Real Men Feel: Ep. 98, Healing the Family Father Wound with Jed Diamond

Healing the Family Father Wound Episode 98, June 19, 2018

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant is joined by one of the world’s leading experts on men’s issues, Jed Diamond, Ph.D.

Jed has been a licensed psychotherapist for over 40 years and is the author of twelve books including Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome, his newest book tackles what Jed believes is one problem that surpasses all others in its impact on men, women, and society. That book is My Distant Dad: Healing the Family Father Wound.

“Disconnected males, without a strong sense of inner guidance, can become abusive towards women and destructive towards men.” ~Jed Diamond, Ph.D.

The father wound impacts four critical areas of our lives:

  • Our physical health
  • Our emotional health
  • Our relationship health
  • Our social and political health

The effects of growing up without a loving, engaged, father ripple through the generations and contribute to many of the most serious problems we face in our society today including:

  • Drug and alcohol abuse
  • Depression and suicide
  • Teen pregnancy
  • Sexual dysfunction, harassment, and addiction
  • Poverty
  • Divorce
  • Unhappy, loveless, sexless, and lifeless marriages
  • Crime, conflict, and violence
  • Fear and aggression between groups

Topics Covered Include:

  • Besides being a man, what got you to focus on men’s issues?
  • What is a father wound?
  • Can the family father wound by created by a father who is physically absent as well as a father who is emotionally absent?
  • Does anyone not have a father wound?
  • How doe the father wound impact our lives?
  • Does this wound effect only men?
  • What do children need from their father?
  • What are some of the effects of growing up without a present, loving father?
  • Months before the 2016 presidential election, you wrote an article “The Real Reason Donald Trump Will Be Our Next President” can you remind us of those reasons?
  • What has been most beneficial in your healing?

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According to the National Center for Fathering, “More than 20 million children live in a home without the physical presence of a father. Millions more have dads who are physically present, but emotionally absent. If it were classified as a disease, fatherlessness would be an epidemic worthy of attention as a national emergency.”

Read Jed’s latest book: My Distant Dad: Healing the Family Father Wound, published by Lasting Impact Press, an imprint of Connection Victory Publishing Company.

See all of Jed’s books

Connect with Jed at MenAlive.com

See Jed’s posts on GoodMenProject

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Real Men Feel with Jed Diamond

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 90, What is MGTOW?

What is MGTOW? with MGTOW Universe Episode 90, April 17, 2018

This week Andy Grant is joined by a man who goes by the name, “MGTOW Universe,” to share his thoughts on what MGTOW is and isn’t. If you aren’t familiar with the term, MGTOW stands for Men Going Their Own Way. This show is a follow up to Men Going Their Own Way with Anthony Simeone, which we did last month and got lots of comments on YouTube and Soundcloud. Even though most of them simply attacked and called me names, Real Men Feel did find some men we could engage with.

“To be a man today, when communicating with women, is extremely dangerous. It can destroy you.” ~MGTOW Universe

After hearing that MGTOW was a group of angry men who hate women and blame them for everything, Andy was eager to have a conversation with someone involved in MGTOW. At the core, MGTOW is concerned with male disposability and believes that society doesn’t care about men and that women are not held accountable. They think that any man who looks at the pros and cons of being in a relationship with a woman, removing all emotion, will see the sane and obvious choice is not to get involved.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What is MGTOW?
  • How did you first get involved with it?
  • Why do you hide your identity?
  • Do you speak for yourself or are you representing MGTOW?
  • Is there a leader or founder?
  • What is the goal of MGTOW?
  • Is this good for society?
  • This seems like a very defensive stance, why?
  • Is this an asexual or homosexual lifestyle?
  • What is your definition of feminism?
  • What would it take for you to believe that society cares about men?

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“We offer men and boys a world of traps. Most men will get fucked.” ~MGTOW Universe

MGTOW U says that we’ve been conditioned to believe that marriage is fulfilling, but emotions change — it is just too risky. Every relationship ends and most end in court which is a system that is entirely biased against men.

Sadly, MGTOWs don’t believe any of the problems they point out can be fixed, so they withdraw and “go their own way.” In the end, MGTOW struck Andy as an extremely pessimistic worldview, but he agreed with MU that society needs to listen to angry men; before it is too late.

See MGTOW Universe on YouTube, or connect with him on Twitter.

Other comments from MGTOWs:

it’s extremely clear that if a male can be happy as a single male..it is most prudent to adopt that as a life trait. If a male can be happy without any or any more children..it is most prudent to refrain from procreating.
And there you have the sum and total of the “MGTOW” mindset. It’s just Men with Feelings..who have certain Facts right.
For two generations we’ve raised girls to believe they don’t need men to be happy. Men go MGTOW and everyone loses their shit.
Here in mgtow we get attacked so much that the default position is defense.
Our goal is to help men find peace in a world that hates them.

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RMF with MGTOW Universe

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 89, Exploring Father Wounds and Mother Wounds with Rick Belden

Exploring Father Wounds and Mother Wounds with Rick Belden Episode 89, April 10, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author, poet, artist, and coach, Rick Belden, to discuss men and difficult relationships with their fathers (Father Wound) or mothers (Mother Wound).

“It is an iterative process. The wound and the healing. Both are in layers.” ~Rick Belden

A Father Wound or Mother Wound may be thought of as injury to the psyche of a child resulting from significant dysfunction or disruption in relationship with a parent. In some cases, it is the result of a parent’s absence or unavailability due to death, illness, adoption, or other circumstances that dramatically separate the child from the parent. But more typically, a Father Wound or Mother Wound is a complex of injuries to the child’s psyche received over many years, often as a result of the parent acting, consciously or not, out of his or her own woundedness.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What first got you first with men’s work?
  • What do you mean by father wound and mother wound?
  • Is one more prevalent than the other?
  • How do these wounds impact men?
  • Do all men have these wounds?
  • How did you get involved with poetry?
  • Is there a particular process for healing such wounds?
  • Tips on mindfulness and journaling.
  • The benefits Rick has experienced from being part of men’s groups.
  • The great example of a Father Wound found in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade.
  • We realized after the show that Ordinary People is a great movie to see a Mother Wound.

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“There are not nearly enough groups for men. Our culture would be transformed if any man could easily walk into a men’s group.” ~Rick Belden

You know you’re making headway when you can see your parents as individuals, not just as your parents. They are separate individuals with flaws, goals, motivations… they are human.

So much of this work is grief work. The entry is often anger, but getting into the grief of your childhood is the deepest work.

Check out Rick’s first book of poetry: Iron Man Family Outing: Poems about Transition into a More Conscious Manhood

You can learn more about Rick’s Coaching for Men at RickBeldenCoaching.com

#RealMenFeel

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Watch this episode on YouTube.

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Real Men Feel with Rick Belden