Real Men Feel: Ep. 91, Conscious Sexuality and Sexual Healing

Conscious Sexuality and Sexual Healing Episode 91, April 24, 2018

This week Andy Grant is joined by writer, podcaster, and coach, Jonti Searll, from South Africa. He has been working in the field of Conscious Sexuality for almost 20 years, creating healing processes, workshops and material that has helped many people create fulfilling experiences and relationships. Jonti shares his journey from aspiring Rabbi to sexuality coach in a very conservative society.

“Orgasm is a trap for men. That creates sex that is performance-based, not pleasure based.” ~Jonti Searll

Orgasms are wonderful, but that is not all there is. We can create possibilities for pleasure, in relationships, in health and all aspects of life. We can access and use our sexual energy as a force for healing, growth, meditation, creativity, and change. Our sexuality connects to all aspects of ourselves and our lives. As we remove our sexual blockages and allow more of that energy to flow, we allow all other energies to flow as we become more conscious, more connected and more alive.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Tell about your podcast, SexTalk.
  • What is Conscious Sexuality?
  • How did you first get involved with this?
  • Jonti’s creative process.
  • Is South Africa an open and inviting country for this sort of work?
  • Is sexuality more than sex?
  • What is our Sexual Energy?
  • What are some examples of sexual healing?
  • How do you see porn impacting sexuality?
  • What sort of workshops and events do you lead?
  • What is loving touch?
  • Do men touch enough?
  • The top six things people want in communication.

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“Porn and chick flicks are both fantasy worlds.” ~Jonti Searll

Most men have a friction-based goal for sex. The goal should be pleasure.

See the post that first caught Andy’s eye – Loving Men.

Our sexuality is linked to all of who we are; our sexual energy is our life-force. Releasing the blockages we’ve created and freeing ourselves from the limitations of the past allows us to create lives, relationships, and experiences of incredible beauty.

Our sexual energy is a force for not only personal transformation but has the power to be used to change our world. This is Jonti’s mission.

Learn more about Jonti at ErosLife.co.za.
Check out his SexTalk Podcast.
Connect with Jonti on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube.

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Real Men Feel with Jonti Searll

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 90, What is MGTOW?

What is MGTOW? with MGTOW Universe Episode 90, April 17, 2018

This week Andy Grant is joined by a man who goes by the name, “MGTOW Universe,” to share his thoughts on what MGTOW is and isn’t. If you aren’t familiar with the term, MGTOW stands for Men Going Their Own Way. This show is a follow up to Men Going Their Own Way with Anthony Simeone, which we did last month and got lots of comments on YouTube and Soundcloud. Even though most of them simply attacked and called me names, Real Men Feel did find some men we could engage with.

“To be a man today, when communicating with women, is extremely dangerous. It can destroy you.” ~MGTOW Universe

After hearing that MGTOW was a group of angry men who hate women and blame them for everything, Andy was eager to have a conversation with someone involved in MGTOW. At the core, MGTOW is concerned with male disposability and believes that society doesn’t care about men and that women are not held accountable. They think that any man who looks at the pros and cons of being in a relationship with a woman, removing all emotion, will see the sane and obvious choice is not to get involved.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What is MGTOW?
  • How did you first get involved with it?
  • Why do you hide your identity?
  • Do you speak for yourself or are you representing MGTOW?
  • Is there a leader or founder?
  • What is the goal of MGTOW?
  • Is this good for society?
  • This seems like a very defensive stance, why?
  • Is this an asexual or homosexual lifestyle?
  • What is your definition of feminism?
  • What would it take for you to believe that society cares about men?

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“We offer men and boys a world of traps. Most men will get fucked.” ~MGTOW Universe

MGTOW U says that we’ve been conditioned to believe that marriage is fulfilling, but emotions change — it is just too risky. Every relationship ends and most end in court which is a system that is entirely biased against men.

Sadly, MGTOWs don’t believe any of the problems they point out can be fixed, so they withdraw and “go their own way.” In the end, MGTOW struck Andy as an extremely pessimistic worldview, but he agreed with MU that society needs to listen to angry men; before it is too late.

See MGTOW Universe on YouTube, or connect with him on Twitter.

Other comments from MGTOWs:

it’s extremely clear that if a male can be happy as a single male..it is most prudent to adopt that as a life trait. If a male can be happy without any or any more children..it is most prudent to refrain from procreating.
And there you have the sum and total of the “MGTOW” mindset. It’s just Men with Feelings..who have certain Facts right.
For two generations we’ve raised girls to believe they don’t need men to be happy. Men go MGTOW and everyone loses their shit.
Here in mgtow we get attacked so much that the default position is defense.
Our goal is to help men find peace in a world that hates them.

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RMF with MGTOW Universe

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 89, Exploring Father Wounds and Mother Wounds with Rick Belden

Exploring Father Wounds and Mother Wounds with Rick Belden Episode 89, April 10, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author, poet, artist, and coach, Rick Belden, to discuss men and difficult relationships with their fathers (Father Wound) or mothers (Mother Wound).

“It is an iterative process. The wound and the healing. Both are in layers.” ~Rick Belden

A Father Wound or Mother Wound may be thought of as injury to the psyche of a child resulting from significant dysfunction or disruption in relationship with a parent. In some cases, it is the result of a parent’s absence or unavailability due to death, illness, adoption, or other circumstances that dramatically separate the child from the parent. But more typically, a Father Wound or Mother Wound is a complex of injuries to the child’s psyche received over many years, often as a result of the parent acting, consciously or not, out of his or her own woundedness.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What first got you first with men’s work?
  • What do you mean by father wound and mother wound?
  • Is one more prevalent than the other?
  • How do these wounds impact men?
  • Do all men have these wounds?
  • How did you get involved with poetry?
  • Is there a particular process for healing such wounds?
  • Tips on mindfulness and journaling.
  • The benefits Rick has experienced from being part of men’s groups.
  • The great example of a Father Wound found in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade.
  • We realized after the show that Ordinary People is a great movie to see a Mother Wound.

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“There are not nearly enough groups for men. Our culture would be transformed if any man could easily walk into a men’s group.” ~Rick Belden

You know you’re making headway when you can see your parents as individuals, not just as your parents. They are separate individuals with flaws, goals, motivations… they are human.

So much of this work is grief work. The entry is often anger, but getting into the grief of your childhood is the deepest work.

Check out Rick’s first book of poetry: Iron Man Family Outing: Poems about Transition into a More Conscious Manhood

You can learn more about Rick’s Coaching for Men at RickBeldenCoaching.com

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Real Men Feel with Rick Belden

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 88, Masculine Emotional Intelligence is Not an Oxymoron with Owen Marcus

Masculine Emotional Intelligence is Not an Oxymoron with Owen Marcus Episode 88, April 3, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author, speaker, and coach, Owen Marcus, to talk about men and emotions, men’s groups, and other tools for men to build remarkable lives. Men are leaving behind the duality of being macho OR sensitive. It doesn’t have to be either/or.

“What holds us back from being Remarkable is how we matured as men.” ~Owen Marcus

Owen shares his experience with 20 years of men’s groups up to his current venture, EvryMan.co, which is out to engage more men with the power of brotherhood, authenticity, and vulnerability. There are a connection and relief that happens when a man discovers he is no more messed up than every other man.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What got you first involved with men’s work?
  • Why do so many men struggle emotionally?
  • What was your experience with the first meeting of your first men’s group?
  • What is masculine emotional intelligence?
  • What made you such a fan of Men’s Groups?
  • How men’s groups are saving lives.
  • What is the ultimate goal for EvryMan.co?
  • Owen’s TEDx Talk  –What 10,000 Years Of Progress Has Cost
  • Owen’s #1 tip for any man feel isolated and stuck.

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“As men we aren’t bad or broken… we never were taught what we needed to become the Remarkable Men – that we want to be.” ~Owen Marcus

Most men were never taught how to feel. They were told not to feel. They’ve become disconnected from their intuition and emotions. Unfortunately for many men, they won’t reach out until their pain is greater than their fear.

Grab Owen’s book: Grow Up: A Man’s Guide to Masculine Emotional Intelligence™ – the 9 Steps to releasing the Remarkable Man within You
#RealMenFeel

You can learn more about Owen at OwenMarcus.com
Look for a men’s group near you at EvryMan.co

Show your support for Real Men Feel by shopping at realmenfeel.org/swag, or visit DigitalTipJar.com/realmenfeel

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Real Men Feel with Owen Marcus