative thinking. Andy first met Darnell thanks to his debut article for GoodMenProject, Developing My Confidence.

“I got fed up with myself. Tired of being the victim.” ~Darnell Donerson

After years of struggling with his confidence, Darnell decided to turn his life around. Now he hopes to be a voice to help and inspire others. See Danell’s column on GoodMenProject.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What lead you to believe you had a problem with confidence?
  • Battling negativity and self-judgment.
  • How was growing up for you?
  • What sort of myths have you come across regarding men and confidence?
  • How immigrants see America.
  • Was there one main reason you wanted to feel more confident?
  • What made you decide to start your blog?
  • The power of setting goals.
  • The feedback Darnell’s received to his writing.
  • Anything come as surprisingly easy or difficult?
  • What are some words you used to use to describe yourself?
  • What about now?
  • What are you looking forward to?

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“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

See all of Darnell’s Good Men Project posts.

Visit Darnell’s site: Blog With Darnell.

Connect with Darnell on Twitter and Instagram.

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Real Men Feel: Confidence

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 104, Men and Postnatal Depression with Darren Horne

Men and Postnatal Depression Episode 104, July 31 2018

This week Andy Grant is joined by leadership and communications consultant, Darren Horne, to share his call to adventure including postnatal depression and being a dad. Fatherhood isn’t always a magical and loving experience from the get-go. Postnatal, or postpartum, depression can hit men as well as women.

“Our parents did not bring us into the world to work 40 – 50 hours a week doing a job we hate.” ~Darren Horne

Darren shares how he tried to avoid his depression, as well as all the tools that helped, overcome it. Despite the subject matter, this is an upbeat conversation full of passion and zest for life. See Darren’s column on GoodMenProject.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What is postnatal depression?
  • How common is this for men?
  • Had you ever heard of it or been warned about it?
  • How did you deal with your postnatal depression?
  • Since you’ve opened up about it have you met more men who’ve experienced it too?
  • The pain and grief of a miscarriage.
  • The many gifts coming out of challenges.
  • Going through a divorce and being more resilient.
  • Seeing life as a computer game.
  • We live in a society that makes money off our unhappiness.
  • The meaning of life.
  • Darren’s book for teens.
  • What does your vasectomy have to do with leadership?

 


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“We are the victim of a society that makes us stay safe in a grey and ordinary world.” ~Darren Horne

Darren’s book: Level Up Your Teens

Discover how easy it is to publish on Amazon. Check out Andy’s online course.

Learn more about Darren at DarrenHorne.com

Connect with Darren on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn.

Subscribe to the podcast at RealMenFeel.org/iTunes

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Real Men Feel - Darren Horne

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 103, Men Engaging in Difficult Conversations with Tracy Martino

Men Engaging in Difficult Conversation Episode 103, July 24, 2018

This week Andy Grant is joined by Leadership Consultant and bestselling author, Tracy Martino, to talk about the importance for men to tap into their Heart Intelligence and the triggers that can make understanding our emotions so challenging. It’s Tracy’s mission to help people co-create relationships through alignment, connection, and trust.

“For men, I think it’s crucial for them to learn why it’s important to create a safe space to have difficult conversations and feel free to access their Heart Intelligence to have authentic conversations.” ~Tracy Martino

This is a compelling and wide-ranging discussion on the science of the brain, heart, and intuition and using them all to enhance trust, engagement, and communication.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Who/what is HeartMath?
  • What is coherence?
  • What is so vital about authenticity?
  • Conversational blindspots
  • What does creating a safe space mean?
  • What is conversational intelligence?
  • What are triggers?
  • The SCARF model (Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness)
  • How can we get more in touch with our heart?
  • What is the toll for men not being in touch with their hearts?

 


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“Heart Disease is #1 killer for men. It is rooted in men not coming from their heart center.” ~Tracy Martino

Tracy’s website ExecutiveReturn.com

Connect with Tracy on LinkedIn and Facebook.

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Real Men Feel with Tracy Martino

 

Real Men Feel: Episode 65, Real Men Can Feel Suicidal

Real Men Can Feel Suicidal Episode 65, August 18, 2017

Real Men Feel host Andy Grant goes solo again to share some personal insights as well as a few tools for dealing with depression and negative or suicidal thinking.

Andy opens up regarding some recent conversations, discoveries, admissions and rationalizations. He also shares three simple yet powerful tools that anyone can use to help deal with negative or suicidal thinking. The tools include pivoting, witnessing and expressing.

Life is meant to be simple and enjoyed. Make choices that result in you enjoying life more.

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Real Men Can Feel Depressed

Real Men Feel: Episode 64, Real Men Feel Disappointment in Themselves

Real Men Feel Disappointment in Themselves Episode 64, August 15, 2017

Real Men Feel returns after 9 weeks with Andy Grant going solo to explain where he’s been.

Real men feel lost, alone, desperate, apathetic, and everything else. Real men feel like shit. Real men can feel like they are not real. They can question whether they are men. Real men feel – or can feel  – disappointed in themselves. I know all this is true, because that is how I’ve been feeling for many months.~ Andy Grant

Andy comes up for air after trying to overdose on apathy and attempts to explain the feelings of disappointment that can lead to attraction of his own demise.

If you’ve listened to this episode, here is a bit of closure to some of what Andy shared.
On July 3rd we were told my dad had days to weeks to live and my wife and I decided we couldn’t sell our home and deal with that at the same time. Especially since moving into my dad’s home for his last few months to care for him was one possible landing spot for us, so we pulled our house off the market.
And Sadie is okay, she’s on medication and has had seizures once since the original night. We’ve learned dog’s having seizures is much more common than we knew.

Andy’s earlier related posts: Sharing From My Low Point and Dealing with a Dad with Dementia.

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Photo by whoislimos on Unsplash

Photo by whoislimos on Unsplash

Real Men Feel: Episode 62, The Challenge of Intimacy with Rev. Jody Bailey

Real Men Feel: Intimacy

The Challenge of Intimacy with Rev. Jody Bailey, Episode 62, May 30, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by speaker, author and coach, Rev. Jody Bailey, to help men embrace intimacy and tap into their core life force energy for health, wealth and happiness.

We explore what intimacy is. That it is different from sexuality, and all the areas of life intimacy shows up in. Jody shares some of the most common challenges men have to intimacy which include social conditioning and fear. The fear of intimacy is much bigger than the fear of sex.

Authenticity is beautiful. Vulnerability is attractive. 

Jody also shares a great exercise to develop more self-love by standing naked in front of a mirror. Appio has done this and talks about his experience. 

Connect with Rev Jody on Facebook: facebook.com/jodyspeaksinc

See her The Erotic Life blog and The Erotic Life Podcast.

Check out the hi device, Jody mentioned.

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Real Men Feel: Episode 55, What’s the Story Behind Middle-Age Men and Suicide?

Real Men Feel show

What’s the Story Behind Middle-Age Men and Suicide? with Franklin Cook, Episode 55, April 11, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant is joined by MassMen.org Outreach Director and Grief Coach, Franklin Cook, to discuss the implications of an expert report, “Preventing Suicide among Men in the Middle Years.”

Men in the middle years are defined as ages 35 – 64 and that group makes up 40% of the suicides in the United States. Andy and Franklin discuss some of the risk factors as well as some prevention techniques. Andy shares his personal experiences with suicidal thoughts and attempts.

“Feeling connected to one another is the most protective thing there is.” ~Franklin Cook

One challenge facing men is our very notion of masculinity. The traditional ideas of being independent, strong, and concealing our emotions can lead to men not seeking help for fear of seeming weak. Too many men are dying due to their belief of what being a man means. If your view of masculinity isn’t serving you, drop it and define a new one. It really is up to each of us.

“Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is ask for help.” ~Andy Grant

Andy’s wife, Lori, even joins us towards the end to share her take.

#RealMenFeel

See the SPRC’s full report – Preventing Suicide Among Men in the Middle Years.

Explore MassMen.org

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It’s Okay to be Human

It’s okay to have everything, but still want more.

It’s okay to spend years learning how to walk a spiritual path, but still display non-spiritual emotions when something knocks you off your path.

It’s okay to be enlightened, but still express strong opinions.

It’s okay to be calm, but still show anger.

It’s okay to be happy, but still feel sorrow.

It’s okay show courage, but still admit to being afraid.

It’s okay to love, but still feel hate.

Why?

It’s part of being human.

It’s what we signed up for.

This experience is what we wanted.

So, embrace the totality of who you are, even if you think you don’t know who you are yet… or even if you’re redefining what it means to be you.

It’s okay… because you’re here. Completely, fully here. Right now.

All of you.

Embrace your experience and love it.

Because it’s okay to be human.


About the Author

Appio Hunter, a.k.a. The Emotion Emancipator, is a personal development coach, energy worker, author, and inspirational speaker. He holds certifications as a Happiness Champion and Infinite Possibilities Trainer.

Appio is a self-described crusader for joy. His work blends multiple disciplines to show everyone how they can embrace their personal power and experience clarity, emotional freedom, balance, inner peace, and joy every day. He is also co-host of the weekly podcast Real Men Feel along with his good friend and fellow coach Andy Grant. You can learn more about Appio at AppioHunter.com.

Am I A Man?

Hi, I’m Andy and I’m a human male. That may be quite obvious when you see or hear me, but for a long time, I didn’t feel like a man. I questioned my manliness, my masculinity, and wondered why I never felt like a “real” man. I was sure if the true me was known that my mythical man card would be taken away.

I was an emotional child, a scared child who lived in dread of being picked on, pointed out, or even noticed. A hard look in my direction was often enough to bring on tears. I was anxious and on edge, which would eventually exhaust me into deep sadness and depression.

I was raised by a single mom, which made me feel like less of a man from the start. My mother always said I was such a good boy and somehow just knew what she wanted. I didn’t act out or get in trouble. This was in nursery and elementary school, my acting out came later.

I was afraid of being called on in school, not for getting an answer wrong, but for getting it right and being ostracized for being smart, or coming off as a teacher’s pet. I was afraid of being noticed on the playground. I was afraid of being made fun of at the bus stop. Without realizing it, fear ruled my life.

At the age of 20, while in a mental hospital, I remembered being molested by a neighbor when I was five years old. It was a bit of a relief to discover there was a reason for those years of not feeling safe. But it brought new worries and concerns: Since I was sexually abused by a man, was I gay? Since I was molested will I become a molester? Those fears and more played over and over in my head, but I never dared speak of them.

I thought real men were tough and stoic. So I pretended by being quiet, keeping to myself, and having few friends. I drank my way through high school and college—which seemed a very manly and accepted thing to do—but most nights, I ended up thinking my friends were just using me. I isolated myself in my room, under a bed, or literally in a closet on multiple occasions, crying.

This was no way to live, let alone being a man, so I tried to stop. I tried to stop living and attempted suicide multiple times in my teens and early 20s.

It was only years later that I began to see and respect my strengths: My resilience, my true toughness, my bravery and courage, my willingness and authenticity in feeling. I saw that the more I opened up and shared, the more others did too. My vulnerable risks were always rewarded. I began to think, maybe my willingness to feel is what really makes me a man? Hiding, resisting, and denying may appear to be traditional manliness but it is another aspect of fear.

What if the bravest thing you could do was cry? What if you felt strong enough to admit that you don’t have it all figured out? What if real men feel?

Originally published at GoodMenProject.com

***

About The Author
Andy GrantAndy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Akashic Records Reader and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Infinite Possibilities and Reiki, as well as other leadership programs and energy work modalities.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing, and is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. He also facilitates monthly men’s groups and is a contributor at the GoodMenProject. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we as human beings can feel, and he is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be. Learn more about Andy at TheAndyGrant.com

Real Men Feel: Episode 47, What I Learned About Men Working As An Escort with guest, Deva Logan

What I Learned About Men While Working As An Escort with Deva Logan, Episode 47, February 13, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined once again by the Vixen Goddess, Deva Logan, to share the top five things she learned about men while working as an escort. As a special Valentines Day treat, Deva also leads us through a masters class in oral sex.

If explicit language bothers you, stay away from this episode. If you are cool with it, and are ready to love that pussy and dick, enjoy!

“If men decided and accepted that there masculinity was established at birth and they could be whoever the fuck they wanted to be, life would be much easier.” Deva Logan

#RealMenFeel

Connect with Deva at Facebook.com/DevaLogan, Twitter @devathegoddess, and Instagram DevaTheGoddess

Catch Deva’s first appearance on Real Men Feel – Episode 44: Open Relationships

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