Emotions and Sex Episode 187, May 19, 2020
Author and coach, AJ “Big Al” Alfaro, visits to discuss that many men attempt to divorce their emotions from sex, thinking that will improve their sex life. In actuality, integrating emotions and sex will lead to the best experience for you and your partner.
“The simple fact of the matter is that the best lovemaking you’re ever going to have is when you allow yourself to become emotionally unencumbered.” ~ AJ “Big Al” Alfaro
AJ “Big Al” Alfaro is a recognized leader in the male enhancement industry. For more than 20 years, he’s helped men in an area where they are often uncomfortable seeking help. He has excellent insight into what he calls “the dark side of male enhancement,” the notion of sexual conquest, and attempting to remove emotions from the equation entirely.
Men need to realize they are more than their penis and that emotions are part of being human. Years of being focused solely on bedding more women leads to a lack of fulfillment and sadness for most people. It takes courage to be willing to feel, and personal growth comes from being open to the possibility of failure.
Attempting to hide or remove emotions from anything, ensures there are deeper underlying issues. There really are no positive or negative emotions, as they all give us information and feedback.
Topics and Questions Include:
- (1:40) How are things going for you through the pandemic?
- (3:37) The importance of emotions in sex.
- (7:28) Attempting to remove emotions from anything always ends up hiding some harrowing emotional issues.
- (9:00) It takes courage to feel.
- (10:37) Is the game of sexual conquest just a phase, or are some guys truly satisfied by that?
- (12:24) In the men you’ve talked to, has there been an experience where their vulnerability was met harshly?
- (15:51) Wanting to have sex with everyone.
- (16:35) Valuing yourself.
- (18:47) What is the reaction to sharing this with younger men?
- (19:44) Teaching self-mastery.
- (24:27) What goes into the programming of men to have sex as much as they can?
- (25:57) What leads to a man realizing this isn’t working for them?
- (27:47) What is the path after realizing the sexual conquest game isn’t working for you?
- (29:10) The flip side: what women think when a man doesn’t want to go to bed with them immediately.
- (30:55) Men discovering they aren’t happy.
- (34:36) The opportunity to get honest about what’s important to you that the pandemic offers people.
- (38:04) Things to be learned at our low points.
- (40:18) Be willing to ask; what am I afraid of?
- (43:56) All emotions serve us.
- (45:51) How do you respond to guys who’ve given up?
- (51:25) The power of candid conversations.
- (52:42) Where to connect with Al.
“Emotions define our experience and teach us, but we don’t have to be a slave to them.” ~ AJ “Big Al” Alfaro
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