The Power of Men Helping Men Episode 204, September 22, 2020
Founder and facilitator of MensGroup.com, Sean Galla, joins us to talk about the importance of male companionship and meaningful conversation.
“A lot of guys are just terrified of being ridiculed. Terrified of being seen as weak.” ~ Sean Galla
Sean recognized a need in his life for a place to talk with other men about adversities he was facing. He missed the locker room vibe of team sports where real talk could happen. So ten years ago, he created a Facebook group, threw some friends into it, and discovered men all over the place longed for the same thing, a place to talk about the sensitive matters in their lives.
So many fears take root in us from being ridiculed as children. Men end up concerned about anything seen as weakness, sensitivity, or vulnerability. Many guys seem willing to only present aspects of themselves that they are confident won’t be made fun of or put down. Sean’s personal virtual group morphed into adventure trips combined with men’s work, that became a business, and eventually grew into MensGroup.com.
Sean Galla is out to make men’s group far more approachable. It is more about meaningful conversations than spirituality, rituals, or ceremonies, things that can make it more intimidating to men. He covers some of the many reasons guys seek a men’s group and the top three benefits they notice. We also discuss the problem of isolation for men, the relief from realizing you are not alone, and tips for making new friends.
Grab the Real Men Feel Guide to Friendship for a list of places you can meet more male friends and get on the Real Men Feel weekly newsletter.
Topics and Questions Include:
- (1:42) How did your interest in men’s groups develop? Did you grow up taking comfort in a circle of friends?
- (3:25) What makes men less likely to talk openly and share with friends than women?
- (5:24) What made you want to share men’s groups with more guys?
- (8:52) Does the competitive nature of men help us want to be open once we see someone else sharing?
- (10:55) Creating groups that are structured but casual.
- (12:11) What still has men resistant to joining a men’s group?
- (13:09) Andy shares about the fear of being seen and judged.
- (13:47) What are some of the top benefits for a guy attending a men’s group?
- (17:10) How men’s group is different from therapy or reading a book.
- (17:55) Why do men struggle to make friends?
- (22:02) Toxic masculinity does not mean that men are the problem.
- (23:04) Unhappy people do unhappy things.
- (25:34) Often just being there, not doing anything, is all another man needs.
- (33:58) How do guys feel their feelings?
- (35:46) Taking things out on the ones you love.
- (37:12) There is something special about being in a group of men.
- (40:22) Feeling emotions in your body.
- (44:41) Men are allowed to be happy or angry.
- (45:41) Resistance to an emotional man.
- (46:43)What reinforces the notion that men are supposed to figure out their shit on their own?
- 49:40) Has all the “fuckupedness” of 2020 created an increase in men joining mensgroup.com?
- 50:38) Can you explain how your site works?
- 54:23) Pandemics aside, do you find that a virtual group can be as beneficial as men’s physical circles?
- 58:54) What are you looking forward to with mensgroup?
- 1:01:05) Besides the power of a men’s group, what is one thing you wish more men knew?
- (1:02:24) Where is the best way to learn more?
“I see that unhappy people do unhappy things.” ~ Sean Galla
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