Real Men Feel: Ep. 97, Men and Workplace Bullying with Dawn Westmoreland

Men and Workplace Bullying Episode 97, June 12, 2018

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant is joined by Author, coach and speaker, Dawn Westmoreland, visits Real Men Feel’s Andy Grant to share how she’s been helping men stand up to bullying. Did you realize that nearly as many men as women are harassed and discriminated against in the workplace?

Dawn Westmoreland is an HR consultant, speaker, author, and podcaster focused on bullying and discrimination. She uses her 27 years’ experience in HR to help attorneys, mental health professional’s, spiritual/religious leaders, employers and employees with solutions to bullying and discrimination. Her podcast, The Empowered Whistleblower, offers guidance and education on healing, recovery, discrimination matters, and bullying.

“We’ve conditioned men not to feel. That is crap” ~Dawn Westmoreland

Dawn shares her experience of workplace bullying and the horrible toll it took on her. In 2012, Dawn reported her former government agency to the Office of Special Counsel and the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission for prohibited personnel practices and retaliation. As a result, her managers and co-workers turned on her, and she was subjected to two years of horrific workplace bullying and discrimination.

These years wreaked havoc on Dawn’s mental and physical health, but she persevered. Holding her workplace bullies accountable, Dawn settled with her employer outside of court and discovered her soul’s purpose.

About halfway into this show, we were bullied. A number of anonymous men joined the show, repeatedly unmuted themselves and shared their screens of porn. Most of that was edited out because these clowns didn’t even have decent porn. So thank you internet bullies for such great synchronicity.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Is workplace bullying and discrimination really an issue for men?
  • What types of discrimination do men face?
  • Is it different than women?
  • What got you to focus on bullying?
  • What is the difference between bullying and discrimination?
  • Did you witness or experience bullying in the military?
  • How can men stand up to bullying?
  • The importance of documentation.
  • What about fear of retaliation?
  • Do you have any advice for employers and organization who want to offer an environment that is free of bullying and discrimination?
  • I understand that men and women can both be targets of bullying, are they both as likely to be the bully?
  • What sorts of topics do you cover on your podcast?

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Workplace Bullying is repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators. It is abusive conduct that is :

  • Threatening, humiliating, or intimidating, or
  • Work interference — sabotage — which prevents work from getting done, or
  • Verbal abuse

Equal Employment Opportunity Commission

Connect with Dawn at WorkplaceBullyingSupport.com

Check out Dawn’s podcast The Empowered Whistleblower

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Real Men Feel with Dawn Westmoreland

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 95, Busting Out of The Man Box with Cameron Conaway

Busting Out of The Man Box with Cameron Conaway Episode 95, May 29, 2018

This week, journalist, poet, and speaker, Cameron Conaway, drops in for a discussion around modern masculinity, art, and his path from mixed martial arts to poetry. Cameron spent nearly a decade training to be a professional mixed martial artist, but while attending college at Penn State Altoona, he fell in love with poetry. To him, poetry was as much about mindful living and the radical pursuit of new perspectives as it was about writing.

Cameron’s sixth book, Man Box: Poems, is available now.

“Ultimate vulnerability. That’s manly.” ~Cameron Conaway

Cameron Conaway’s book “Man Box: Poems” is published by Lasting Impact Press, an imprint of Connection Victory Publishing Company, the sponsor of this episode of Real Men Feel.

Topics Covered Include:

  • How did an interest in mixed martial arts AND poetry unfold?
  • Being told to “man up.”
  • Have you always written poetry?
  • What is the “man box?”
  • How do we bust out?
  • The impact of a meditation about his father.
  • The perception of poetry and sexual orientation.
  • How he got into investigative journalism.
  • Does the Man Box exist in all the different countries and societies he’s visited?
  • Have you always been interested in topics related to masculinity?
  • What’s the response been to your poetry?
  • Can you describe your artistic process?
  • Changes that the 2016 election caused in the book.
  • Cameron also shares a few poems from his book.

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See Cameron Conaway Recite the Featured Poem from His Book ‘Man Box: Poems’

Man Box – Poems illuminates the seemingly insignificant patriarchal forces that manifest into a toxic masculinity capable of damaging lives and our planet.

Grab Cameron’s book Man Box: Poems

You can learn more about Cameron at CameronConaway.com

Explore all of Cameron’s books.

Cameron also teaches the #1 rated poetry class on Skillshare.com.

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Cameron Conaway’s book “Man Box: Poems” is published by Lasting Impact Press, an imprint of Connection Victory Publishing Company, the sponsor of this episode of Real Men Feel.


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Real Men Feel with Cameron Conaway

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 93, Highly Sensitive Men with Rick Belden

Highly Sensitive Men with Rick Belden Episode 93, May 8, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined once again by author, poet, artist, and coach, Rick Belden, to discuss defining masculinity and finding wholeness if you are a Highly Sensitive Man. Rich first wrote about being a highly sensitive man 4 1/2 years ago in a post that has been shared over 2,000 times.

“Sensitivity in men is not generally encouraged or valued in our society.” ~Rick Belden

Being a highly sensitive person (HSP) is not a weakness or disorder. It is based on a personality trait called sensory processing sensitivity (SPS). High sensitivity has pros and cons. It is not a defect, and 1 in 5 men are highly sensitive.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What do you mean by a highly sensitive man?
  • Are there low sensitivity men too?
  • Sensitive to what?
  • What are the pros of being an HSP?
  • How was it growing up as highly sensitive?
  • How do you embrace your sensitivity?
  • When did you know you were highly sensitive?
  • How does this relate to introverts and extroverts?
  • Do highly sensitive men try to alter there sensitivity?
  • The importance of boundaries.
  • Do you think it is easier or more difficult to grow up a sensitive man today?
  • What can be done about being a highly sensitive man?

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“You need to be strong to be a highly sensitive man in our culture.” ~Rick Belden

To learn more about yourself as a highly sensitive person, or the 1 in 5 people in your life who are highly sensitive, check out Dr. Aron’s book and the HSP Self-Test.

Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) Self-Test:

You can learn more about Rick’s Coaching for Men at RickBeldenCoaching.com

Check out Rick’s first appearance on Real Men Feel.

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Real Men Feel with Rick Belden

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 81, Guys Talking Guns

Guys Talking Guns Episode 81, February 18, 2018

With yet another tragic school shooting in the United States, some regular guys get together to discuss, to feel and to learn. Hopefully.

For this impromptu episode, Andy Grant is joined by regular guy and gun owner, Kenny Earl, to discuss gun control, mass shootings, mental health and all the horrible topics of the day.

See Andy’s post that prompted this episode – This Man Should Never Own a Gun

“We don’t need to be a country that makes it so easy to kill people.” ~Andy Grant

Topics Covered Include:

  • Is gun violence a mental health issue or a gun issue?
  • What does the 2nd Amendment say?
  • The strength of those high school students in Parkland, FL.
  • Can anything be solved via social media?
  • What is to blame?
  • What is the root cause?
  • Is it society?
  • Is it the younger generation?
  • Possible solutions.
  • More Good Guys with guns.
  • Armed veterans at every school.
  • What can and can’t be legislated.

The United States has had 90 mass shooters between 1966 and 2012. What is the magic number that will be enough for you to take action?


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Guns ARE the reason that so many innocent people die in these mass shootings. Guns are not the reason the killing happens. Guns are not the cause of violence, but they are the reason the fatalities are so high.

If guns were harder to get, more people would be alive due to fewer accidental shootings, suicides, and mass shootings.

Don’t agree? Come on the show and lets talk.

Please, engage someone in an actual conversation. Don’t only spread memes around the Internet.

Ask someone else what they think can be done to prevent more mass shootings in our schools. Then listen to their answer.

What Explains U.S. Mass Shootings?

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 73, Real Men Can Fall Into Depression and Rise Again

Real Men Can Fall Into Depression and Rise Again Episode 73, December 15, 2017

In this episode Andy Grant is joined by Gabriel DiCristofaro for a discussion about some common experiences they’ve had. Experiences of despising their lives and also of loving life. They touch on the dangers of comparison, stress, feeling hopeless and helpless, being “locked up”, diagnoses, psych medications, what to do to feel better and much, much more.

This is an honest, open and explicit talk between two men about wanting to die, getting help, and thriving. It does get better.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is ask for help. ~Andy Grant

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Check out Andy’s book – Still Here: How to Succeed in Life After Failing At Suicide

Need help? Get helpSuicidePreventionLifeline.org

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Reaching for help

 

Real Men Feel: Episode 71, Movember – Saving Lives with Moustaches

How Moustaches Can Save Lives, Episode 71, November 21, 2017

Real Men Feel’s Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, are joined by Owen Sharp, CEO of Movember Foundation USA, to share the progress made by Movember in the 10 years since its creation. More than a moustache, Owen and the Movember team are striving to reduce the rate of male suicides by 25%, and ultimately, the number of men dying prematurely by 25%, by 2030.

The Movember Foundation is the only charity tackling men’s health on a global scale, year round. “We have one goal: to stop men dying too young.”

Movember started in Melbourne, Australia in 2003 to raise awareness for prostate cancer. It is now seen around the globe every November 1st – 30th, with campaigns in 21 countries. They are now the biggest funder of prostate cancer research in the world. Movember has expanded to tackle mental health, suicide prevention and testicular cancer as well.

Even though it is late November, you can still register and start growing your ‘stache, make a donation, or host an event as part of Movember. All year long you can spread the word and talk about it. You can even grab some Know Thy Nuts, soap on a rope!

Learn more about Movember at https://us.movember.com/

Check out Movember on Facebook: facebook.com/MovemberUSA/

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Movember.com

Real Men Feel: Movember

Real Men Feel: Episode 69, Male Violence

Male Violence, Episode 69, October 10, 2017

In the wake of the Las Vegas Massacre, Real Men Feel’s Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, have an open discussion on male violence. All fans of the show were invited to take part.

Is violence innate to being a man? Are white males particularly violent? If male violence is a problem is it primarily a mental health issue, a gun issue, something else? Can it be legislated?

We touch on such hot topics as gun control, notions of “crazy” or “evil”, mental health, “lone wolf”, terrorists and possible root causes of male violence including depression, anger, isolation and more. Too many men live in isolation and believe anger is the only emotion they are allowed to have.
It is a cop-out to say someone is crazy or evil and there is nothing we can do. – Andy Grant

Articles Referenced:
The White Privilege of The Lone Wolf Shooter – Shaun King
https://theintercept.com/2017/10/02/lone-wolf-white-privlege-las-vegas-stephen-paddock/

Thoughts on Vegas, and Why Men Keep Doing This – Charlie Hoehn
https://byrslf.co/thoughts-on-the-vegas-shooting-14af397cee2c

The Real Causes of the Las Vegas Massacre Few Are Willing To Accept – Jed Diamond
http://menalive.com/real-causes-las-vegas-massacre-willing-accept/

Andy’s recommended book: An Indigenous People’s History of the United States.

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Mandaylay Bay, 32nd Floor
Photo by Joel Angel Juarez, Las Vegas Review-Journal

Real Men Feel

Real Men Feel: Episode 68, Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse

Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse, Episode 68, September 26, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by regular guy, Brendan Rowe, who shares what he’s gone through for his own healing from childhood sexual abuse in an effort to help others. Andy talks about his experiences with sexual abuse as well, including common fears that can keep men silent.

1 in 6 men have experienced abusive sexual experiences before age 18 (based on reports only, so the actual number is surely higher). Talking about it is not as common. Let’s change that.

There is shame in silence. Shame requires secrecy. Shame feeds the feeling of victimhood. Taking any issue out of the shadows, by talking about it, by sharing experiences and feelings, makes healing possible. Shame kept Brendan from feeling like a man. He felt like a boy who couldn’t grow up.

The whole point is to show other men that there is healing in talking about it. – Brendan

You are not alone. People do care. There is help, and you are worth it!

Connect with Brendan Rowe on Facebook: facebook.com/thrivemale

Visit Brendan’s blog Thrive

More Resources:
1in6.org
malesurvivor.org
livingwell.org.au
mkp.org

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1 in 6 men have been sexualy abused

Real Men Feel Show

Real Men Feel: Episode 65, Real Men Can Feel Suicidal

Real Men Can Feel Suicidal Episode 65, August 18, 2017

Real Men Feel host Andy Grant goes solo again to share some personal insights as well as a few tools for dealing with depression and negative or suicidal thinking.

Andy opens up regarding some recent conversations, discoveries, admissions and rationalizations. He also shares three simple yet powerful tools that anyone can use to help deal with negative or suicidal thinking. The tools include pivoting, witnessing and expressing.

Life is meant to be simple and enjoyed. Make choices that result in you enjoying life more.

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Real Men Can Feel Depressed

Real Men Feel: Episode 64, Real Men Feel Disappointment in Themselves

Real Men Feel Disappointment in Themselves Episode 64, August 15, 2017

Real Men Feel returns after 9 weeks with Andy Grant going solo to explain where he’s been.

Real men feel lost, alone, desperate, apathetic, and everything else. Real men feel like shit. Real men can feel like they are not real. They can question whether they are men. Real men feel – or can feel  – disappointed in themselves. I know all this is true, because that is how I’ve been feeling for many months.~ Andy Grant

Andy comes up for air after trying to overdose on apathy and attempts to explain the feelings of disappointment that can lead to attraction of his own demise.

If you’ve listened to this episode, here is a bit of closure to some of what Andy shared.
On July 3rd we were told my dad had days to weeks to live and my wife and I decided we couldn’t sell our home and deal with that at the same time. Especially since moving into my dad’s home for his last few months to care for him was one possible landing spot for us, so we pulled our house off the market.
And Sadie is okay, she’s on medication and has had seizures once since the original night. We’ve learned dog’s having seizures is much more common than we knew.

Andy’s earlier related posts: Sharing From My Low Point and Dealing with a Dad with Dementia.

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Photo by whoislimos on Unsplash

Photo by whoislimos on Unsplash