Category: Authenticity

Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 94, A Meeting of Minds on MGTOW

A Meeting of Minds on MGTOW Episode 94, May 15, 2018

This week writer and speaker, Anthony Simeone, returns to Real Men Feel to discuss the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) philosophy with a man who follows it. “Dan” emailed Real Men Feel after hearing Anthony’s prior appearance and requested the opportunity to counter much of what Anthony said about MGTOW, so here we are. Note: This conversation was recorded April 17, 2018

“Marriage is a bad joke. There are better ways to find happiness in life… our central focus is NOT a hatred of women.” ~Dan of MGTOW

The first time we heard of MGTOW was in a piece Anthony wrote earlier this year, Watch Out for Men ‘Goating Their Own Way’. Anthony confesses that he was trying to be provocative and poke at this ideology to garner a reaction. As was the case in the Real Men Feel conversation with MGTOW Universe, Dan was willing and able to step forward and share his experiences with MGTOW without needing to attack anyone.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Dan and Anthony both offer opening statements.
  • What is MGTOW really about?
  • What has the reaction been to Anthony’s posts and interviews?
  • Anthony’s biggest challenge with MGTOW.
  • Finding the middle ground for an open conversation.
  • Red Pill rage.
  • Love is a lie.
  • Is MGTOW saving men’s lives?
  • Is your view of MGTOW different than when you first encountered?

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“Because men are biased toward protecting women, women are biased towards protecting women, no one cares about protecting men.” ~Dan of MGTOW

Watch a video Dan recommends comparing falling in love to smoking crack.

See Andy’s wrap of his MGTOW interaction, Man or Mangina?

Check out Anthony’s writing on GoodMenProject.com

You can learn more about Anthony and his work at livethehero.com.

Explore more on MGTOW at mgtow.com

#RealMenFeel

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RMF - MGTOW Debate

 

Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 93, Highly Sensitive Men with Rick Belden

Highly Sensitive Men with Rick Belden Episode 93, May 8, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined once again by author, poet, artist, and coach, Rick Belden, to discuss defining masculinity and finding wholeness if you are a Highly Sensitive Man. Rich first wrote about being a highly sensitive man 4 1/2 years ago in a post that has been shared over 2,000 times.

“Sensitivity in men is not generally encouraged or valued in our society.” ~Rick Belden

Being a highly sensitive person (HSP) is not a weakness or disorder. It is based on a personality trait called sensory processing sensitivity (SPS). High sensitivity has pros and cons. It is not a defect, and 1 in 5 men are highly sensitive.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What do you mean by a highly sensitive man?
  • Are there low sensitivity men too?
  • Sensitive to what?
  • What are the pros of being an HSP?
  • How was it growing up as highly sensitive?
  • How do you embrace your sensitivity?
  • When did you know you were highly sensitive?
  • How does this relate to introverts and extroverts?
  • Do highly sensitive men try to alter there sensitivity?
  • The importance of boundaries.
  • Do you think it is easier or more difficult to grow up a sensitive man today?
  • What can be done about being a highly sensitive man?

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“You need to be strong to be a highly sensitive man in our culture.” ~Rick Belden

To learn more about yourself as a highly sensitive person, or the 1 in 5 people in your life who are highly sensitive, check out Dr. Aron’s book and the HSP Self-Test.

Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) Self-Test:

You can learn more about Rick’s Coaching for Men at RickBeldenCoaching.com

Check out Rick’s first appearance on Real Men Feel.

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Feel with Rick Belden

 

Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 92, Is Life Simple or Hard?

Is Life Simple or Hard? Episode 92, May 1, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter engage in a lively discussion with Jan Darwin Hutchins, the founder of The Men School, on whether life is simple or hard, and what can be done to make the hard parts easier. Jan was on the show back in February talking about The Men School and divine masculinity. During that show, he stated something that didn’t sit well with Andy.

“The problem with life is there is no end to the problems.” ~Jan Darwin Hutchins

Jan was invited back to dig deeper into that idea because Andy saw it as a fatalistic and depressing worldview. The result was an upbeat, philosophical conversation with lots of practical advice. Life isn’t this or that; it is everything. Life is the grey area; the journey, not the destination.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Is life simple?
  • Is life hard?
  • Is it both?
  • Offsetting the suffering
  • Black and white thinking
  • Expectations and stories
  • Truth and authenticity
  • A very high-level spin on Buddhism
  • Jordan Peterson
  • Power of breath
  • Why Andy stopped trying to die
  • The constant state of change
  • Doing what you can do, want to do, and should do
  • What is one tip for a man struggling with life’s challenges?

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We live in a world of problems. How we deal with them is the key to how we feel about our lives.

Most of what we believe is not true. They are shared beliefs, or stories, serving as group distractions. They can keep us stuck or empower us.

“Joy by itself isn’t very much fun. There needs to be a Point B to add juice to life. Joy and happiness are a fortunate happening during a day or a life.” – Jan Darwin Hutchins

All three men give tips for men in the depths of life feeling like shit.

Check out Robert Johnson’s books:
We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love
He: Understanding Masculine Psychology
She: Understanding Feminine Psychology

Join The Men School on Facebook

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Feel with Jan Darwin Hutchins

 

Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 89, Exploring Father Wounds and Mother Wounds with Rick Belden

Exploring Father Wounds and Mother Wounds with Rick Belden Episode 89, April 10, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author, poet, artist, and coach, Rick Belden, to discuss men and difficult relationships with their fathers (Father Wound) or mothers (Mother Wound).

“It is an iterative process. The wound and the healing. Both are in layers.” ~Rick Belden

A Father Wound or Mother Wound may be thought of as injury to the psyche of a child resulting from significant dysfunction or disruption in relationship with a parent. In some cases, it is the result of a parent’s absence or unavailability due to death, illness, adoption, or other circumstances that dramatically separate the child from the parent. But more typically, a Father Wound or Mother Wound is a complex of injuries to the child’s psyche received over many years, often as a result of the parent acting, consciously or not, out of his or her own woundedness.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What first got you first with men’s work?
  • What do you mean by father wound and mother wound?
  • Is one more prevalent than the other?
  • How do these wounds impact men?
  • Do all men have these wounds?
  • How did you get involved with poetry?
  • Is there a particular process for healing such wounds?
  • Tips on mindfulness and journaling.
  • The benefits Rick has experienced from being part of men’s groups.
  • The great example of a Father Wound found in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade.
  • We realized after the show that Ordinary People is a great movie to see a Mother Wound.

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“There are not nearly enough groups for men. Our culture would be transformed if any man could easily walk into a men’s group.” ~Rick Belden

You know you’re making headway when you can see your parents as individuals, not just as your parents. They are separate individuals with flaws, goals, motivations… they are human.

So much of this work is grief work. The entry is often anger, but getting into the grief of your childhood is the deepest work.

Check out Rick’s first book of poetry: Iron Man Family Outing: Poems about Transition into a More Conscious Manhood

You can learn more about Rick’s Coaching for Men at RickBeldenCoaching.com

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Feel with Rick Belden

 

Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 88, Masculine Emotional Intelligence is Not an Oxymoron with Owen Marcus

Masculine Emotional Intelligence is Not an Oxymoron with Owen Marcus Episode 88, April 3, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author, speaker, and coach, Owen Marcus, to talk about men and emotions, men’s groups, and other tools for men to build remarkable lives. Men are leaving behind the duality of being macho OR sensitive. It doesn’t have to be either/or.

“What holds us back from being Remarkable is how we matured as men.” ~Owen Marcus

Owen shares his experience with 20 years of men’s groups up to his current venture, EvryMan.co, which is out to engage more men with the power of brotherhood, authenticity, and vulnerability. There are a connection and relief that happens when a man discovers he is no more messed up than every other man.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What got you first involved with men’s work?
  • Why do so many men struggle emotionally?
  • What was your experience with the first meeting of your first men’s group?
  • What is masculine emotional intelligence?
  • What made you such a fan of Men’s Groups?
  • How men’s groups are saving lives.
  • What is the ultimate goal for EvryMan.co?
  • Owen’s TEDx Talk  –What 10,000 Years Of Progress Has Cost
  • Owen’s #1 tip for any man feel isolated and stuck.

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“As men we aren’t bad or broken… we never were taught what we needed to become the Remarkable Men – that we want to be.” ~Owen Marcus

Most men were never taught how to feel. They were told not to feel. They’ve become disconnected from their intuition and emotions. Unfortunately for many men, they won’t reach out until their pain is greater than their fear.

Grab Owen’s book: Grow Up: A Man’s Guide to Masculine Emotional Intelligence™ – the 9 Steps to releasing the Remarkable Man within You
#RealMenFeel

You can learn more about Owen at OwenMarcus.com
Look for a men’s group near you at EvryMan.co

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Real Men Feel with Owen Marcus

 

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 87, Moving to UnHidden from Hidden with Robert Kandell

Moving to UnHidden from Hidden with Robert Kandell Episode 87, March 27, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by coach, podcast host, and author, Robert Kandell, to talk about the gap in communication between men and women, the facades we wear, and how we can be less hidden in all of our relationships.

Robert shares a lot of knowledge and stories as he talks about his twenty-year journey to being an amazing person. Today, men don’t know who to be. Many are giving up instead of upping their game. And women are noticing.

“All genders co-created the current situation. Women are as reasonable for patriarchy as men.” ~Robert Kandell

The world is opening for women, but shrinking for men. Robert sees the Millennials as changing the dynamics of gender, dating, communication and more. It will take a generation before it settles down.

Topics Covered Include:

  • You’ve worked as a business coach and a life coach – how different is that?
  • What was your path into doing this sort of work?
  • The struggle of the nice guy.
  • Being numb and dumb for 28 years.
  • What makes it a tough time to be a man?
  • Are there role models for being a good man today?
  • What does the future of gender look like to you?
  • What is living “unHidden?”
  • Robert’s most unpopular opinion.
  • The power of 100% honesty in relationships.
  • What sort of topics do you cover in your Tuff Love podcast?
  • The notion of “hungry ghosts.”

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“Men are dumb and women are angry.” ~Robert Kandell

Some of the great books Robert mentioned:
No More Mr. Nice Guy
The General Theory of Love
Man, Interrupted
War Against Boys

His own unHidden: A Book For Men and those confused by them is expected to be released in November, 2018.

#RealMenFeel

You can learn more about Robert at RobertKandell.com

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Real Men Feel - Robert Kandell

 

Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 86, Having a Positive Relationship with Your Ex-wife

Having a Positive Relationship with Your Ex-wife with Al DeLuise Episode 86, March 20, 2018

This week Andy Grant is visited by writer, Al DeLuise, for a hilarious conversation about choosing to create a positive experience following a divorce. People can get divorced without wanting to kill each other.

Al has been writing humorous essays, which are often about him and his ex-wife, Arlene, since 2012. His writing about her often bothers other people much more than it does her. In fact, Al runs every article by Arlene first, and she’ll even remind of things to include. Despite that, one reader compared him to Hitler.

“Take the opportunity to calm down… There is no reason to go through hell.” ~Al DeLuise

Al says he’s getting along better with his ex-wife than his parents did while they were married. Having a good divorce is possible for anyone. It takes a conscious decision.

Topics Covered Include:

  • A life of nothing but conflict and scotch.
  • How his blog with Huffington Post started.
  • Have you always written comedic pieces?
  • Ex-wife approves everything written about her.
  • I’m not making fun of her.
  • Has she ever said, No – you can’t write about that?
  • Is it possible to have a positive divorce?
  • What do your kids think about the articles?
  • Mingling with Clooney and Pacino.
  • Being huge in Norway.
  • What article has gotten the biggest response?
  • What was the most surprising reaction?
  • Watch Al discover how Zoom works.

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Some of the specific pieces mentioned on the show:
Driving Miss Crazy
The Day I Got Engaged the Universe Was Trying to Tell Me Something
What I Learned About My Ex-Wife After My Daughter’s College Graduation

#RealMenFeel

Check out Al on GoodMenProject.com

You can learn more about Al at ConflictAndScotch.com.

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Real Men Feel: Al DeLuise

Conflict & Scotch

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 85, Men Going Their Own Way

Men Going Their Own Way Episode 85, March 13, 2018

This week Andy Grant is visited by writer and speaker, Anthony Simeone, to discuss the MGTOW movement, toxic masculinity, and the notion that women are evil.

“Guys, we need to stop blaming women for our problems.” ~Anthony Simeone

The first time we heard of MGTOW was in a piece Anthony wrote a few weeks ago that got a lot of comments, Watch Out for Men ‘Goating Their Own Way.’ Anthony Simeone has over two decades of experience in the practical application of literature, philosophy, psychology, and other disciplines. The culmination of his work is the Live the Hero concept, which he offers as a “life path” for use in overcoming obstacles. Live the Hero combines the wisdom found in the arts and humanities with the latest discoveries related to modern neuroscience.

Heroism is inherent to the human condition. Looking out for each other, cooperating is heroism. It comes out of self-preservation but adds altruism and empathy

Topics Covered Include:

  • What is the MGTOW movement?
  • Is masculinity toxic?
  • What is meant by the term “toxic-masculinity?”
  • Are women evil?
  • The dangers of scapegoating.
  • What drives our quest for certainty?
  • What got you into these explorations of masculinity?
  • What do you mean by The Heroic Man?
  • Why men are becoming killers.

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What IS toxic is the “programming” men are receiving, skewing their perceptions of the world towards cynicism, loneliness, and violence (both physical and mental). It’s time to turn the conversation around to what’s virtuous, honorable, and positive about men. ~Anthony Simeone

Explore How You Can Become a Non-Toxic Man.

#RealMenFeel

Check out Anthony on GoodMenProject.com

You can learn more about Anthony and his work at livethehero.com.

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Real Men Feel with Anthony Simeone

 

Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 84, Raising the Level of Consciousness via Epic Conversations

Epic Conversations with Dr. Vibe Episode 84, March 6, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by Dr. Vibe, The Prime Minister of Pertinent Information, Connector, Producer and Host of the award-winning The Dr. Vibe Show™ to talk about men, deep conversations and changing the world for the better.

“Failure is not a person it is a moment.” ~Dr. Vibe

Dr. Vibe is a self-taught online whiz. With no formal training in coding or broadcasting, Dr. Vibe has become Canada’s Prince of Podcast. He dominates the Internet when it comes to hosting intelligent, entertaining conversations on race and gender.

Dr. Vibe has been the host and producer of his online show The Dr. Vibe Show™ for the last decade. He has done over 1000 interviews with people from all over the world. He has gotten into the minds of Black powerhouses such as: Canadian football great Michael “Pinball” Clemons, Canadian Senator Don Meredith, ESPN Radio’s Freddie Coleman, actress and producer Robin Givens and MSNBC & CNN Education Contributor, Dr. Steve Perry. His main mission is to peel back the layers of the mainstream media’s construct around Black males, to reveal the positivity that is often clouded.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Why did you start your podcast?
  • You are “demolishing the digital divide and raising the level of consciousness” – How are you doing that?
  • What are your favorite conversation subjects?
  • Have you always been a natural communicator?
  • Do black men and white men have different views on masculinity?
  • What are some great topics for future conversations?
  • What are some of the most consistent issues you are seeing across men?
  • What is the role of men today?
  • Tips on finding your purpose.
  • What should the role of men be?
  • How man and women deal with change.
  • Dr. Vibe issues a challenge to listeners.

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Dr. Vibes favorite thing to hear during one of his conversations is, “No ones ever asked me that before.”

See Andy’s appearance on The Dr. Vibe Show.

Dr. Vibe encourages everyone to listen more and judge less, and also to be of service in some way. He believes one big thing missing from most men’s lives is having another man that they can say anything to.

#RealMenFeel

Learn more about Dr. Vibe at TheDrVibeShow.com

Check out Dr. Vibe on GoodMenProject.com

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Real Men Feel with Dr. Vibe

 

Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 79, Exploring The Men School

Exploring The Men School with Jan Darwin Hutchins Episode 79, February 6, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter discover the path to the creation of The Men School, a school dedicated to cultivating the divine masculine in all of us with Jan Darwin Hutchins.

“Why, after having been a lone wolf all my life, did I feel so alone?” ~Jan Darwin Hutchins

Jan was successful at a young age, living the dream as a TV sports anchor, yet he felt rather empty. In his 50s he realized he had made no real friends over his life. An experience witnessing the support a dying friend received from a men’s group made him realize he was not alone and that he could trust other men. He discovered there was an initiation he could do to become one of those men. Jan did it and confirmed that he was not alone, didn’t need to be alone and could trust men.

“The problem with life is there is no end to the problems.”

Topics Covered Include:

  • Jan’s background including TV news, politics, yoga and more.
  • What lead to the creation of The Men School?
  • The masks we all wear.
  • The need for and benefits of doing the inner work.
  • The power of men’s groups.
  • The current state of The Men’s School and plans for the future.
  • Do we ever graduate from Men School?
  • Jan shares some research on wolves in Yellowstone.
  • OKness and presence.
  • The MankindProject
  • How does a man find his truth?
  • Is life simple or hard?

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All three men answer the question: If there was one thing you could teach or make all men aware of, what would it be?

TheMenSchool
“We are a learning community cultivating the sacred deep masculine in us all.”
As social animals, we require a source of stabilization from outside ourselves. Our shared connections and, co-corrections, literally keep us sane.

TheMenSchool is here to:
—keep learning to model the divine masculine
—see you excel in your individual life

When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time.~Byron Katie

Check out Robert Johnson’s book, We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love
Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

#RealMenFeel

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