Real Men Feel: Ep. 76, Praising the President or Trumpeting Trump

Men Praising President Trump Episode 76, January 16, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter invited supporters of President Trump to join them for an hour of conversation and listening. It was challenging to find men willing to speak up and be seen; many feel under attack for their political views. We promised to ask questions and listen. Our goal was an open and honest conversation among men.

Great thanks and appreciation to our guests, Buddy Carchide of New Hampshire, and Tony Crisostomo of Arizona, for taking part in this experiment, as well as to all the men who considered being on the show. We hit a lot of different topics and could have continued talking for hours.

“Biggest problem is that there is NO discussion, just name calling. The art of conversation has been lost. We all want to make a better country.”

Questions Included:

  • When did you get on board with candidate Donald Trump?
  • Is building a wall along our southern border a priority to you?
  • What are you proudest or happiest with regarding the Trump administration in its first year?
  • What are you most disappointed in or by?
  • What are your thoughts on “Fake News?”
  • Regarding the investigations into Russian meddling in the election and possible collusion with the Trump campaign – do you think there is anything there?
  • What about the current controversy over Trump’s alleged “shithole” comments?
  • What do you feel is the biggest issue the President has yet to address?
  • What are you most looking forward to in the next year of this administration?
  • Do you think politics in general and the presidency, in particular, are changed forever?
  • Will we ever go back to a career politician, who acts “presidential”?

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Our guests have been Trump fans from the very start and saw him as someone who says what he’ll do and does what he says. Putting America first is not selfish or Naziism. They admire that President Trump doesn’t care what anyone thinks about him, and they are glad he’s on Twitter, talking directly to the people.

The guys don’t like being called racist, bigot, or homophobe. “I just have a different way to get to the same place. We all want to improve our country.”

“We have much love and much respect for all the country. Our differences make us great. We are all part of the American soul.”

Everyone involved wished for more understanding.

Our conversation was rambunctious and surprisingly laugh-filled. We can all get along.

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Official Portrait of President Donald Trump
By Shealah Craighead – https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/10/31/white-house-releases-official-portraits-president-donald-j-trump-and, Public Domain, Link


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Real Men Feel: Ep. 75, Reactions to Sexual Harassment, #MeToo and #TimesUp

Real Men Feel: Reactions to Sexual Harassment, #MeToo and #TimesUp Episode 75, January 9, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter lead their second open call to discuss the tsunami of sexual harassment charges and the aftermath. Last month the discussion was among five men, this time we opened the call up to women as well.

Since our first conversation, sexual misconduct charges have swept the ESPN, NFL Network, Celebrity chefs, the New York City Ballet, London’s Royal Philharmonic … it has only been three months since the first accusations against Harvey Weinstein were made public. This is so far beyond any industry or workplace. This is impacting every part of society.

Director Morgan Spurlock owned up to his past bad behavior before any public accusations were made because of the anxiety he felt waiting for him to become the next man down. In the last month, Al Franken has left the Senate, and Roy Moore lost his bid to join the Senate.

We being by discussing what will society look like once the backlash calms down with Kenny Earl, Boysen Hodgson, and Lori Grant. What might the new standard be once we reach a balance point? It will probably be once women realize harassment is no longer happening, but how long will it take? Might sexual harassment be as antiquated as an 8-track tape someday?


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The conversation touches on the toxicity of social media, Sebastian Junger’s book Tribe, the notion of men not being evolved, and the entrenchment of patriarchy (not only among men).

The problem isn’t men in power. It is so many broken men in power. ~Andy Grant

One suggestion for men to realize how pervasive sexual harassment is is for one day at work not say anything to a woman that they wouldn’t say to a man.

Our lone female participant did not appreciate using the term backlash for men who have raped and assaulted women. Raping someone twenty years ago, but not having it come out until today doesn’t make it okay.

That’s not backlash, that’s fricking justice – Lori Grant

If you haven’t seen Oprah’s speech at the Golden Globes, it is worth watching. And if you have seen it, it’s worth watching again.
https://www.facebook.com/oprahmagazine/videos/10150951415064944/

Men, we need you to be phenomenal.

phe·nom·e·nal/fəˈnämənəl/ — adjective

  • 1. very remarkable; extraordinary: “the town expanded at a phenomenal rate” synonyms: remarkable, exceptional, extraordinary, amazing, astonishing, … more antonyms: ordinary
  • 2. perceptible by the senses or through immediate experience: “the phenomenal world.”

Resources and References

Justin Baldoni – Why I’m Done Trying To Be Man Enough

Vanity Fair – Brotopia: Silicon Valley Secretive Orgiastic Inner Sanctum

Men Accused Since Weinstein

Learn more about Time’s Up and add your name to the Letter of Solidarity.

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Times Up

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 74, Endings and Beginnings

Endings and Beginnings with Pete Cossaboon Episode 74, January 3, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter say goodbye to 2017 and welcomes in a new year with returning guest, The Angel Encourager – Pete Cossaboon. Pete is an angelic healer and motivator, and you’ll get an experience of that in this show.

Most people see their life as a series of beginnings and endings, starting over, making resolutions of things to stop or change. What is there was another way, a different perspective?

Pete brings additional guests as three Archangels (Haniel, Azrael, and Chamuel) come through and lead a potent meditation to kick off this episode.

Haniel reminds us about ebb and flow. There are no endings and beginnings – it is all flow.
Azrael gets a bad rap as the “death angel.” He helps with grief, sorrow, and letting go. People try to hang on to the known even if they don’t like it. The new is scary.
Chamuel is the angel of lost and found. Many people feel something is lost with endings. We are all connected, there is nothing to lose.

The angels are our helpers. They have no judgment.

The discussion also touches on the negative slant to resolutions, letting go with gratitude, the power of rituals and a reminder that joy is our natural state.

We are already victorious, just being born. ~Pete Cossaboon

Make A Happiness Jar
https://www.wikihow.com/Keep-a-Happiness-Jar

One of Andy’s favorite rituals or New Years or anytime:

  1. On New Year’s Day (or anytime in the first few days of the year), take out a piece of paper and write a list of everything that you want to let go of from 2017. These can include habits, behaviors, limiting beliefs, fears, physical conditions, feelings of resentment, conflicts, or thoughts that don’t serve you.
  2. Then thank all those items on that list for having been with you and for all the lessons learned and ways you grew from them.
  3. Next make a clear statement of letting go such as: I now let go of all these things and anything else that no longer serves me and my highest good as I step into a glorious 2018.
  4. Then gather around a fire in a fireplace and throw the paper in to be burned. If you don’t have a fireplace or outside fire pit, you can CAREFULLY burn it in a large stainless steel bowl.
  5. Then speak out loud everything you’re grateful for from the past year — the joys, celebrations, accomplishments, lessons learned, and “growth” experiences. Offer those into the fire to be amplified.
  6. And now it’s time to call in what you’d like to bring forward in 2018 — so speak out loud everything that you welcome into your vision of the New Year—the intentions, beliefs, behaviors, relationships and everything else that you will embrace. Offer those into the fire to ignite the new.

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Connect with Pete at facebook.com/TheAngelEncourager

Check out Pete’s online class Radical Spirituality with the Cardinal Archangels

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 73, Real Men Can Fall Into Depression and Rise Again

Real Men Can Fall Into Depression and Rise Again Episode 73, December 15, 2017

In this episode Andy Grant is joined by Gabriel DiCristofaro for a discussion about some common experiences they’ve had. Experiences of despising their lives and also of loving life. They touch on the dangers of comparison, stress, feeling hopeless and helpless, being “locked up”, diagnoses, psych medications, what to do to feel better and much, much more.

This is an honest, open and explicit talk between two men about wanting to die, getting help, and thriving. It does get better.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is ask for help. ~Andy Grant

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Check out Andy’s book – Still Here: How to Succeed in Life After Failing At Suicide

Need help? Get helpSuicidePreventionLifeline.org

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Reaching for help

 

RMF 72, Real Men React: The Onslaught of Sexual Harassment Charges

Real Men React to Sexual Harassment, Episode 72, December 5, 2017

With the depth and speed of sexual harassment charges, firings, apologies, denials etc. RMF has been wanting a discussion with other men to talk about our reactions to all of this. Andy’s has continually been; “What the fuck?!”

Real Men Feel’s Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, lead a frank discussion with three guys from the private RMF Facebook Group; Anthony Simeone from Gen X Men podcast, Boysen Hodgson of the MankindProject, & Kenny Earl of his own bad self.

This recent cycle began in early October with a New York Times investigation on accusations of sexual harassment and assault against movie producer, Harvey Weinstein dating back to 1990.

See Our Prior Show on Sexual Harassment

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MeToo
Photo by Mihai Surdu on Unsplash

No More Sexual Harassment

 

Real Men Feel

Real Men Feel: Episode 71, Movember – Saving Lives with Moustaches

How Moustaches Can Save Lives, Episode 71, November 21, 2017

Real Men Feel’s Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, are joined by Owen Sharp, CEO of Movember Foundation USA, to share the progress made by Movember in the 10 years since its creation. More than a moustache, Owen and the Movember team are striving to reduce the rate of male suicides by 25%, and ultimately, the number of men dying prematurely by 25%, by 2030.

The Movember Foundation is the only charity tackling men’s health on a global scale, year round. “We have one goal: to stop men dying too young.”

Movember started in Melbourne, Australia in 2003 to raise awareness for prostate cancer. It is now seen around the globe every November 1st – 30th, with campaigns in 21 countries. They are now the biggest funder of prostate cancer research in the world. Movember has expanded to tackle mental health, suicide prevention and testicular cancer as well.

Even though it is late November, you can still register and start growing your ‘stache, make a donation, or host an event as part of Movember. All year long you can spread the word and talk about it. You can even grab some Know Thy Nuts, soap on a rope!

Learn more about Movember at https://us.movember.com/

Check out Movember on Facebook: facebook.com/MovemberUSA/

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Movember.com

Real Men Feel: Movember

Real Men Feel: Episode 70, Sexual Harassment

Sexual Harassment, Episode 70, October 17, 2017

With the unfolding sexual harassment scandal of Harvey Weinstein and the viral rush of #MeToo social media posts with both men and women admitting to experiencing sexual harassment, Real Men Feel’s Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, have an open discussion on sexual harassment with special guest, Andy’s wife, Lori Grant.

What is sexual harassment? How do men take part in harassment without realizing it? What can men do to change their own behavior or the behavior of harassers?

Sexual Harassment

US Equal Opportunity Commission
It is unlawful to harass a person (an applicant or employee) because of that person’s sex. Harassment can include “sexual harassment” or unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.

Harassment does not have to be of a sexual nature, however, and can include offensive remarks about a person’s sex. For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general.

Both victim and the harasser can be either a woman or a man, and the victim and harasser can be the same sex.

Although the law doesn’t prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not very serious, harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment or when it results in an adverse employment decision (such as the victim being fired or demoted).

The harasser can be the victim’s supervisor, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or someone who is not an employee of the employer, such as a client or customer.

The Rock Test: Treat all women like you would treat Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
Even better, imagine that what you are doing (or considering doing) is being done to you mother, partner, sister or daughter (friend, loved one, pet…). Would you be upset? If yes, Stop It!

References:

Sexual Harassment: 5 Essential Reads

Weinstein Lesson: Lot to Lose, Little to Gain by Reporting Sex Harassment

The Full List of Harvey Weinstein Accusers

Sexual Harassment on Wikipedia

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MeTooPhoto by Mihai Surdu on Unsplash

No More Sexual Harassment

 

Real Men Feel

Real Men Feel: Episode 69, Male Violence

Male Violence, Episode 69, October 10, 2017

In the wake of the Las Vegas Massacre, Real Men Feel’s Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, have an open discussion on male violence. All fans of the show were invited to take part.

Is violence innate to being a man? Are white males particularly violent? If male violence is a problem is it primarily a mental health issue, a gun issue, something else? Can it be legislated?

We touch on such hot topics as gun control, notions of “crazy” or “evil”, mental health, “lone wolf”, terrorists and possible root causes of male violence including depression, anger, isolation and more. Too many men live in isolation and believe anger is the only emotion they are allowed to have.
It is a cop-out to say someone is crazy or evil and there is nothing we can do. – Andy Grant

Articles Referenced:
The White Privilege of The Lone Wolf Shooter – Shaun King
https://theintercept.com/2017/10/02/lone-wolf-white-privlege-las-vegas-stephen-paddock/

Thoughts on Vegas, and Why Men Keep Doing This – Charlie Hoehn
https://byrslf.co/thoughts-on-the-vegas-shooting-14af397cee2c

The Real Causes of the Las Vegas Massacre Few Are Willing To Accept – Jed Diamond
http://menalive.com/real-causes-las-vegas-massacre-willing-accept/

Andy’s recommended book: An Indigenous People’s History of the United States.

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Mandaylay Bay, 32nd Floor
Photo by Joel Angel Juarez, Las Vegas Review-Journal

Real Men Feel

Real Men Feel: Episode 68, Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse

Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse, Episode 68, September 26, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by regular guy, Brendan Rowe, who shares what he’s gone through for his own healing from childhood sexual abuse in an effort to help others. Andy talks about his experiences with sexual abuse as well, including common fears that can keep men silent.

1 in 6 men have experienced abusive sexual experiences before age 18 (based on reports only, so the actual number is surely higher). Talking about it is not as common. Let’s change that.

There is shame in silence. Shame requires secrecy. Shame feeds the feeling of victimhood. Taking any issue out of the shadows, by talking about it, by sharing experiences and feelings, makes healing possible. Shame kept Brendan from feeling like a man. He felt like a boy who couldn’t grow up.

The whole point is to show other men that there is healing in talking about it. – Brendan

You are not alone. People do care. There is help, and you are worth it!

Connect with Brendan Rowe on Facebook: facebook.com/thrivemale

Visit Brendan’s blog Thrive

More Resources:
1in6.org
malesurvivor.org
livingwell.org.au
mkp.org

#RealMenFeel

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1 in 6 men have been sexualy abused

Real Men Feel Show

Real Men Feel: Episode 67, Heroes of Hurricane Harvey

Real Men Feel: Heroes of Hurricane Harvey Episode 67, August 29, 2017

This week, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, give a shout out to all the amazing people of Texas and Louisiana who are helping and supporting each other through the natural disaster of Harvey. It is often tragedy that brings people the closest together.

Through it all, wherever you are – watching on TV or in the midst of flood waters – allow your feelings to flow.

While you are pumping your gas in the coming weeks and months and notice the higher prices, be grateful that you have that car, that you have a home to go to. Be grateful for all that you have.

What if life itself was enough of a disaster for us to have compassion and caring for each other? ~ Andy Grant

How You Can Helphttps://www.forbes.com/sites/kellyphillipserb/2017/08/28/helping-out-after-hurricane-harvey-where-what-how-to-donate/#74eaa3dd3c79

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HOUSTON, TX – AUGUST 28: People are rescued from a flooded neighborhood after it was inundated with rain water, remnants of Hurricane Harvey, on August 28, 2017 in Houston, Texas. Harvey, which made landfall north of Corpus Christi late Friday evening, is expected to dump upwards to 40 inches of rain in areas of Texas over the next couple of days. (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)

 

Hurricane Harvey 2017 Flooding of Hurricane Harvey Dog Rescue Hurricane Harvey 2017