Real Men Feel: Ep. 82, Dads Behaving Dadly

Dads Behaving Dadly with Hogan Hilling Episode 82, February 20, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author, Hogan Hilling, to discuss the shifting roles of fatherhood. Hilling is the author of the Dads Behaving Dadly series and also the founder of the #WeLoveDads Campaign and United We Parent.

“One of the biggest assumptions is that a guy is a stay-at-home dad as a last resort. That he had no choice.” ~Hogan Hilling

Hogan’s mission is to dispel the unfair stigma of dads as incompetent parents and more importantly prove Fatherhood Is Alive and Well! He loved being a full-time caregiver to his kids, but everyone around him kept telling him it was wrong. He got tired of defending himself and having to justify his choices in ways stay-at-home moms never have to.

“I haven’t lost any masculinity by staying home!”

Topics Covered Include:

  • The stigma stay-at-home dads face.
  • What assumptions are made about stay-at-home dads?
  • The one thing Hogan focuses on as a father.
  • “Coming out of the pantry.”
  • Dads are not replacements for moms.
  • The power and benefits of dad support groups.
  • The danger and splintering of so many parent support groups.
  • What are the dynamics for stepdads?
  • What does behaving “dadly” mean?
  • What is Hogan’s best advice for new dads?
  • #WeLoveDads campaign
  • Dad Marketing

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There is still a bias that moms are much better parents than dads. That dads are inept as caregivers and parents. That is why many men are still hesitant to come out of the pantry.

All parents need to drop the adjectives before their names: stay-at-home dad, working mom, gay dad, stepfather…follow the leads of your kids who only introduce you as dad.

Check out Hogan’s book, Dads Behaving Dadly: 67 Truths, Tears and Triumphs of Modern Fatherhood
See all of Hogan’s books

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Real Men Feel ep 82

Real Men Feel: Ep. 79, Exploring The Men School

Exploring The Men School with Jan Darwin Hutchins Episode 79, February 6, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter discover the path to the creation of The Men School, a school dedicated to cultivating the divine masculine in all of us with Jan Darwin Hutchins.

“Why, after having been a lone wolf all my life, did I feel so alone?” ~Jan Darwin Hutchins

Jan was successful at a young age, living the dream as a TV sports anchor, yet he felt rather empty. In his 50s he realized he had made no real friends over his life. An experience witnessing the support a dying friend received from a men’s group made him realize he was not alone and that he could trust other men. He discovered there was an initiation he could do to become one of those men. Jan did it and confirmed that he was not alone, didn’t need to be alone and could trust men.

“The problem with life is there is no end to the problems.”

Topics Covered Include:

  • Jan’s background including TV news, politics, yoga and more.
  • What lead to the creation of The Men School?
  • The masks we all wear.
  • The need for and benefits of doing the inner work.
  • The power of men’s groups.
  • The current state of The Men’s School and plans for the future.
  • Do we ever graduate from Men School?
  • Jan shares some research on wolves in Yellowstone.
  • OKness and presence.
  • The MankindProject
  • How does a man find his truth?
  • Is life simple or hard?

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All three men answer the question: If there was one thing you could teach or make all men aware of, what would it be?

TheMenSchool
“We are a learning community cultivating the sacred deep masculine in us all.”
As social animals, we require a source of stabilization from outside ourselves. Our shared connections and, co-corrections, literally keep us sane.

TheMenSchool is here to:
—keep learning to model the divine masculine
—see you excel in your individual life

When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time.~Byron Katie

Check out Robert Johnson’s book, We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love
Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 78, Working Through Upset and Reactions

Working Through Upset and Reactions Episode 78, January 30, 2018

This week Andy Grant goes solo with a member of the RMF private Facebook group who was upset with him and wanted to leave the group.

True to the title of the show, we bring some internal upset out into the light.

Last month, in the private Real Men Feel group on Facebook, one of our men took offense with something that Andy shared there. It was a video from a group of guys called The Try Guys.

Andy says: I had shared a video from them before and it was well received. I admit I hesitated about this but obviously decided to post it. The first comment on the video in the group was – “This is disgusting. I’m leaving the group.”

I was horrified that something I shared had driven a man to leave. It was a man I don’t recall ever speaking up before which made me feel even worse. I wondered what to do, to leave it be, reach out to him… I noticed he hadn’t left yet so I asked via reply to his comment if he would be willing to come on RMF in 2018 to talk about this.

He agreed. So here we are.

Comments in group

 

Topics Covered Include:

  • What offended you about that video?
  • The positives and negatives of Facebook.
  • Stereotypes about masculinity.
  • Andy’s reaction to Steve saying he was leaving the group.
  • What drew you to the Real Men Feel group to begin with?
  • Had Steve ever listened to this show?
  • The courage it takes to speak up.
  • The coolest thing Steve’s learned from all the men’s groups he’s in.
  • The struggle of knowing what masculinity is.
  • Steve’s definition of masculinity.
  • Steve’s background and personal story.
  • The benefits of being in a men’s group.
  • What’s the least “manly” thing you do?

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Here is the video in that brought up the turmoil.

Steve shares a great deal about his journey and why he questioned his manhood and what makes someone a man.

“Those guys who have it all together, he’s so manly, he’s so cool… once you get to know them they’ve got just as many issues as you do. All men are created equal.” ~Steve

Being a man means you doubt being a man at some point.

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Real Men Feel ep. 78

Real Men Feel: Ep. 77, Celebrating Masculine Power

Celebrating Masculine Power Episode 77, January 23, 2018

At a time when masculinity seems under attack, it is important to remember that good men owning their power can be a fantastic positive force for everyone. This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by fulfillment coach and speaker, Sean-Patrick Maher, to discuss how men can embrace their power and create deeper connections with themselves and others.

A key to men owning their power is operating more from their heart and less from their head.

The conversation begins with Andy sharing that he blew off Sean-Patrick last year, but that he was impressed by Sean-Patrick’s reaction and was eager to get him on the show once Real Men Feel was flowing again. The interaction was a great example of men communication with openness and honesty.

“Being grounded, heart-centered, and connected to all parts of myself is the greatest gift I can give to the world.” ~Sean-Patrick Maher

Topics Covered Include:

  • Authenticity and integrity
  • The fear of showing up in our full “manness” today
  • The importance of operating from the heart over the head
  • Awareness
  • How to get into your heart
  • What Sean-Patrick was taught about being a man
  • What being an integrated man means
  • The Heart-Math Institute
  • Toxic masculinity and the fear that all expression of masculinity is labeled “toxic”
  • The power and problems of labels
  • The MankindProject

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Masculine energy is not only domination and patriarchy. That is a distorted aspect of masculine energy. An excellent discussion unfolded on labels, language, masculine/feminine, and mindset. Allowing ourselves and others to flow on a spectrum of labels can be liberating, but if we ever think we ARE the label, that brings trouble.

Being an integrated man, allowing full access to our femininity and seeing the strength of our masculinity as equally beautiful and powerful is the sweet spot.

“Let our hearts be the laison for everything entering and exiting our field.” ~Sean-Patrick Maher

Check out Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

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Learn more about Sean-Patrick at SeanPatrickMaher.com

More on this theme – You’ve Got a Goddess Inside You, Chuck!

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Follow your heart


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