Real Men Feel: Ep. 82, Dads Behaving Dadly

Dads Behaving Dadly with Hogan Hilling Episode 82, February 20, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author, Hogan Hilling, to discuss the shifting roles of fatherhood. Hilling is the author of the Dads Behaving Dadly series and also the founder of the #WeLoveDads Campaign and United We Parent.

“One of the biggest assumptions is that a guy is a stay-at-home dad as a last resort. That he had no choice.” ~Hogan Hilling

Hogan’s mission is to dispel the unfair stigma of dads as incompetent parents and more importantly prove Fatherhood Is Alive and Well! He loved being a full-time caregiver to his kids, but everyone around him kept telling him it was wrong. He got tired of defending himself and having to justify his choices in ways stay-at-home moms never have to.

“I haven’t lost any masculinity by staying home!”

Topics Covered Include:

  • The stigma stay-at-home dads face.
  • What assumptions are made about stay-at-home dads?
  • The one thing Hogan focuses on as a father.
  • “Coming out of the pantry.”
  • Dads are not replacements for moms.
  • The power and benefits of dad support groups.
  • The danger and splintering of so many parent support groups.
  • What are the dynamics for stepdads?
  • What does behaving “dadly” mean?
  • What is Hogan’s best advice for new dads?
  • #WeLoveDads campaign
  • Dad Marketing

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There is still a bias that moms are much better parents than dads. That dads are inept as caregivers and parents. That is why many men are still hesitant to come out of the pantry.

All parents need to drop the adjectives before their names: stay-at-home dad, working mom, gay dad, stepfather…follow the leads of your kids who only introduce you as dad.

Check out Hogan’s book, Dads Behaving Dadly: 67 Truths, Tears and Triumphs of Modern Fatherhood
See all of Hogan’s books

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Real Men Feel ep 82

Real Men Feel: Ep. 80, Spirituality or Religion; What’s the Difference?

Spiritual Path or Religious Path; What’s the Difference? Episode 80, February 13, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author and speaker, Kallen Diggs, to discuss our experiences with religion and spirituality. Are they the same thing? Hear first-hand adventures with numerous faiths including; Pentecostal, Mormonism, and even Scientology. Uh oh, wait just a minute – Kallen had major internet challenges and never made it to Real Men Feel, but the show must go on!

See Kallen’s post that prompted the conversation – Spirituality or Religion? How to Discover What’s Good for Your Soul

“It is not about the label. It is about nurturing the soul.” ~Kallen Diggs

Topics Covered Include:

  • Andy and Appio discuss their childhoods from a religious perspective.
  • Appio shares some of his experience with Mormonism.
  • Andy talks about his brief time in Scientology.
  • Why are more people calling themselves spiritual instead of religious?
  • What stands out as moments of “awakening?”
  • Appio touches on conversion therapy.
  • Anything you do now that you thought was total BS years ago?
  • Can you see yourself returning to organized religion?

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There is no single right or wrong path. Find the way that brings you the most joy and stick with it as long as that is true.

Is there any way you can root yourself more in the realm of love?
As traditional religions got more organized and gained more control, they’ve moved away from the love they were rooted in and more into fear.

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” ~ Meister Eckhart

 

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 79, Exploring The Men School

Exploring The Men School with Jan Darwin Hutchins Episode 79, February 6, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter discover the path to the creation of The Men School, a school dedicated to cultivating the divine masculine in all of us with Jan Darwin Hutchins.

“Why, after having been a lone wolf all my life, did I feel so alone?” ~Jan Darwin Hutchins

Jan was successful at a young age, living the dream as a TV sports anchor, yet he felt rather empty. In his 50s he realized he had made no real friends over his life. An experience witnessing the support a dying friend received from a men’s group made him realize he was not alone and that he could trust other men. He discovered there was an initiation he could do to become one of those men. Jan did it and confirmed that he was not alone, didn’t need to be alone and could trust men.

“The problem with life is there is no end to the problems.”

Topics Covered Include:

  • Jan’s background including TV news, politics, yoga and more.
  • What lead to the creation of The Men School?
  • The masks we all wear.
  • The need for and benefits of doing the inner work.
  • The power of men’s groups.
  • The current state of The Men’s School and plans for the future.
  • Do we ever graduate from Men School?
  • Jan shares some research on wolves in Yellowstone.
  • OKness and presence.
  • The MankindProject
  • How does a man find his truth?
  • Is life simple or hard?

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All three men answer the question: If there was one thing you could teach or make all men aware of, what would it be?

TheMenSchool
“We are a learning community cultivating the sacred deep masculine in us all.”
As social animals, we require a source of stabilization from outside ourselves. Our shared connections and, co-corrections, literally keep us sane.

TheMenSchool is here to:
—keep learning to model the divine masculine
—see you excel in your individual life

When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time.~Byron Katie

Check out Robert Johnson’s book, We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love
Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 77, Celebrating Masculine Power

Celebrating Masculine Power Episode 77, January 23, 2018

At a time when masculinity seems under attack, it is important to remember that good men owning their power can be a fantastic positive force for everyone. This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by fulfillment coach and speaker, Sean-Patrick Maher, to discuss how men can embrace their power and create deeper connections with themselves and others.

A key to men owning their power is operating more from their heart and less from their head.

The conversation begins with Andy sharing that he blew off Sean-Patrick last year, but that he was impressed by Sean-Patrick’s reaction and was eager to get him on the show once Real Men Feel was flowing again. The interaction was a great example of men communication with openness and honesty.

“Being grounded, heart-centered, and connected to all parts of myself is the greatest gift I can give to the world.” ~Sean-Patrick Maher

Topics Covered Include:

  • Authenticity and integrity
  • The fear of showing up in our full “manness” today
  • The importance of operating from the heart over the head
  • Awareness
  • How to get into your heart
  • What Sean-Patrick was taught about being a man
  • What being an integrated man means
  • The Heart-Math Institute
  • Toxic masculinity and the fear that all expression of masculinity is labeled “toxic”
  • The power and problems of labels
  • The MankindProject

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Masculine energy is not only domination and patriarchy. That is a distorted aspect of masculine energy. An excellent discussion unfolded on labels, language, masculine/feminine, and mindset. Allowing ourselves and others to flow on a spectrum of labels can be liberating, but if we ever think we ARE the label, that brings trouble.

Being an integrated man, allowing full access to our femininity and seeing the strength of our masculinity as equally beautiful and powerful is the sweet spot.

“Let our hearts be the laison for everything entering and exiting our field.” ~Sean-Patrick Maher

Check out Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

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Learn more about Sean-Patrick at SeanPatrickMaher.com

More on this theme – You’ve Got a Goddess Inside You, Chuck!

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Follow your heart


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Real Men Feel: Episode 52, Awakened Journeys for Men with Jonathan Hermida

Real Men Feel

Awakened Journeys for Men with Jonathan Hermida, Episode 52, March 21, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by Men’s transformational coach, Jonathan Hermida, to discuss transformative adventures for men and share his own journey of awakening. A journey that took him from feeling insecure and uncomfortable in his own skin to being a globe-trotting coach, willing to drop the destructive mask of masculinity. Listen and learn about a fantastic opportunity to visit Machu Picchu, Peru as well!

“The mask of masculinity is a most destructive force for guys. We are preening peacocks, but crumbling inside.” ~ Jonathan Hermida

Jonathan’s recommended book, The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer

Learn more about The Awakening Man: Journey Through the Sacred Valley trip to Peru this August.

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Real Men Feel: Episode 49, Empowering The Family Unit with Kirsty and James Greenshields

Real Men Feel with The Greenshields

Empowering The Family Unit with Kirsty and James Greenshields, Episode 49, February 28, 2017

On this episode of Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by Kirsty and James Greenshields to explore how you can empower your own family to make a positive effect on your community and the world.

Since 2009, Kirsty and James, founders of Resilient Leaders Foundation, have been assisting others to uncover their leadership potential. Between them, they’ve touched the lives of 1000’s of humans directly, and countless others, indirectly. Their vision is: “To provide young people with the tools and resources they need to positively impact humanity and create a better planet.”

The Greenshields share their own journeys along with the importance of personal resiliency and emotional literacy in improving families, communities and the globe.

#RealMenFeel

Connect with Kirsty and James at CentreForResiliantLeadership.com, Twitter @LeaderSoulShip, @YOUHealthWealth, and Facebook ResilientLeadersFoundation

Learn more about the Young Warrior Project

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Am I A Man?

Hi, I’m Andy and I’m a human male. That may be quite obvious when you see or hear me, but for a long time, I didn’t feel like a man. I questioned my manliness, my masculinity, and wondered why I never felt like a “real” man. I was sure if the true me was known that my mythical man card would be taken away.

I was an emotional child, a scared child who lived in dread of being picked on, pointed out, or even noticed. A hard look in my direction was often enough to bring on tears. I was anxious and on edge, which would eventually exhaust me into deep sadness and depression.

I was raised by a single mom, which made me feel like less of a man from the start. My mother always said I was such a good boy and somehow just knew what she wanted. I didn’t act out or get in trouble. This was in nursery and elementary school, my acting out came later.

I was afraid of being called on in school, not for getting an answer wrong, but for getting it right and being ostracized for being smart, or coming off as a teacher’s pet. I was afraid of being noticed on the playground. I was afraid of being made fun of at the bus stop. Without realizing it, fear ruled my life.

At the age of 20, while in a mental hospital, I remembered being molested by a neighbor when I was five years old. It was a bit of a relief to discover there was a reason for those years of not feeling safe. But it brought new worries and concerns: Since I was sexually abused by a man, was I gay? Since I was molested will I become a molester? Those fears and more played over and over in my head, but I never dared speak of them.

I thought real men were tough and stoic. So I pretended by being quiet, keeping to myself, and having few friends. I drank my way through high school and college—which seemed a very manly and accepted thing to do—but most nights, I ended up thinking my friends were just using me. I isolated myself in my room, under a bed, or literally in a closet on multiple occasions, crying.

This was no way to live, let alone being a man, so I tried to stop. I tried to stop living and attempted suicide multiple times in my teens and early 20s.

It was only years later that I began to see and respect my strengths: My resilience, my true toughness, my bravery and courage, my willingness and authenticity in feeling. I saw that the more I opened up and shared, the more others did too. My vulnerable risks were always rewarded. I began to think, maybe my willingness to feel is what really makes me a man? Hiding, resisting, and denying may appear to be traditional manliness but it is another aspect of fear.

What if the bravest thing you could do was cry? What if you felt strong enough to admit that you don’t have it all figured out? What if real men feel?

Originally published at GoodMenProject.com

***

About The Author
Andy GrantAndy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Akashic Records Reader and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Infinite Possibilities and Reiki, as well as other leadership programs and energy work modalities.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing, and is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. He also facilitates monthly men’s groups and is a contributor at the GoodMenProject. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we as human beings can feel, and he is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be. Learn more about Andy at TheAndyGrant.com

Real Men Feel: Episode 46, The Evolved Masculine with guest, Destin Gerek

Real Men Feel - Destin Gerek

The Evolved Masculine with Destin Gerek, Episode 46, February 7, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by Destin Gerek to talk about the archetype of the Evolved Masculine, what it means and making a positive impact on the world. We also delve into the notion of toxic masculinity, the power of experience, that Trump guy, the need to hold up what is right not only call out what is wrong, and much more.

Destin shares some of his own journey, including the realization that the version of masculinity shown to him while growing up wasn’t for him, and his time living the Erotic Rockstar life.

Destin calls on all good men in the world to claim their fucking power! “The more I serve, the more I receive.”

#RealMenFeel

Check out the Evolved Masculine Blueprint

Connect with Destin on Facebook.

Tune in to Destin’s show The Evolved Masculine: Redefining Sex, Power & Success – Destin Gerek

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This week’s recommend book – The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 40, The Modern Mystery School with Jordan Bain

Real Men Feel show

The Modern Mystery School with Jordan Bain, Episode 40, December 20, 2016

On this episode of Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by ritual master, guide and healer, Jordan Bain, who delves into how The Modern Mystery School can serve both men and women in knowing ourselves better. Jordan shares the background of The Modern Mystery School lineage which goes back 3,000 years to the time of King Salomon and is the result of 30 years of efforts bringing together healers and teachers from around world.

The show touches on enlightenment, the split between science and spirituality, Jordan’s path of discovery, the calling for feminine creation and leadership, as well as Kabbalah.

Andy said one of the coolest things he’s done in 2016, was get initiated into The Modern Mystery School.

See Andy’s before and after Life Activation videos, as well as his video following Initiation.

#RealMenFeel
Learn more about Jordan at HealingBoston.com

Check out the Modern Mystery School main site.

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 32, New Warrior Training Adventure Report

Real Men Feel

New Warrior Training Adventure Weekend Report, Episode 32, October 25, 2016

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant shares his recent experience attending the ManKind Project’s New Warrior Training Adventure (NWTA) weekend. The short version is: Go do it!

Andy shares without giving spoilers and after attending 40, live, multi-day, personal growth events in the last eight years, the NWTA sits strongly in the top two. This is strong, deep, work that allowed Andy to never be more comfortable in his own skin and never to feel safer with a group of men. WARNING: Lots of open, honest, swear-filled talk this week.

Listen to our interview with the ManKind Project’s Boysen Hodgson, Episode 26, SEP 7, 2016

Learn more about the ManKind Project and their New Warrior Training Adventure at mankindproject.org

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See my “before” and “after” videos.

Below is my picture from the start of the weekend on the left, and the end of the weekend on the right, along with my animal name; Fun-Loving Chipmunk.

My beginning and ending photos

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