Real Men Feel: Ep. 82, Dads Behaving Dadly

Dads Behaving Dadly with Hogan Hilling Episode 82, February 20, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author, Hogan Hilling, to discuss the shifting roles of fatherhood. Hilling is the author of the Dads Behaving Dadly series and also the founder of the #WeLoveDads Campaign and United We Parent.

“One of the biggest assumptions is that a guy is a stay-at-home dad as a last resort. That he had no choice.” ~Hogan Hilling

Hogan’s mission is to dispel the unfair stigma of dads as incompetent parents and more importantly prove Fatherhood Is Alive and Well! He loved being a full-time caregiver to his kids, but everyone around him kept telling him it was wrong. He got tired of defending himself and having to justify his choices in ways stay-at-home moms never have to.

“I haven’t lost any masculinity by staying home!”

Topics Covered Include:

  • The stigma stay-at-home dads face.
  • What assumptions are made about stay-at-home dads?
  • The one thing Hogan focuses on as a father.
  • “Coming out of the pantry.”
  • Dads are not replacements for moms.
  • The power and benefits of dad support groups.
  • The danger and splintering of so many parent support groups.
  • What are the dynamics for stepdads?
  • What does behaving “dadly” mean?
  • What is Hogan’s best advice for new dads?
  • #WeLoveDads campaign
  • Dad Marketing

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There is still a bias that moms are much better parents than dads. That dads are inept as caregivers and parents. That is why many men are still hesitant to come out of the pantry.

All parents need to drop the adjectives before their names: stay-at-home dad, working mom, gay dad, stepfather…follow the leads of your kids who only introduce you as dad.

Check out Hogan’s book, Dads Behaving Dadly: 67 Truths, Tears and Triumphs of Modern Fatherhood
See all of Hogan’s books

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Real Men Feel ep 82

Real Men Feel: Ep. 80, Spirituality or Religion; What’s the Difference?

Spiritual Path or Religious Path; What’s the Difference? Episode 80, February 13, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author and speaker, Kallen Diggs, to discuss our experiences with religion and spirituality. Are they the same thing? Hear first-hand adventures with numerous faiths including; Pentecostal, Mormonism, and even Scientology. Uh oh, wait just a minute – Kallen had major internet challenges and never made it to Real Men Feel, but the show must go on!

See Kallen’s post that prompted the conversation – Spirituality or Religion? How to Discover What’s Good for Your Soul

“It is not about the label. It is about nurturing the soul.” ~Kallen Diggs

Topics Covered Include:

  • Andy and Appio discuss their childhoods from a religious perspective.
  • Appio shares some of his experience with Mormonism.
  • Andy talks about his brief time in Scientology.
  • Why are more people calling themselves spiritual instead of religious?
  • What stands out as moments of “awakening?”
  • Appio touches on conversion therapy.
  • Anything you do now that you thought was total BS years ago?
  • Can you see yourself returning to organized religion?

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There is no single right or wrong path. Find the way that brings you the most joy and stick with it as long as that is true.

Is there any way you can root yourself more in the realm of love?
As traditional religions got more organized and gained more control, they’ve moved away from the love they were rooted in and more into fear.

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” ~ Meister Eckhart

 

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 79, Exploring The Men School

Exploring The Men School with Jan Darwin Hutchins Episode 79, February 6, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter discover the path to the creation of The Men School, a school dedicated to cultivating the divine masculine in all of us with Jan Darwin Hutchins.

“Why, after having been a lone wolf all my life, did I feel so alone?” ~Jan Darwin Hutchins

Jan was successful at a young age, living the dream as a TV sports anchor, yet he felt rather empty. In his 50s he realized he had made no real friends over his life. An experience witnessing the support a dying friend received from a men’s group made him realize he was not alone and that he could trust other men. He discovered there was an initiation he could do to become one of those men. Jan did it and confirmed that he was not alone, didn’t need to be alone and could trust men.

“The problem with life is there is no end to the problems.”

Topics Covered Include:

  • Jan’s background including TV news, politics, yoga and more.
  • What lead to the creation of The Men School?
  • The masks we all wear.
  • The need for and benefits of doing the inner work.
  • The power of men’s groups.
  • The current state of The Men’s School and plans for the future.
  • Do we ever graduate from Men School?
  • Jan shares some research on wolves in Yellowstone.
  • OKness and presence.
  • The MankindProject
  • How does a man find his truth?
  • Is life simple or hard?

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All three men answer the question: If there was one thing you could teach or make all men aware of, what would it be?

TheMenSchool
“We are a learning community cultivating the sacred deep masculine in us all.”
As social animals, we require a source of stabilization from outside ourselves. Our shared connections and, co-corrections, literally keep us sane.

TheMenSchool is here to:
—keep learning to model the divine masculine
—see you excel in your individual life

When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time.~Byron Katie

Check out Robert Johnson’s book, We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love
Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

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Real Men Feel: Episode 60, The Principles of Joy with Appio Hunter

Real Men Feel Joy

The Principles of Joy Episode 60, May 16, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel Andy Grant and Appio Hunter revisit Appio’s connection with Source Energy as he shares five universal Principles that can shape the daily experience of clarity, inner peace, self-love, and joy.

The Principles of Joy have been renamed the Tenets of Joy. They were channeled from Source, the Collective known as Samuel, that Appio works with.
Tenet – any opinion, principle, doctrine, dogma, etc., especially one held as true by members of a profession, group, or movement.

1. You are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness but your own.
2. Your human experience is your ultimate expression of joy.
3. The experience of joy is as natural as breathing.
4. Every emotion you feel is an expression of the totality of your existence.
5. When you are joyous the Universe celebrates with you.

The discussion of joy also explores joys gone too far that become addictions. Addictions result from avoidance of something, they are not true joy.

Real Men Feel Joy

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Learn more about Appio at: http://www.appiohunter.com/

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Real Men Feel: Episode 41, Year End Rituals to Release the Old and Welcome the New

Real Men Feel

Year End Rituals to Release the Old and Welcome the New, Episode 41, December 27, 2016

On the final episode of Real Men Feel for 2016, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter discuss a variety of ways to close out 2016 and welcome 2017, including rituals around journaling, gratitude, meditation, burning, goals and much more. If you are tired of traditions around getting drunk and then resolving to never drink again, this is the show for you.

The RMF shares a number of practices that Andy and Appio have used as well as some they’ve recently discovered. They also touch on that dreaded word, “goals.” You are invited to wind down 2016 with awareness. When looking forward and planning your 2017, remember that 90 days is the motivational horizon built into you brains.

Robin Sharma: “Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.”

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Want more gratitude practices? Check out Andy’s The Power of Gratitude course.

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New Warrior Training Adventure (NWTA) with The ManKind Project

This past weekend I took part in the signature program of the ManKind Project, the New Warrior Training Adventure (NWTA) weekend. I learned of it thanks to Real Men Feel when we spoke with Boysen Hodgson in episode #26.

I’ve been to dozens of multi-day personal growth events, but never one exclusively with men. I hoped I would gain some clarity around my working with men, and I was also looking forward to learning more about the ManKind Project and how they run an event as I do see live events for Real Men Feel some day soon.

I gained all of that and more… a LOT more. All my expectations were insanely exceeded.

As I like to do when I’m venturing off into the unknown, I made a “before” and “after” video. So here they are.

 Before NWTA – October 21, 2016

After NWTA – October 24, 2016

Check out NWTA, they are held all over the world, and sign up! I cannot recommend this enough!

I’ll share more in the October 25 episode of Real Men Feel which is being recorded live Tuesday at 8pm Eastern. If you join us live you’ll be able to share comments, ask questions and even be fully seen and heard as part of the show if you choose. We use a platform called Zoom and you’ll need to download some software the first time you use it. RealMenFeel.org/show

UPDATE: The show is live and you can check it out here.

The journey continues.

***

About The Author
Andy GrantAndy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Akashic Records Reader and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Infinite Possibilities and Reiki, as well as other leadership programs and energy work modalities.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing, and is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. He also facilitates monthly men’s groups. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we as human beings can feel, and he is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be. Learn more about Andy at NavitasCoach.com

Real Men Feel: Ep. 25, That Guy Who Loves The Universe, Sean Patrick

Real Men Feel with Sean Patrick

That Guy Who Loves The Universe, with guest Sean Patrick, Episode 25, August 30, 2016
Hi, I’m a man and I feel.
On this episode of Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, are once again joined by Sean Patrick, That Guy Who Loves The Universe. While Appio suffers technical difficulties, Sean shares a bit of his path to loving the Universe and tips on how it is possible for anyone. Andy and Sean discuss  their experiences with depression, spirituality, and positive psychology – even if it is too “California” for some people. #RealMenFeel

You can connect with Sean at Facebook.com/ThatGuyWhoLovesTheUniverse
Check out Sean’s book, That Guy Who Loves The Universe: A Modern Tale of Setbacks, Second Chances and Spiritual Enlightenment

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Just Be You

This post was originally published on my personal blog, and then after rereading it, I thought it would be perfect for here. As men, it is our responsibility to be our genuine, authentic selves by shedding all of the baggage and expectations placed on us by society, culture, family, etc. Enjoy the read!


I’ve been subconsciously aware of a certain pattern with my writing for a long time now, but I’ve only recently started paying deliberate attention to it. The pattern is that I only write when I/m in an “over-the-top” good mood. Truth be told, “Good Mood” is where I usually am, but when I’m in a really good mood I/m a lot more creative, which means that I/m also more likely to write.

When I started examining my writing pattern, I noticed a pattern within the pattern. The times I didn’t write were the times when I subtly entertained a belief that I had nothing to say. I thought that the only time I could write a Reflection was when I had something profound to share. Then, when I looked back at some of my more popular posts, I saw that they were the ones where I was the most vulnerable. I didn’t see my thoughts or insights as being all that profound, but they somehow resonated with many, many people.

Appio Being Happy 01That’s when I started to see that when I’m Appio, not Appio The Emotion Emancipator, not Appio the coach, not Appio the public speaker, just plain ol’ Appio, I share more authentically and I write more prolifically. I’m happiest when I’m baring my soul, being human, and inviting people into my experiences. Those wishing to join me will, and those who aren’t ready won’t. All I know is that everyone who crosses my path does so at the right time, and in a way that positively impacts both of us.

Ever since I stopped hiding and worrying about what others thought of me or the path I felt inspired to take, my life has blossomed in ways I never imagined. My relationships with immediate and extended family are stronger than before, and amazing people have supported me in ways that have left me humbled and awestruck. I’m more blessed than I’ve ever been. Best of all, I continue to step further into my personal joy.

My thought this week is consequently very simple: Just be you. When you allow the genuine, authentic you to step forward and simply BE, you find the very acceptance, understanding, and joy you’ve been looking for. You’ll discover that they’ve been with you all along. The only thing keeping you from experiencing the full expression of your joy is your acceptance of yourself. Once you let go of the illusions that feed your fears and the judgment that others have thrown at you, you can claim what has always been yours. Love. Acceptance. Understanding. And above all, Joy.

Will there be people who reject the authentic you? Perhaps. But if they do, know that their rejection is more about them than it is about you. Their rejection is their way of saying that in their minds, they can only be happy as long as you behave the way they want you to behave. They’re telling you that they see you as being responsible for their happiness. Their message is that they feel powerless and helpless and that it is somehow your responsibility to make things right.

Let me be clear. You are not responsible for anyone’s happiness except your own. As you take responsibility for yourself, you may end up sharing your joy with a few or with millions, but if all you do is experience your personal expression of joy, then that is enough. Your expression of joy is enough because if each of us expresses our joy in our unique way, without worrying about what others think, we will collectively create the very world we want to live in.

If, as you choose to be you, the people you love the most walk out of your life, it is important to know two things: First, as difficult as the experience may appear to be, they are clearing your path and giving you the freedom to express and experience your personal joy. Second, the shock of separation is only temporary. Your life will quickly be filled with those who genuinely support you and your vision for yourself.

It is okay to experience the fear of rejection, and as you feel that fear, do your best to release it. Turn your attention instead to what you want to experience. When that happens, the universe itself will become your willing, enthusiastic collaborator and help you create everything you want. I absolutely guarantee it.

That’s all I have to say for now. Be well, my friends, and be you. You are, always will be, supported.


About the Author

Appio Hunter, a.k.a. The Emotion Emancipator, is a personal development coach, energy worker, author, and inspirational speaker. He holds certifications as a Happiness Champion and Infinite Possibilities Trainer.

Appio is a self-described crusader for joy. His work blends multiple disciplines to show everyone how they can embrace their personal power and experience clarity, emotional freedom, balance, inner peace, and joy every day. He is also co-host of the weekly podcast Real Men Feel along with his good friend and fellow coach Andy Grant. You can learn more about Appio at AppioHunter.com.

Real Men Feel: Ep. 14, Men Having Fun; From Golf to Porn

Real Men Feel Podcast

Men Having Fun; From Golf to Porn, Episode 14, June 7, 2016
On this episode of Real Men Feel, hosts Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, explore ideas around men and fun. Do men allow themselves to have fun? Do they have too much fun? What sort of things are men expected to enjoy? They cover everything from golf to strip clubs.

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Let’s Rewrite the Rules of Manhood Together

man-in-crowdYou know something’s wrong. You can feel it.

Like Neo in The Matrix, you know things aren’t the way they’re supposed to be. But we’re not talking about the world around you. There’s something happening with your inner world. It has you frustrated, restless, unhappy. But knowing about the wrongness hasn’t made it better. In fact, it’s made things worse.

I’ve been there, trust me. For decades, I wandered through my own life without a purpose. I often felt useless, no matter what I achieved. It took a lot of time and suffering before I began to suspect I was running on obsolete “social software.”

Like me, maybe you fell for the notion that men are supposed to be pillars of strength that don’t feel too much, think too much, or dream too big. Maybe you were taught the world is a nasty, dog-eat-dog place where dreams are a luxury we can’t afford. This worldview may have sent you into a downward spiral of isolation and depression.

Maybe, like me, you’ve never really given up hope that things could be different.

A New Man for This Century…and Beyond

The opening line of Allen Ginsberg‘s Howl says “I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness.” I saw this line played out too many times in my own life and the lives of men around me. Finally, I realized the madness was being taught to us, blindly passed down because “that’s just the way it is.”

I’d had enough. I waded through years of struggle and a lot of trial-and-error experimentation with different religions, philosophies, and therapies. It wasn’t until I brought together ideas from a wide variety of teachings that I discovered something that worked for me.

What I discovered is, ultimately, you must start by being the hero of your own life.

You must make the conscious choice to believe in your own personal power to determine your own purpose and meaning for your life. It’s the vital first step on the road to fulfillment and happiness.

I’m so inspired by the creators of Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter. They’re kindred spirits to me and any other modern man who is tired of laboring under the stereotype of the macho man. They are fellow travelers on the road.

Most importantly, Andy and Appio have planted the seed of what I believe will become a community of men who can no longer sit back and keep silent about men’s issues. Like me, they want to give you alternatives to the male stereotype we’ve been slaving under for too long. That old framework is rotted out, and together we can build something better to replace it.

What Have You Got to Lose?

It’s not just our minds that are at risk. Our lives are also at stake. Approximately 87 men commit suicide every day in the United States. Over six million men suffer from a major bout of depression every year, which not only affects the mind but the body as well (it’s a contributing factor for heart disease).

Let’s be clear: I’m not talking about saving the world. I’m talking about saving you.

But when you save yourself, a funny thing often happens. The Talmud says “whoever saves a life, it is considered as if he saved an entire world.”There are opportunities every day, big and small, for us to rise to the challenges of life and act heroically.

If you or someone you know would benefit from the weekly Real Men Feel show, I encourage you to check out the show and spread the word about it. Strength comes from numbers and together, we can work to create a new, positive definition of what it means to be a man.

If you liked this post, please share it with those you feel will benefit from reading it. And please leave a comment about your own struggles and what you’ve done to overcome adversity.

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anthony simeoneAbout the Author
Anthony Simeone is a writer, speaker, and social activist with over two decades of experience studying the practical application of literature, philosophy, psychology, and other disciplines. The culmination of his work is the Live the Hero concept, which he offers as a life path for use in overcoming life’s daily obstacles. Live the Hero combines the wisdom found in the arts and humanities with the latest discoveries related to modern neuroscience. You can contact Anthony and learn more about his work at livethehero.com.