Tag: masculinity

Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 86, Having a Positive Relationship with Your Ex-wife

Having a Positive Relationship with Your Ex-wife with Al DeLuise Episode 86, March 20, 2018

This week Andy Grant is visited by writer, Al DeLuise, for a hilarious conversation about choosing to create a positive experience following a divorce. People can get divorced without wanting to kill each other.

Al has been writing humorous essays, which are often about him and his ex-wife, Arlene, since 2012. His writing about her often bothers other people much more than it does her. In fact, Al runs every article by Arlene first, and she’ll even remind of things to include. Despite that, one reader compared him to Hitler.

“Take the opportunity to calm down… There is no reason to go through hell.” ~Al DeLuise

Al says he’s getting along better with his ex-wife than his parents did while they were married. Having a good divorce is possible for anyone. It takes a conscious decision.

Topics Covered Include:

  • A life of nothing but conflict and scotch.
  • How his blog with Huffington Post started.
  • Have you always written comedic pieces?
  • Ex-wife approves everything written about her.
  • I’m not making fun of her.
  • Has she ever said, No – you can’t write about that?
  • Is it possible to have a positive divorce?
  • What do your kids think about the articles?
  • Mingling with Clooney and Pacino.
  • Being huge in Norway.
  • What article has gotten the biggest response?
  • What was the most surprising reaction?
  • Watch Al discover how Zoom works.

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Some of the specific pieces mentioned on the show:
Driving Miss Crazy
The Day I Got Engaged the Universe Was Trying to Tell Me Something
What I Learned About My Ex-Wife After My Daughter’s College Graduation

#RealMenFeel

Check out Al on GoodMenProject.com

You can learn more about Al at ConflictAndScotch.com.

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Real Men Feel: Al DeLuise

Conflict & Scotch

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 85, Men Going Their Own Way

Men Going Their Own Way Episode 85, March 13, 2018

This week Andy Grant is visited by writer and speaker, Anthony Simeone, to discuss the MGTOW movement, toxic masculinity, and the notion that women are evil.

“Guys, we need to stop blaming women for our problems.” ~Anthony Simeone

The first time we heard of MGTOW was in a piece Anthony wrote a few weeks ago that got a lot of comments, Watch Out for Men ‘Goating Their Own Way.’ Anthony Simeone has over two decades of experience in the practical application of literature, philosophy, psychology, and other disciplines. The culmination of his work is the Live the Hero concept, which he offers as a “life path” for use in overcoming obstacles. Live the Hero combines the wisdom found in the arts and humanities with the latest discoveries related to modern neuroscience.

Heroism is inherent to the human condition. Looking out for each other, cooperating is heroism. It comes out of self-preservation but adds altruism and empathy

Topics Covered Include:

  • What is the MGTOW movement?
  • Is masculinity toxic?
  • What is meant by the term “toxic-masculinity?”
  • Are women evil?
  • The dangers of scapegoating.
  • What drives our quest for certainty?
  • What got you into these explorations of masculinity?
  • What do you mean by The Heroic Man?
  • Why men are becoming killers.

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What IS toxic is the “programming” men are receiving, skewing their perceptions of the world towards cynicism, loneliness, and violence (both physical and mental). It’s time to turn the conversation around to what’s virtuous, honorable, and positive about men. ~Anthony Simeone

Explore How You Can Become a Non-Toxic Man.

#RealMenFeel

Check out Anthony on GoodMenProject.com

You can learn more about Anthony and his work at livethehero.com.

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Real Men Feel with Anthony Simeone

 

Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 84, Raising the Level of Consciousness via Epic Conversations

Epic Conversations with Dr. Vibe Episode 84, March 6, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by Dr. Vibe, The Prime Minister of Pertinent Information, Connector, Producer and Host of the award-winning The Dr. Vibe Show™ to talk about men, deep conversations and changing the world for the better.

“Failure is not a person it is a moment.” ~Dr. Vibe

Dr. Vibe is a self-taught online whiz. With no formal training in coding or broadcasting, Dr. Vibe has become Canada’s Prince of Podcast. He dominates the Internet when it comes to hosting intelligent, entertaining conversations on race and gender.

Dr. Vibe has been the host and producer of his online show The Dr. Vibe Show™ for the last decade. He has done over 1000 interviews with people from all over the world. He has gotten into the minds of Black powerhouses such as: Canadian football great Michael “Pinball” Clemons, Canadian Senator Don Meredith, ESPN Radio’s Freddie Coleman, actress and producer Robin Givens and MSNBC & CNN Education Contributor, Dr. Steve Perry. His main mission is to peel back the layers of the mainstream media’s construct around Black males, to reveal the positivity that is often clouded.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Why did you start your podcast?
  • You are “demolishing the digital divide and raising the level of consciousness” – How are you doing that?
  • What are your favorite conversation subjects?
  • Have you always been a natural communicator?
  • Do black men and white men have different views on masculinity?
  • What are some great topics for future conversations?
  • What are some of the most consistent issues you are seeing across men?
  • What is the role of men today?
  • Tips on finding your purpose.
  • What should the role of men be?
  • How man and women deal with change.
  • Dr. Vibe issues a challenge to listeners.

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Dr. Vibes favorite thing to hear during one of his conversations is, “No ones ever asked me that before.”

See Andy’s appearance on The Dr. Vibe Show.

Dr. Vibe encourages everyone to listen more and judge less, and also to be of service in some way. He believes one big thing missing from most men’s lives is having another man that they can say anything to.

#RealMenFeel

Learn more about Dr. Vibe at TheDrVibeShow.com

Check out Dr. Vibe on GoodMenProject.com

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Real Men Feel with Dr. Vibe

 

Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 83, Spare Me “The Talk”

Spare Me “The Talk” with Jo Langford Episode 83, February 27, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by therapist, sex educator, author, and dad, Jo Langford, to discuss talking with teenage boys about sex. The technology of today makes discussing sex with teens very different from what it was when you first heard “the talk.”

“Fear and ignorance around sexuality cause problems.” ~Jo Langford

If you have a teenage boy, there’s a 50 percent chance that he’s already sexually active, and a 33 percent chance that he’s been solicited by an online predator in the past year. How prepared is he for the risks and realities of sex?

Jo’s mission is to provide healthy social and sexual information to teens and their parents, in a multi-pronged approach consisting of live speaking events, books and a number of resources for youth, their families and other professionals around that intersection of adolescence, sexuality, and technology.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Did you have a fantastic sex talk with your dad as a kid that set you on this path?
  • The guys each share what their sex talks were like from their parents.
  • Does technology make discussing sex with teens different today when we were kids?
  • How does internet porn change what teens know when it comes to sex?
  • What do parents look out for that says it’s time for a discussion?
  • The positive aspects of porn.
  • Jo’s journey from peer counselor to sex educator.
  • Is there a common mistake parents make when it comes to talking about sex with their kids?
  • The widening language around gender and sexual identity.
  • The sort of calls Jo gets from panicked parents.
  • What are most parents doing well?

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Jo has a Spare Me “The Talk” book for boys and another version for girls. His upcoming book, The Pride Guide, is the first puberty book for queer and trans kids.

Half the battle is being an accessible parent.

Gender identity and sexual identity don’t necessarily go hand in hand. Only 48% of youth identify themselves as “exclusively heterosexual.”

Check out Jo’s book, Spare Me ‘The Talk’!: A Guy’s Guide to Sex, Relationships, and Growing Up
See all of Jo Langford’s books

#RealMenFeel

Learn more about Jo at BeHeroes.net

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Real Men Feel - Jo Langford

Spare Me

Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 82, Dads Behaving Dadly

Dads Behaving Dadly with Hogan Hilling Episode 82, February 20, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author, Hogan Hilling, to discuss the shifting roles of fatherhood. Hilling is the author of the Dads Behaving Dadly series and also the founder of the #WeLoveDads Campaign and United We Parent.

“One of the biggest assumptions is that a guy is a stay-at-home dad as a last resort. That he had no choice.” ~Hogan Hilling

Hogan’s mission is to dispel the unfair stigma of dads as incompetent parents and more importantly prove Fatherhood Is Alive and Well! He loved being a full-time caregiver to his kids, but everyone around him kept telling him it was wrong. He got tired of defending himself and having to justify his choices in ways stay-at-home moms never have to.

“I haven’t lost any masculinity by staying home!”

Topics Covered Include:

  • The stigma stay-at-home dads face.
  • What assumptions are made about stay-at-home dads?
  • The one thing Hogan focuses on as a father.
  • “Coming out of the pantry.”
  • Dads are not replacements for moms.
  • The power and benefits of dad support groups.
  • The danger and splintering of so many parent support groups.
  • What are the dynamics for stepdads?
  • What does behaving “dadly” mean?
  • What is Hogan’s best advice for new dads?
  • #WeLoveDads campaign
  • Dad Marketing

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There is still a bias that moms are much better parents than dads. That dads are inept as caregivers and parents. That is why many men are still hesitant to come out of the pantry.

All parents need to drop the adjectives before their names: stay-at-home dad, working mom, gay dad, stepfather…follow the leads of your kids who only introduce you as dad.

Check out Hogan’s book, Dads Behaving Dadly: 67 Truths, Tears and Triumphs of Modern Fatherhood
See all of Hogan’s books

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Feel ep 82

Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 80, Spirituality or Religion; What’s the Difference?

Spiritual Path or Religious Path; What’s the Difference? Episode 80, February 13, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author and speaker, Kallen Diggs, to discuss our experiences with religion and spirituality. Are they the same thing? Hear first-hand adventures with numerous faiths including; Pentecostal, Mormonism, and even Scientology. Uh oh, wait just a minute – Kallen had major internet challenges and never made it to Real Men Feel, but the show must go on!

See Kallen’s post that prompted the conversation – Spirituality or Religion? How to Discover What’s Good for Your Soul

“It is not about the label. It is about nurturing the soul.” ~Kallen Diggs

Topics Covered Include:

  • Andy and Appio discuss their childhoods from a religious perspective.
  • Appio shares some of his experience with Mormonism.
  • Andy talks about his brief time in Scientology.
  • Why are more people calling themselves spiritual instead of religious?
  • What stands out as moments of “awakening?”
  • Appio touches on conversion therapy.
  • Anything you do now that you thought was total BS years ago?
  • Can you see yourself returning to organized religion?

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There is no single right or wrong path. Find the way that brings you the most joy and stick with it as long as that is true.

Is there any way you can root yourself more in the realm of love?
As traditional religions got more organized and gained more control, they’ve moved away from the love they were rooted in and more into fear.

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” ~ Meister Eckhart

 

#RealMenFeel

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Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 79, Exploring The Men School

Exploring The Men School with Jan Darwin Hutchins Episode 79, February 6, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter discover the path to the creation of The Men School, a school dedicated to cultivating the divine masculine in all of us with Jan Darwin Hutchins.

“Why, after having been a lone wolf all my life, did I feel so alone?” ~Jan Darwin Hutchins

Jan was successful at a young age, living the dream as a TV sports anchor, yet he felt rather empty. In his 50s he realized he had made no real friends over his life. An experience witnessing the support a dying friend received from a men’s group made him realize he was not alone and that he could trust other men. He discovered there was an initiation he could do to become one of those men. Jan did it and confirmed that he was not alone, didn’t need to be alone and could trust men.

“The problem with life is there is no end to the problems.”

Topics Covered Include:

  • Jan’s background including TV news, politics, yoga and more.
  • What lead to the creation of The Men School?
  • The masks we all wear.
  • The need for and benefits of doing the inner work.
  • The power of men’s groups.
  • The current state of The Men’s School and plans for the future.
  • Do we ever graduate from Men School?
  • Jan shares some research on wolves in Yellowstone.
  • OKness and presence.
  • The MankindProject
  • How does a man find his truth?
  • Is life simple or hard?

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All three men answer the question: If there was one thing you could teach or make all men aware of, what would it be?

TheMenSchool
“We are a learning community cultivating the sacred deep masculine in us all.”
As social animals, we require a source of stabilization from outside ourselves. Our shared connections and, co-corrections, literally keep us sane.

TheMenSchool is here to:
—keep learning to model the divine masculine
—see you excel in your individual life

When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time.~Byron Katie

Check out Robert Johnson’s book, We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love
Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

#RealMenFeel

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Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 78, Working Through Upset and Reactions

Working Through Upset and Reactions Episode 78, January 30, 2018

This week Andy Grant goes solo with a member of the RMF private Facebook group who was upset with him and wanted to leave the group.

True to the title of the show, we bring some internal upset out into the light.

Last month, in the private Real Men Feel group on Facebook, one of our men took offense with something that Andy shared there. It was a video from a group of guys called The Try Guys.

Andy says: I had shared a video from them before and it was well received. I admit I hesitated about this but obviously decided to post it. The first comment on the video in the group was – “This is disgusting. I’m leaving the group.”

I was horrified that something I shared had driven a man to leave. It was a man I don’t recall ever speaking up before which made me feel even worse. I wondered what to do, to leave it be, reach out to him… I noticed he hadn’t left yet so I asked via reply to his comment if he would be willing to come on RMF in 2018 to talk about this.

He agreed. So here we are.

Comments in group

 

Topics Covered Include:

  • What offended you about that video?
  • The positives and negatives of Facebook.
  • Stereotypes about masculinity.
  • Andy’s reaction to Steve saying he was leaving the group.
  • What drew you to the Real Men Feel group to begin with?
  • Had Steve ever listened to this show?
  • The courage it takes to speak up.
  • The coolest thing Steve’s learned from all the men’s groups he’s in.
  • The struggle of knowing what masculinity is.
  • Steve’s definition of masculinity.
  • Steve’s background and personal story.
  • The benefits of being in a men’s group.
  • What’s the least “manly” thing you do?

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Here is the video in that brought up the turmoil.

Steve shares a great deal about his journey and why he questioned his manhood and what makes someone a man.

“Those guys who have it all together, he’s so manly, he’s so cool… once you get to know them they’ve got just as many issues as you do. All men are created equal.” ~Steve

Being a man means you doubt being a man at some point.

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Real Men Feel ep. 78

Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 77, Celebrating Masculine Power

Celebrating Masculine Power Episode 77, January 23, 2018

At a time when masculinity seems under attack, it is important to remember that good men owning their power can be a fantastic positive force for everyone. This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by fulfillment coach and speaker, Sean-Patrick Maher, to discuss how men can embrace their power and create deeper connections with themselves and others.

A key to men owning their power is operating more from their heart and less from their head.

The conversation begins with Andy sharing that he blew off Sean-Patrick last year, but that he was impressed by Sean-Patrick’s reaction and was eager to get him on the show once Real Men Feel was flowing again. The interaction was a great example of men communication with openness and honesty.

“Being grounded, heart-centered, and connected to all parts of myself is the greatest gift I can give to the world.” ~Sean-Patrick Maher

Topics Covered Include:

  • Authenticity and integrity
  • The fear of showing up in our full “manness” today
  • The importance of operating from the heart over the head
  • Awareness
  • How to get into your heart
  • What Sean-Patrick was taught about being a man
  • What being an integrated man means
  • The Heart-Math Institute
  • Toxic masculinity and the fear that all expression of masculinity is labeled “toxic”
  • The power and problems of labels
  • The MankindProject

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Masculine energy is not only domination and patriarchy. That is a distorted aspect of masculine energy. An excellent discussion unfolded on labels, language, masculine/feminine, and mindset. Allowing ourselves and others to flow on a spectrum of labels can be liberating, but if we ever think we ARE the label, that brings trouble.

Being an integrated man, allowing full access to our femininity and seeing the strength of our masculinity as equally beautiful and powerful is the sweet spot.

“Let our hearts be the laison for everything entering and exiting our field.” ~Sean-Patrick Maher

Check out Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

#RealMenFeel

Learn more about Sean-Patrick at SeanPatrickMaher.com

More on this theme – You’ve Got a Goddess Inside You, Chuck!

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Follow your heart

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 76, Praising the President or Trumpeting Trump

Men Praising President Trump Episode 76, January 16, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter invited supporters of President Trump to join them for an hour of conversation and listening. It was challenging to find men willing to speak up and be seen; many feel under attack for their political views. We promised to ask questions and listen. Our goal was an open and honest conversation among men.

Great thanks and appreciation to our guests, Buddy Carchide of New Hampshire, and Tony Crisostomo of Arizona, for taking part in this experiment, as well as to all the men who considered being on the show. We hit a lot of different topics and could have continued talking for hours.

“Biggest problem is that there is NO discussion, just name calling. The art of conversation has been lost. We all want to make a better country.”

Questions Included:

  • When did you get on board with candidate Donald Trump?
  • Is building a wall along our southern border a priority to you?
  • What are you proudest or happiest with regarding the Trump administration in its first year?
  • What are you most disappointed in or by?
  • What are your thoughts on “Fake News?”
  • Regarding the investigations into Russian meddling in the election and possible collusion with the Trump campaign – do you think there is anything there?
  • What about the current controversy over Trump’s alleged “shithole” comments?
  • What do you feel is the biggest issue the President has yet to address?
  • What are you most looking forward to in the next year of this administration?
  • Do you think politics in general and the presidency, in particular, are changed forever?
  • Will we ever go back to a career politician, who acts “presidential”?

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Our guests have been Trump fans from the very start and saw him as someone who says what he’ll do and does what he says. Putting America first is not selfish or Naziism. They admire that President Trump doesn’t care what anyone thinks about him, and they are glad he’s on Twitter, talking directly to the people.

The guys don’t like being called racist, bigot, or homophobe. “I just have a different way to get to the same place. We all want to improve our country.”

“We have much love and much respect for all the country. Our differences make us great. We are all part of the American soul.”

Everyone involved wished for more understanding.

Our conversation was rambunctious and surprisingly laugh-filled. We can all get along.

#RealMenFeel

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Official Portrait of President Donald Trump
By Shealah Craighead – https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/10/31/white-house-releases-official-portraits-president-donald-j-trump-and, Public Domain, Link

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