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Posted on by Anthony Simeone

It’s Time to Be Your Brother’s Keeper

cainandabelkillYou know the story of Cain and Abel, right? Even if the Bible isn’t your thing (because you follow another religion, you’re an atheist, whatever), most of us in the Western world know the legend of the first murder.

In short: Abel and Cain, first children of Adam and Eve. Abel served up animal sacrifices to God, while Cain offered plants. God seemed to prefer what Abel was dishing out. Cain gets jealous, decides to kill Abel (one theory suggests Cain thought God would like a human sacrifice, something even more precious than a lamb).

Cain kills Abel with, um, the jawbone of an ass (my theory: this is a metaphor for Cain acting like an ass, whining/”jawing” at his brother until Abel died of boredom). God comes looking for Abel, and asks Cain about Abel’s whereabouts (another theory: God knew where Abel was because, well, he’s God, and was testing Cain to see if he had any redeeming qualities by admitting his guilt).

What was Cain’s reply to God? “I don’t know. Am I my brother’s keeper?” (I imagine him being very sarcastic about that)

I imagine God would have told Cain YES, you ARE supposed to be your brother’s keeper. But, sadly, nothing seemed to change after that first murder. Men have long been competing with, fighting, and killing each other. Much to our detriment and sorrow, right up to today.

MEN, WE NEED TO FLIP THE SCRIPT FROM COMPETITION TO COOPERATION.

As I always say when I go on one of my social change activist rants, this isn’t some wishy-washy, touchy-feely kumbaya suggestion. This is a matter of urgent and practical necessity.

The first rule of Fight Club? Don't join Fight Club.

The first rule of Fight Club? Don’t join Fight Club.

It may be no secret that men lead the charge when it comes to death from suicide, heart disease, violent crime, drug use, and on and on. But many of us ignore a big underlying cause of the destructive behaviors that result in male mortality: rampant extreme competition.

Western culture, especially in the United States, tends to train men to see each other as competitors. And while a healthy level of competitiveness is good for us and drives us to be better, there is a toxic version of competition many of us have been taught.

My own father always stressed that it was a “dog-eat-dog world” in which I was never to trust anyone. Other men were just out there to mess with you, take your stuff, and generally screw you over.

But we’re more than animals (no matter how often people try to tell us different). I like to say human beings are both apes and angels: the ape represents our evolutionary primate survival mechanisms, and the angel is our ability to rationalize and create works of art. Both sides of our nature are vital to our survival. The tension between the two keeps us striving, moving forward, and help us avoid stagnation.

But when we rely too much on either the ape or the angel, we throw things out of balance and we no longer grow.

This means, as men, we aren’t destined to just be at each other’s throats, eternally clawing for supremacy to become the cliched “alpha male.” Our culture’s fixation on males vying to Friendsdominate and destroy each other CAN be changed. It’s just another bad societal habit that we can work out.

When you hear the pundits lament the fact that our nation is no longer innovating, you can bet a leading cause of that apathy is over-competitive men suppressing each other (not to mention suppressing the advancement of women’s equality, but that’s a topic for another post).

Men need to work together to cultivate a healthy balance of competition and cooperation. We need to see each other as brothers, whether we share common genetics or not.

The time is NOW. Be your brother’s keeper, and let’s keep each other alive and thriving!

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anthony simeoneAbout the Author
Anthony Simeone is a writer, speaker, personal development activist, and social change warrior with over two decades of experience studying the practical application of literature, philosophy, psychology, and other disciplines. The culmination of his work is the Live the Hero concept, which he offers as a life path for use in overcoming life’s daily obstacles. Live the Hero combines the wisdom found in the arts and humanities with the latest discoveries related to modern neuroscience. You can contact Anthony and learn more about his work at livethehero.com.

Posted on by Anthony Simeone

Let’s Rewrite the Rules of Manhood Together

man-in-crowdYou know something’s wrong. You can feel it.

Like Neo in The Matrix, you know things aren’t the way they’re supposed to be. But we’re not talking about the world around you. There’s something happening with your inner world. It has you frustrated, restless, unhappy. But knowing about the wrongness hasn’t made it better. In fact, it’s made things worse.

I’ve been there, trust me. For decades, I wandered through my own life without a purpose. I often felt useless, no matter what I achieved. It took a lot of time and suffering before I began to suspect I was running on obsolete “social software.”

Like me, maybe you fell for the notion that men are supposed to be pillars of strength that don’t feel too much, think too much, or dream too big. Maybe you were taught the world is a nasty, dog-eat-dog place where dreams are a luxury we can’t afford. This worldview may have sent you into a downward spiral of isolation and depression.

Maybe, like me, you’ve never really given up hope that things could be different.

A New Man for This Century…and Beyond

The opening line of Allen Ginsberg‘s Howl says “I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness.” I saw this line played out too many times in my own life and the lives of men around me. Finally, I realized the madness was being taught to us, blindly passed down because “that’s just the way it is.”

I’d had enough. I waded through years of struggle and a lot of trial-and-error experimentation with different religions, philosophies, and therapies. It wasn’t until I brought together ideas from a wide variety of teachings that I discovered something that worked for me.

What I discovered is, ultimately, you must start by being the hero of your own life.

You must make the conscious choice to believe in your own personal power to determine your own purpose and meaning for your life. It’s the vital first step on the road to fulfillment and happiness.

I’m so inspired by the creators of Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter. They’re kindred spirits to me and any other modern man who is tired of laboring under the stereotype of the macho man. They are fellow travelers on the road.

Most importantly, Andy and Appio have planted the seed of what I believe will become a community of men who can no longer sit back and keep silent about men’s issues. Like me, they want to give you alternatives to the male stereotype we’ve been slaving under for too long. That old framework is rotted out, and together we can build something better to replace it.

What Have You Got to Lose?

It’s not just our minds that are at risk. Our lives are also at stake. Approximately 87 men commit suicide every day in the United States. Over six million men suffer from a major bout of depression every year, which not only affects the mind but the body as well (it’s a contributing factor for heart disease).

Let’s be clear: I’m not talking about saving the world. I’m talking about saving you.

But when you save yourself, a funny thing often happens. The Talmud says “whoever saves a life, it is considered as if he saved an entire world.”There are opportunities every day, big and small, for us to rise to the challenges of life and act heroically.

If you or someone you know would benefit from the weekly Real Men Feel show, I encourage you to check out the show and spread the word about it. Strength comes from numbers and together, we can work to create a new, positive definition of what it means to be a man.

If you liked this post, please share it with those you feel will benefit from reading it. And please leave a comment about your own struggles and what you’ve done to overcome adversity.

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anthony simeoneAbout the Author
Anthony Simeone is a writer, speaker, and social activist with over two decades of experience studying the practical application of literature, philosophy, psychology, and other disciplines. The culmination of his work is the Live the Hero concept, which he offers as a life path for use in overcoming life’s daily obstacles. Live the Hero combines the wisdom found in the arts and humanities with the latest discoveries related to modern neuroscience. You can contact Anthony and learn more about his work at livethehero.com.