Real Men Feel: Ep. 83, Spare Me “The Talk”

Spare Me “The Talk” with Jo Langford Episode 83, February 27, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by therapist, sex educator, author, and dad, Jo Langford, to discuss talking with teenage boys about sex. The technology of today makes discussing sex with teens very different from what it was when you first heard “the talk.”

“Fear and ignorance around sexuality cause problems.” ~Jo Langford

If you have a teenage boy, there’s a 50 percent chance that he’s already sexually active, and a 33 percent chance that he’s been solicited by an online predator in the past year. How prepared is he for the risks and realities of sex?

Jo’s mission is to provide healthy social and sexual information to teens and their parents, in a multi-pronged approach consisting of live speaking events, books and a number of resources for youth, their families and other professionals around that intersection of adolescence, sexuality, and technology.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Did you have a fantastic sex talk with your dad as a kid that set you on this path?
  • The guys each share what their sex talks were like from their parents.
  • Does technology make discussing sex with teens different today when we were kids?
  • How does internet porn change what teens know when it comes to sex?
  • What do parents look out for that says it’s time for a discussion?
  • The positive aspects of porn.
  • Jo’s journey from peer counselor to sex educator.
  • Is there a common mistake parents make when it comes to talking about sex with their kids?
  • The widening language around gender and sexual identity.
  • The sort of calls Jo gets from panicked parents.
  • What are most parents doing well?

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Jo has a Spare Me “The Talk” book for boys and another version for girls. His upcoming book, The Pride Guide, is the first puberty book for queer and trans kids.

Half the battle is being an accessible parent.

Gender identity and sexual identity don’t necessarily go hand in hand. Only 48% of youth identify themselves as “exclusively heterosexual.”

Check out Jo’s book, Spare Me ‘The Talk’!: A Guy’s Guide to Sex, Relationships, and Growing Up
See all of Jo Langford’s books

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Learn more about Jo at BeHeroes.net

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Real Men Feel - Jo Langford

Spare Me

Real Men Feel: Ep. 82, Dads Behaving Dadly

Dads Behaving Dadly with Hogan Hilling Episode 82, February 20, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author, Hogan Hilling, to discuss the shifting roles of fatherhood. Hilling is the author of the Dads Behaving Dadly series and also the founder of the #WeLoveDads Campaign and United We Parent.

“One of the biggest assumptions is that a guy is a stay-at-home dad as a last resort. That he had no choice.” ~Hogan Hilling

Hogan’s mission is to dispel the unfair stigma of dads as incompetent parents and more importantly prove Fatherhood Is Alive and Well! He loved being a full-time caregiver to his kids, but everyone around him kept telling him it was wrong. He got tired of defending himself and having to justify his choices in ways stay-at-home moms never have to.

“I haven’t lost any masculinity by staying home!”

Topics Covered Include:

  • The stigma stay-at-home dads face.
  • What assumptions are made about stay-at-home dads?
  • The one thing Hogan focuses on as a father.
  • “Coming out of the pantry.”
  • Dads are not replacements for moms.
  • The power and benefits of dad support groups.
  • The danger and splintering of so many parent support groups.
  • What are the dynamics for stepdads?
  • What does behaving “dadly” mean?
  • What is Hogan’s best advice for new dads?
  • #WeLoveDads campaign
  • Dad Marketing

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There is still a bias that moms are much better parents than dads. That dads are inept as caregivers and parents. That is why many men are still hesitant to come out of the pantry.

All parents need to drop the adjectives before their names: stay-at-home dad, working mom, gay dad, stepfather…follow the leads of your kids who only introduce you as dad.

Check out Hogan’s book, Dads Behaving Dadly: 67 Truths, Tears and Triumphs of Modern Fatherhood
See all of Hogan’s books

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Real Men Feel ep 82

Real Men Feel: Ep. 79, Exploring The Men School

Exploring The Men School with Jan Darwin Hutchins Episode 79, February 6, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter discover the path to the creation of The Men School, a school dedicated to cultivating the divine masculine in all of us with Jan Darwin Hutchins.

“Why, after having been a lone wolf all my life, did I feel so alone?” ~Jan Darwin Hutchins

Jan was successful at a young age, living the dream as a TV sports anchor, yet he felt rather empty. In his 50s he realized he had made no real friends over his life. An experience witnessing the support a dying friend received from a men’s group made him realize he was not alone and that he could trust other men. He discovered there was an initiation he could do to become one of those men. Jan did it and confirmed that he was not alone, didn’t need to be alone and could trust men.

“The problem with life is there is no end to the problems.”

Topics Covered Include:

  • Jan’s background including TV news, politics, yoga and more.
  • What lead to the creation of The Men School?
  • The masks we all wear.
  • The need for and benefits of doing the inner work.
  • The power of men’s groups.
  • The current state of The Men’s School and plans for the future.
  • Do we ever graduate from Men School?
  • Jan shares some research on wolves in Yellowstone.
  • OKness and presence.
  • The MankindProject
  • How does a man find his truth?
  • Is life simple or hard?

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All three men answer the question: If there was one thing you could teach or make all men aware of, what would it be?

TheMenSchool
“We are a learning community cultivating the sacred deep masculine in us all.”
As social animals, we require a source of stabilization from outside ourselves. Our shared connections and, co-corrections, literally keep us sane.

TheMenSchool is here to:
—keep learning to model the divine masculine
—see you excel in your individual life

When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time.~Byron Katie

Check out Robert Johnson’s book, We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love
Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 78, Working Through Upset and Reactions

Working Through Upset and Reactions Episode 78, January 30, 2018

This week Andy Grant goes solo with a member of the RMF private Facebook group who was upset with him and wanted to leave the group.

True to the title of the show, we bring some internal upset out into the light.

Last month, in the private Real Men Feel group on Facebook, one of our men took offense with something that Andy shared there. It was a video from a group of guys called The Try Guys.

Andy says: I had shared a video from them before and it was well received. I admit I hesitated about this but obviously decided to post it. The first comment on the video in the group was – “This is disgusting. I’m leaving the group.”

I was horrified that something I shared had driven a man to leave. It was a man I don’t recall ever speaking up before which made me feel even worse. I wondered what to do, to leave it be, reach out to him… I noticed he hadn’t left yet so I asked via reply to his comment if he would be willing to come on RMF in 2018 to talk about this.

He agreed. So here we are.

Comments in group

 

Topics Covered Include:

  • What offended you about that video?
  • The positives and negatives of Facebook.
  • Stereotypes about masculinity.
  • Andy’s reaction to Steve saying he was leaving the group.
  • What drew you to the Real Men Feel group to begin with?
  • Had Steve ever listened to this show?
  • The courage it takes to speak up.
  • The coolest thing Steve’s learned from all the men’s groups he’s in.
  • The struggle of knowing what masculinity is.
  • Steve’s definition of masculinity.
  • Steve’s background and personal story.
  • The benefits of being in a men’s group.
  • What’s the least “manly” thing you do?

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Here is the video in that brought up the turmoil.

Steve shares a great deal about his journey and why he questioned his manhood and what makes someone a man.

“Those guys who have it all together, he’s so manly, he’s so cool… once you get to know them they’ve got just as many issues as you do. All men are created equal.” ~Steve

Being a man means you doubt being a man at some point.

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Real Men Feel ep. 78

Real Men Feel: Ep. 77, Celebrating Masculine Power

Celebrating Masculine Power Episode 77, January 23, 2018

At a time when masculinity seems under attack, it is important to remember that good men owning their power can be a fantastic positive force for everyone. This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by fulfillment coach and speaker, Sean-Patrick Maher, to discuss how men can embrace their power and create deeper connections with themselves and others.

A key to men owning their power is operating more from their heart and less from their head.

The conversation begins with Andy sharing that he blew off Sean-Patrick last year, but that he was impressed by Sean-Patrick’s reaction and was eager to get him on the show once Real Men Feel was flowing again. The interaction was a great example of men communication with openness and honesty.

“Being grounded, heart-centered, and connected to all parts of myself is the greatest gift I can give to the world.” ~Sean-Patrick Maher

Topics Covered Include:

  • Authenticity and integrity
  • The fear of showing up in our full “manness” today
  • The importance of operating from the heart over the head
  • Awareness
  • How to get into your heart
  • What Sean-Patrick was taught about being a man
  • What being an integrated man means
  • The Heart-Math Institute
  • Toxic masculinity and the fear that all expression of masculinity is labeled “toxic”
  • The power and problems of labels
  • The MankindProject

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Masculine energy is not only domination and patriarchy. That is a distorted aspect of masculine energy. An excellent discussion unfolded on labels, language, masculine/feminine, and mindset. Allowing ourselves and others to flow on a spectrum of labels can be liberating, but if we ever think we ARE the label, that brings trouble.

Being an integrated man, allowing full access to our femininity and seeing the strength of our masculinity as equally beautiful and powerful is the sweet spot.

“Let our hearts be the laison for everything entering and exiting our field.” ~Sean-Patrick Maher

Check out Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

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Learn more about Sean-Patrick at SeanPatrickMaher.com

More on this theme – You’ve Got a Goddess Inside You, Chuck!

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Follow your heart


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Real Men Feel: Episode 65, Real Men Can Feel Suicidal

Real Men Can Feel Suicidal Episode 65, August 18, 2017

Real Men Feel host Andy Grant goes solo again to share some personal insights as well as a few tools for dealing with depression and negative or suicidal thinking.

Andy opens up regarding some recent conversations, discoveries, admissions and rationalizations. He also shares three simple yet powerful tools that anyone can use to help deal with negative or suicidal thinking. The tools include pivoting, witnessing and expressing.

Life is meant to be simple and enjoyed. Make choices that result in you enjoying life more.

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Real Men Can Feel Depressed

Real Men Feel: Episode 64, Real Men Feel Disappointment in Themselves

Real Men Feel Disappointment in Themselves Episode 64, August 15, 2017

Real Men Feel returns after 9 weeks with Andy Grant going solo to explain where he’s been.

Real men feel lost, alone, desperate, apathetic, and everything else. Real men feel like shit. Real men can feel like they are not real. They can question whether they are men. Real men feel – or can feel  – disappointed in themselves. I know all this is true, because that is how I’ve been feeling for many months.~ Andy Grant

Andy comes up for air after trying to overdose on apathy and attempts to explain the feelings of disappointment that can lead to attraction of his own demise.

If you’ve listened to this episode, here is a bit of closure to some of what Andy shared.
On July 3rd we were told my dad had days to weeks to live and my wife and I decided we couldn’t sell our home and deal with that at the same time. Especially since moving into my dad’s home for his last few months to care for him was one possible landing spot for us, so we pulled our house off the market.
And Sadie is okay, she’s on medication and has had seizures once since the original night. We’ve learned dog’s having seizures is much more common than we knew.

Andy’s earlier related posts: Sharing From My Low Point and Dealing with a Dad with Dementia.

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Photo by whoislimos on Unsplash

Photo by whoislimos on Unsplash

Real Men Feel: Episode 62, The Challenge of Intimacy with Rev. Jody Bailey

Real Men Feel: Intimacy

The Challenge of Intimacy with Rev. Jody Bailey, Episode 62, May 30, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by speaker, author and coach, Rev. Jody Bailey, to help men embrace intimacy and tap into their core life force energy for health, wealth and happiness.

We explore what intimacy is. That it is different from sexuality, and all the areas of life intimacy shows up in. Jody shares some of the most common challenges men have to intimacy which include social conditioning and fear. The fear of intimacy is much bigger than the fear of sex.

Authenticity is beautiful. Vulnerability is attractive. 

Jody also shares a great exercise to develop more self-love by standing naked in front of a mirror. Appio has done this and talks about his experience. 

Connect with Rev Jody on Facebook: facebook.com/jodyspeaksinc

See her The Erotic Life blog and The Erotic Life Podcast.

Check out the hi device, Jody mentioned.

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Feel: Episode 61, Finding Hope with Psychological Theorist, Vito Mucci

Finding Hope with Psychological Theorist, Vito Mucci Episode 61, May 23, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author and co-host of Divine Union TV, Vito Mucci, to talk about finding hope. This isn’t airy-fairy stuff. Vito is all about science and psychology for everybody as he shares lessons learned from spending eight years at rock bottom.

Andy shares how triggered he was when first coming across Vito on Facebook. Vito then describes what being a psychological theorist means to him. The bulk of the show is about Vito’s eight years of being at rock bottom and attempting to use alcohol to control his emotions.

“Life is pretty adept at beating us down.” ~Vito Mucci

Vito believes alcohol did indeed save his life. He longed for some way to feel safe and alcohol was that safety for a long time. Drinking gave him a sense of control over his emotions.

The beginning of hope comes from not denying our emotions, but in allowing them.

Validate and celebrate all your little successes, those are the embers of hope.

Check out Vito’s book Coffee for Consciousness.

Connect with Vito on Facebook: facebook.com/vito.mucci
facebook.com/Divine-Union-TV-263163274114518/

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Real Men Feel: Episode 60, The Principles of Joy with Appio Hunter

Real Men Feel Joy

The Principles of Joy Episode 60, May 16, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel Andy Grant and Appio Hunter revisit Appio’s connection with Source Energy as he shares five universal Principles that can shape the daily experience of clarity, inner peace, self-love, and joy.

The Principles of Joy have been renamed the Tenets of Joy. They were channeled from Source, the Collective known as Samuel, that Appio works with.
Tenet – any opinion, principle, doctrine, dogma, etc., especially one held as true by members of a profession, group, or movement.

1. You are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness but your own.
2. Your human experience is your ultimate expression of joy.
3. The experience of joy is as natural as breathing.
4. Every emotion you feel is an expression of the totality of your existence.
5. When you are joyous the Universe celebrates with you.

The discussion of joy also explores joys gone too far that become addictions. Addictions result from avoidance of something, they are not true joy.

Real Men Feel Joy

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Learn more about Appio at: http://www.appiohunter.com/

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