The Evolution of A Man Episode 207, October 13, 2020
Coach, trainer, and speaker, Bob Minhas, joins us to discuss losing your identity and redefining masculinity in the aftermath of divorce and business loss.
“My masculinity was defined by my ability to provide, and now that was gone.” ~ Bob Minhas
When you build your identity as a businessman, and that ends, who are you? If you see yourself as a married father of three, what does divorce do to your identity and masculinity? Are you still a father? Bob opens up about projecting what he feared his kids thought of him onto them, and the catalyst that thinking about his daughter seeking someone like him for her husband did for his inspiration to become the Bob he’s always wanted to be.
We also explore the peer pressure among men to take an adversarial role in a divorce, and how you can grow up with a very traditional view of what it means to be a man, even when being raised by a single mom.
Bob shares what he finds is the number one factor that kills businesses and the top thing you need for a successful business: you need to love what you do. He’ll also teach about askholes and friendectomies.
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Highlights Include:
- (1:49) Were you born an expert?
- (3:13) When you were living the traditional roles, did it ever feel fulfilling?
- (4:14) Was the divorce a big surprise?
- (7:10) Did you think you had all the pieces for a perfect life in place?
- (10:00) How important is loving what you do in your business?
- (11:15) Was the divorce a challenge to your masculinity, to your identity?
- (13:30) How did you define masculinity?
- (16:14) Questioning your identity as a father.
- (23:56) Your kids are experts on you.
- (26:38 )How do you define masculinity now?
- (36:30) Why is authenticity important?
- (41:28) The next iteration; rebuilding Bob and losing it all again.
- (52:26) Is everybody an expert in something?
- (54:02) Tell me about Askholes.
- (58:39) What is one thing you wish more men knew?
“Unconditional love for what you do is what gets you through any challenges that come up.” ~ Bob Minhas
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Check out the books mentioned, Modern Love, The Purse Strings Effect, and The Four Agreements.
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