Real Men Feel: Episode 65, Real Men Can Feel Suicidal

Real Men Feel

Real Men Can Feel Suicidal Episode 65, August 18, 2017

Real Men Feel host Andy Grant goes solo again to share some personal insights as well as a few tools for dealing with depression and negative or suicidal thinking.

Andy opens up regarding some recent conversations, discoveries, admissions and rationalizations. He also shares three simple yet powerful tools that anyone can use to help deal with negative or suicidal thinking. The tools include pivoting, witnessing and expressing.

Life is meant to be simple and enjoyed. Make choices that result in you enjoying life more.

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Can Feel Depressed

Real Men Feel: Episode 64, Real Men Feel Disappointment in Themselves

Real Men Feel

Real Men Feel Disappointment in Themselves Episode 64, August 15, 2017

Real Men Feel returns after 9 weeks with Andy Grant going solo to explain where he’s been.

Real men feel lost, alone, desperate, apathetic, and everything else. Real men feel like shit. Real men can feel like they are not real. They can question whether they are men. Real men feel – or can feel  – disappointed in themselves. I know all this is true, because that is how I’ve been feeling for many months.~ Andy Grant

Andy comes up for air after trying to overdose on apathy and attempts to explain the feelings of disappointment that can lead to attraction of his own demise.

If you’ve listened to this episode, here is a bit of closure to some of what Andy shared.
On July 3rd we were told my dad had days to weeks to live and my wife and I decided we couldn’t sell our home and deal with that at the same time. Especially since moving into my dad’s home for his last few months to care for him was one possible landing spot for us, so we pulled our house off the market.
And Sadie is okay, she’s on medication and has had seizures once since the original night. We’ve learned dog’s having seizures is much more common than we knew.

Andy’s earlier related posts: Sharing From My Low Point and Dealing with a Dad with Dementia.

#RealMenFeel

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Photo by whoislimos on Unsplash

Photo by whoislimos on Unsplash

Real Men Feel: Episode 61, Finding Hope with Psychological Theorist, Vito Mucci

Finding Hope with Psychological Theorist, Vito Mucci Episode 61, May 23, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author and co-host of Divine Union TV, Vito Mucci, to talk about finding hope. This isn’t airy-fairy stuff. Vito is all about science and psychology for everybody as he shares lessons learned from spending eight years at rock bottom.

Andy shares how triggered he was when first coming across Vito on Facebook. Vito then describes what being a psychological theorist means to him. The bulk of the show is about Vito’s eight years of being at rock bottom and attempting to use alcohol to control his emotions.

“Life is pretty adept at beating us down.” ~Vito Mucci

Vito believes alcohol did indeed save his life. He longed for some way to feel safe and alcohol was that safety for a long time. Drinking gave him a sense of control over his emotions.

The beginning of hope comes from not denying our emotions, but in allowing them.

Validate and celebrate all your little successes, those are the embers of hope.

Check out Vito’s book Coffee for Consciousness.

Connect with Vito on Facebook: facebook.com/vito.mucci
facebook.com/Divine-Union-TV-263163274114518/

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Feel: Episode 59, The Good Athlete Project with Jim Davis

Real Men Feel - Good Athlete Project

The Good Athlete Project with Jim Davis Episode 59, May 9, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Appio Hunter is joined by Jim Davis, founder of The Good Athlete Project, to discuss the power of using sports in character and leadership development.

Jim Davis is a high school staff and student wellness director in Illinois as well as being an athlete, artist, poet, writer and founder of The Good Athlete Project. Jim is passionate about athletics and the arts and shatters so many stereotypes about being a “jock.” Jim doesn’t subscribe to any stereotypes, be it jock, artist, man or anything. Stereotypes, at the most basic level, are lazy thinking. At their worst level they are hateful and dangerous.

Jim explores the metaphor of an anchor and tether. What anchors someone is their absolute belief in an area of life and how much wiggle room there is. If we find out we’re wrong, we need to be willing and able to pick up and move our anchor.

“Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.” ~Abraham Lincoln

Jim also shares his path to bringing the Good Athlete Project into the world. As an athlete he did his best to influence and be good for his teammates. Then he pursed that positive influence as a coach, and then expanded that to coach other coaches to meet the needs of more students, and now scaling that model even further espousing character, culture, equity and service.

“Competing is showing off all the good work you’ve done.” ~ Jim Davis

The Good Athlete Project is an international, sports-based, non-profit focused on outreach, leadership training and research. The goal is maximizing athletics as an educational platform. Sports gone wrong is something that fuels Jim. The notion of “locker room” talk and similar poor outcomes of athletics. Sports has the power of momentum, and the Good Athlete Project wants to get in front of stigma inducing behavior.

Being tough does not mean talking tough or degrading women. We made up what “tough” looks like and we can remake it. Ideally there is no barrier to how much we can care about each other.

“If you are part of a team, you should never feel like there is no one to talk to.”~ Jim Davis

The interview wraps up with an interesting discussion on concussions and chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE).

#RealMenFeel

Learn more about the Good Athlete Project at – GoodAthleteProject.com

Connect with Good Athlete Project (coach4kindness) on Twitter or Instagram.

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Real Men Feel: Episode 55, What’s the Story Behind Middle-Age Men and Suicide?

Real Men Feel show

What’s the Story Behind Middle-Age Men and Suicide? with Franklin Cook, Episode 55, April 11, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant is joined by MassMen.org Outreach Director and Grief Coach, Franklin Cook, to discuss the implications of an expert report, “Preventing Suicide among Men in the Middle Years.”

Men in the middle years are defined as ages 35 – 64 and that group makes up 40% of the suicides in the United States. Andy and Franklin discuss some of the risk factors as well as some prevention techniques. Andy shares his personal experiences with suicidal thoughts and attempts.

“Feeling connected to one another is the most protective thing there is.” ~Franklin Cook

One challenge facing men is our very notion of masculinity. The traditional ideas of being independent, strong, and concealing our emotions can lead to men not seeking help for fear of seeming weak. Too many men are dying due to their belief of what being a man means. If your view of masculinity isn’t serving you, drop it and define a new one. It really is up to each of us.

“Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is ask for help.” ~Andy Grant

Andy’s wife, Lori, even joins us towards the end to share her take.

#RealMenFeel

See the SPRC’s full report – Preventing Suicide Among Men in the Middle Years.

Explore MassMen.org

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Real Men Feel: Episode 48, The Anatomy of Awareness with guest, Amanda Foy

Real Men Feel Show

The Anatomy of Awareness with Amanda Foy, Episode 48, February 21, 2017

On the latest Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by their friend, Emotional Strength Trainer Amanda Foy, to explore emotions, awareness, and how emotional trauma affects our cells and health.

Amanda says that guilt and shame are the only useless emotions. They have no purpose but to make you feel horrible. Guilt is acceptance without positive action. Shame is a lack of acceptance or acknowledgment of having a human experience. While trauma is defined by each person. What one person finds traumatic another person may not. It can depend on what we were taught and how we are expected to be.

“When you get sick, it is your body’s way of taking you out of a situation you don’t know how to handle. Illness comes when you are too stubborn to do the work you need to do, so it is a good thing.” ~ Amanda Foy

#RealMenFeel

Amanda’s favorite book: The Secret Language of Your Body

Connect with Amanda at AmandaFoy.com.au, Twitter @amandafoy_est, and Facebook AmandaFoyOfficial

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 30, Why Men Must Cry with Dr. Gary Keil

Real Men Feel Show

Why Men Must Cry with Dr. Gary Keil, Episode 30, October 11, 2016

On this episode of Real Men Feel, Andy Grant, is joined by scientist, coach, speaker, athlete, and much more, Dr. Gary Keil for a powerful discussion on why men MUST cry when it isn’t avoidable, and the fact that suppressing ‘negative’ emotions ends up suppressing all emotions, to our detriment and to the harm of others.
We also explore the concept of Post Traumatic Growth Order, PTGO. Life is an unending opportunity for growth.

#RealMenFeel

Learn more about Gary and the Growth Leaders Network at GrowthLeadersNetwork.org

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 25, That Guy Who Loves The Universe, Sean Patrick

Real Men Feel with Sean Patrick

That Guy Who Loves The Universe, with guest Sean Patrick, Episode 25, August 30, 2016
Hi, I’m a man and I feel.
On this episode of Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, are once again joined by Sean Patrick, That Guy Who Loves The Universe. While Appio suffers technical difficulties, Sean shares a bit of his path to loving the Universe and tips on how it is possible for anyone. Andy and Sean discuss  their experiences with depression, spirituality, and positive psychology – even if it is too “California” for some people. #RealMenFeel

You can connect with Sean at Facebook.com/ThatGuyWhoLovesTheUniverse
Check out Sean’s book, That Guy Who Loves The Universe: A Modern Tale of Setbacks, Second Chances and Spiritual Enlightenment

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Be the Genius of Yourself

real-genius-poster

In September 1995, comedian Pat Cooper made an infamous appearance on Howard Stern’s radio show. It was another situation where Stern (purposely or not) goaded a celebrity into an argument, and the result was pure entertainment.

I clearly remember the moment during their on-air fight when Howard challenged Cooper by asking “What are you a genius of?” To which Cooper responded “I am a genius of myself.”

There’s debate on what Cooper meant by that phrase. Some think he had just spouted nonsense. Others thought he was being smug.

But my favorite theory is that Cooper believes in knowing himself, and his abilities, very well.

Wisdom from a Howard Stern broadcast? Just stick with me here.

Cooper made me think of the saying “Know Thyself.” You may have seen this phrase (also known as an aphorism) used by Greek philosopher Plato (who is perhaps slightly more famous than Pat Cooper). Plato’s gist was this: you have to understand yourself before you can understand anyone else. It’s a beautiful paradox that self-knowledge ultimately leads to other-knowledge.

This is why we, as men, have to fight against the bad habit of ignoring our mental and emotional depth. We have to commit to unlearning the stereotype of the “never-weak” male, where sensitivity and exploration of our feelings is perceived as weakness. Because avoiding internal self-improvement is the root of much of the conflict we experience in our daily lives.

When we don’t understand ourselves, how can we hope to understand others?

Guys, it’s simple: we need to stop beating ourselves up. For our own sake, and the sake of those around us.
(TWEET THIS!)

But don’t just take my word for it. You can read up on the sociological and psychological research regarding the dangers of being a stranger to yourself.

So what can you do to get to know yourself better? Start with the conscious decision to command the direction of your life.

Captaining Your Fate

If you’ve seen the movie “Invictus,” you know the quote from the William Ernest Henley poem of the same name: “I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.”

We all want to be the master of our own fate, right? The problem is, too many of us wait for external circumstances to give us the signal that we can take charge of ourselves. We tell ourselves we’ll work to be better personally when we get the right job, the right romantic partner, the right connections.

Don’t wait for outside permission to work on yourself, because the “right time” will never come.
(TWEET THIS!)

We often become frustrated when the world around us seems to thwart our plans. But if we focus on what we can control – our inner world – we can learn to react calmly and effectively to external forces we can’t control (especially other people).

So, inner-mastery should be a priority in our lives. That’s the foundation for outer-mastery. But what can we master within ourselves?

Primarily, it’s important to choose how you will react to any circumstance life brings your way.

We often cannot change the situations we find ourselves in, but we can change our reactions to those situations. It takes mindfulness and practice, but the change can be made.

The better you know your own human condition, the more tolerance you’ll have for the seemingly random events of circumstance as well as the actions of others. You’ll also develop the emotional resilience to rebound when things don’t go your way.

Remember that everyone on this planet is on a path of struggle and growth, just like you. Whether you realize it or not, your actions can seem just as random and confusion to other people. Very often, the misunderstandings we encounter in life are the result of miscommunication and the bad habit of assuming too much. This is why it’s important to simply talk to other people, and to stop believing you know what other people are thinking.

So here’s my challenge to you: make the decision today to be the genius of yourself!

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anthony simeoneAbout the Author
Anthony Simeone is a writer, speaker, personal development activist, and social change warrior with over two decades of experience studying the practical application of literature, philosophy, psychology, and other disciplines. The culmination of his work is the Live the Hero concept, which he offers as a life path for use in overcoming life’s daily obstacles. Live the Hero combines the wisdom found in the arts and humanities with the latest discoveries related to modern neuroscience.

You can contact Anthony and learn more about his work at livethehero.com.