Thinking I Want to Die Episode 262, July 15, 2022
WARNING: This episode discusses suicidal thoughts and attempts.
If you are in a crisis, do not listen to this. Please call or text 988 to be connected to trained counselors that are part of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline network. https://988lifeline.org
If you are outside of the US, please search for suicide prevention in your country.
You matter! Please choose life.
In recent years I’ve become more careful in how I refer to my own suicidal thoughts and actions. Instead of saying I wanted to die, I say I believed I wanted to die, or I thought I wanted to die. Because what I really wanted was to feel good. To not feel broken, hopeless, and helpless.
I wanted my misery to end, not my life, but at times I saw them both as the same thing. I have to choose the light, joy, and life multiple times a day. I used to think that was horrible, but maybe it’s just life.
There are many times that life isn’t easy, but that never means it isn’t worth living.
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