Real Men Feel: Ep. 36, Men In Support of Women

Real Men Feel

Men In Support of Women, Episode 36, November 22, 2016

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant, Appio Hunter and guests have a spirited discussion around sexism, bigotry, and white male privilege. How can men support people who are living in fear?

We’d been planning a RMF show to tackle hate speech between men and women. This was suggested by a female fan before the presidential election. Now, the hate speech really has escalated as a fearful, hate-filled minority is feeling very empowered and assaulting (verbally and physically) women, immigrants (meaning anyone not white), and LBGTQ people. This episode’s title was originally called “Men Vs. Women”, but here has been more than enough of that. I have now dubbed it “Men In Support of Women” and I’m inviting you to join in and add a comment here, or anywhere you see this episode, saying something, anything, supportive of those who are scared.

Men, be willing to speak up, offer support, an ear, a shoulder… be willing.
Eventually, hopefully, we will just be people in support of people.

#StandUpMan #RealMenFeel

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If you...

Anger, by David Whyte from his book, Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words

ANGER is the deepest form of compassion, for another, for the world, for the self, for a life, for the body, for a family and for all our ideals, all vulnerable and all, possibly about to be hurt. Stripped of physical imprisonment and violent reaction, anger is the purest form of care, the internal living flame of anger always illuminates what we belong to, what we wish to protect and what we are willing to hazard ourselves for. What we usually call anger is only what is left of its essence when we are overwhelmed by its accompanying vulnerability, when it reaches the lost surface of our mind or our body’s incapacity to hold it, or when it touches the limits of our understanding. What we name as anger is actually only the incoherent physical incapacity to sustain this deep form of care in our outer daily life; the unwillingness to be large enough and generous enough to hold what we love helplessly in our bodies or our mind with the clarity and breadth of our whole being.

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Where Are The Men?

This fantastic video has gone viral all over Facebook recently. Check out this call to men from Chaim Dunbar and Rare Media.

Here we are: Real Men Feel. Join us.

I am thrilled to announce that Chaim Dunbar will be appearing on the Real Men Feel show on Tuesday, August 16.

Men, do you hear the call? Where do you stand?
#WhereAreTheMen
#HereAreTheMen

Real Men Feel with Chaim Dunbar

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About The Author
Andy GrantAndy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Akashic Records Reader and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Infinite Possibilities and Reiki, as well as other leadership programs and energy work modalities.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing, and is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. He also facilitates monthly men’s groups. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we as human beings can feel, and he is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be. Learn more about Andy at NavitasCoach.com

It’s Time to Be Your Brother’s Keeper

cainandabelkillYou know the story of Cain and Abel, right? Even if the Bible isn’t your thing (because you follow another religion, you’re an atheist, whatever), most of us in the Western world know the legend of the first murder.

In short: Abel and Cain, first children of Adam and Eve. Abel served up animal sacrifices to God, while Cain offered plants. God seemed to prefer what Abel was dishing out. Cain gets jealous, decides to kill Abel (one theory suggests Cain thought God would like a human sacrifice, something even more precious than a lamb).

Cain kills Abel with, um, the jawbone of an ass (my theory: this is a metaphor for Cain acting like an ass, whining/”jawing” at his brother until Abel died of boredom). God comes looking for Abel, and asks Cain about Abel’s whereabouts (another theory: God knew where Abel was because, well, he’s God, and was testing Cain to see if he had any redeeming qualities by admitting his guilt).

What was Cain’s reply to God? “I don’t know. Am I my brother’s keeper?” (I imagine him being very sarcastic about that)

I imagine God would have told Cain YES, you ARE supposed to be your brother’s keeper. But, sadly, nothing seemed to change after that first murder. Men have long been competing with, fighting, and killing each other. Much to our detriment and sorrow, right up to today.

MEN, WE NEED TO FLIP THE SCRIPT FROM COMPETITION TO COOPERATION.

As I always say when I go on one of my social change activist rants, this isn’t some wishy-washy, touchy-feely kumbaya suggestion. This is a matter of urgent and practical necessity.

The first rule of Fight Club? Don't join Fight Club.

The first rule of Fight Club? Don’t join Fight Club.

It may be no secret that men lead the charge when it comes to death from suicide, heart disease, violent crime, drug use, and on and on. But many of us ignore a big underlying cause of the destructive behaviors that result in male mortality: rampant extreme competition.

Western culture, especially in the United States, tends to train men to see each other as competitors. And while a healthy level of competitiveness is good for us and drives us to be better, there is a toxic version of competition many of us have been taught.

My own father always stressed that it was a “dog-eat-dog world” in which I was never to trust anyone. Other men were just out there to mess with you, take your stuff, and generally screw you over.

But we’re more than animals (no matter how often people try to tell us different). I like to say human beings are both apes and angels: the ape represents our evolutionary primate survival mechanisms, and the angel is our ability to rationalize and create works of art. Both sides of our nature are vital to our survival. The tension between the two keeps us striving, moving forward, and help us avoid stagnation.

But when we rely too much on either the ape or the angel, we throw things out of balance and we no longer grow.

This means, as men, we aren’t destined to just be at each other’s throats, eternally clawing for supremacy to become the cliched “alpha male.” Our culture’s fixation on males vying to Friendsdominate and destroy each other CAN be changed. It’s just another bad societal habit that we can work out.

When you hear the pundits lament the fact that our nation is no longer innovating, you can bet a leading cause of that apathy is over-competitive men suppressing each other (not to mention suppressing the advancement of women’s equality, but that’s a topic for another post).

Men need to work together to cultivate a healthy balance of competition and cooperation. We need to see each other as brothers, whether we share common genetics or not.

The time is NOW. Be your brother’s keeper, and let’s keep each other alive and thriving!

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anthony simeoneAbout the Author
Anthony Simeone is a writer, speaker, personal development activist, and social change warrior with over two decades of experience studying the practical application of literature, philosophy, psychology, and other disciplines. The culmination of his work is the Live the Hero concept, which he offers as a life path for use in overcoming life’s daily obstacles. Live the Hero combines the wisdom found in the arts and humanities with the latest discoveries related to modern neuroscience. You can contact Anthony and learn more about his work at livethehero.com.