Real Men Feel: Ep. 105, Developing Self-Confidence with Darnell Donerson

Developing Self-Confidence Episode 105, August 7, 2018

This week Andy Grant is joined by writer, Darnell Donerson, to share his very public quest for building his confidence and overcoming negative thinking. Andy first met Darnell thanks to his debut article for GoodMenProject, Developing My Confidence.

“I got fed up with myself. Tired of being the victim.” ~Darnell Donerson

After years of struggling with his confidence, Darnell decided to turn his life around. Now he hopes to be a voice to help and inspire others. See Danell’s column on GoodMenProject.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What lead you to believe you had a problem with confidence?
  • Battling negativity and self-judgment.
  • How was growing up for you?
  • What sort of myths have you come across regarding men and confidence?
  • How immigrants see America.
  • Was there one main reason you wanted to feel more confident?
  • What made you decide to start your blog?
  • The power of setting goals.
  • The feedback Darnell’s received to his writing.
  • Anything come as surprisingly easy or difficult?
  • What are some words you used to use to describe yourself?
  • What about now?
  • What are you looking forward to?

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Listen here:

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

See all of Darnell’s Good Men Project posts.

Visit Darnell’s site: Blog With Darnell.

Connect with Darnell on Twitter and Instagram.

Subscribe to the podcast at RealMenFeel.org/iTunes

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Real Men Feel: Confidence

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 104, Men and Postnatal Depression with Darren Horne

Men and Postnatal Depression Episode 104, July 31 2018

This week Andy Grant is joined by leadership and communications consultant, Darren Horne, to share his call to adventure including postnatal depression and being a dad. Fatherhood isn’t always a magical and loving experience from the get-go. Postnatal, or postpartum, depression can hit men as well as women.

“Our parents did not bring us into the world to work 40 – 50 hours a week doing a job we hate.” ~Darren Horne

Darren shares how he tried to avoid his depression, as well as all the tools that helped, overcome it. Despite the subject matter, this is an upbeat conversation full of passion and zest for life. See Darren’s column on GoodMenProject.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What is postnatal depression?
  • How common is this for men?
  • Had you ever heard of it or been warned about it?
  • How did you deal with your postnatal depression?
  • Since you’ve opened up about it have you met more men who’ve experienced it too?
  • The pain and grief of a miscarriage.
  • The many gifts coming out of challenges.
  • Going through a divorce and being more resilient.
  • Seeing life as a computer game.
  • We live in a society that makes money off our unhappiness.
  • The meaning of life.
  • Darren’s book for teens.
  • What does your vasectomy have to do with leadership?

 


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“We are the victim of a society that makes us stay safe in a grey and ordinary world.” ~Darren Horne

Darren’s book: Level Up Your Teens

Discover how easy it is to publish on Amazon. Check out Andy’s online course.

Learn more about Darren at DarrenHorne.com

Connect with Darren on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn.

Subscribe to the podcast at RealMenFeel.org/iTunes

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Real Men Feel - Darren Horne

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 101, Balancing Wants, Needs, and Dreams

Balancing Wants, Needs, and Dreams Episode 101, July 10, 2018

This week Andy Grant is joined by blogger and podcaster, Andrew Davis, to discuss the challenges and frustrations men feel around doing what you have to do rather than doing what you want to do.

This is an engaging conversation covering everything from chronic pain, to lessons from maturity, dealing with change and much more. Whether you are 25 or 75, there are nuggets of wisdom and resonance.

“I only need 51%, that is a winning day for me.” ~Andrew Davis

A big part of being a man means you gotta take a risk. If you believe in yourself, taking your shot isn’t that risky.

Topics Covered Include:

  • How do you balance what you want to do and what you have to do?
  • How would you define your wants vs. your needs?
  • Does what you want to do and have to do ever overlap?
  • How has this affected your view of masculinity?
  • Physical challenges leading to hobbies and creativity.
  • The effect of chronic pain on personal morale.
  • What does your podcast cover?
  • What sort of subjects do you blog about?
  • What makes someone less of a man?
  • What were some of your expectations about being a man when you were growing up?
  • What happens on a bad day?
  • How do deal with ongoing life challenges?
  • What is your big goal or dream?

 


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Check out Andrew’s site popanimecomics.com

Connect on Facebook facebook.com/popanimecomics

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Real Men Feel with Andrew Davis

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 99, The Bound Between Men and Dogs

The Connection Between Men and Dogs Episode 99, June 26, 2018

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant is joined by by Richard Morrell and Sean Higgins to discuss the emotional bonds between men and man’s best friend; touching on everything from unconditional love to grief.

“I wrote about the emotional bond between men and dogs back in May, but knew I had to wait longer before I could possibly speak about it.” ~Andy Grant

This is the article that prompted today’s discussion: Men and Their Dogs

Dogs, unlike perhaps anything else in the typical man’s life, give unconditional love and support. Your dog is ALWAYS glad to see you. Your dog ALWAYS loves you, whether you just yelled at him for eating your favorite sneakers or you’ve spent hours tossing a ball to them. No other living creature gives so much emotion, presence, attention and time to a man like a dog. Your dog will never call you names, go behind your back, or leave you for another owner.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Richard and Andy talk about recently putting dogs down.
  • The intensity of grief around losing a dog.
  • The unconditional love dogs offer.
  • The support of dogs when depressed and suicidal.
  • Have you seen men in your family display more emotion regarding their dog than other people?
  • What do you think is behind your connection to your dogs, as a child or adult?
  • Have you ever been surprised by your grief regarding a pet?
  • Do you think men are encouraged to show emotion related to dogs or is it more that they are discouraged in showing emotion in other areas of life?
  • Why do you think the bond between a man and his dog can be so strong?
  • Was the loss of a dog, in life or on screen, a moment that was ok for the adults in your life to cry over when you were a kid?
  • Anything top of mind that you’ve learned from a dog?
  • Some wild stories involving animal communicators are shared.
  • What do we mean when we say “pulling yourself together?”

 


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Need some science?

Why Are Humans and Dogs So Good Living Together
The Science Behind the Dog and Human Relationship

Andy’s posts about his dog, Sadie:
A Dog Guarantees One of the Best Days of Your Life and One of the Worst
Learning From The Master: My Dog

This is the video that Andy saw of Sadie five years ago and had he and his wife rush to the shelter.

Andy’s book: Homer’s Guide to Happiness: Six Life Lessons I Learned From My Dog
Louise Hay and David Kessler’s book: You Can Heal Your Heart

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 98, Healing the Family Father Wound with Jed Diamond

Healing the Family Father Wound Episode 98, June 19, 2018

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant is joined by one of the world’s leading experts on men’s issues, Jed Diamond, Ph.D.

Jed has been a licensed psychotherapist for over 40 years and is the author of twelve books including Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome, his newest book tackles what Jed believes is one problem that surpasses all others in its impact on men, women, and society. That book is My Distant Dad: Healing the Family Father Wound.

“Disconnected males, without a strong sense of inner guidance, can become abusive towards women and destructive towards men.” ~Jed Diamond, Ph.D.

The father wound impacts four critical areas of our lives:

  • Our physical health
  • Our emotional health
  • Our relationship health
  • Our social and political health

The effects of growing up without a loving, engaged, father ripple through the generations and contribute to many of the most serious problems we face in our society today including:

  • Drug and alcohol abuse
  • Depression and suicide
  • Teen pregnancy
  • Sexual dysfunction, harassment, and addiction
  • Poverty
  • Divorce
  • Unhappy, loveless, sexless, and lifeless marriages
  • Crime, conflict, and violence
  • Fear and aggression between groups

Topics Covered Include:

  • Besides being a man, what got you to focus on men’s issues?
  • What is a father wound?
  • Can the family father wound by created by a father who is physically absent as well as a father who is emotionally absent?
  • Does anyone not have a father wound?
  • How doe the father wound impact our lives?
  • Does this wound effect only men?
  • What do children need from their father?
  • What are some of the effects of growing up without a present, loving father?
  • Months before the 2016 presidential election, you wrote an article “The Real Reason Donald Trump Will Be Our Next President” can you remind us of those reasons?
  • What has been most beneficial in your healing?

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According to the National Center for Fathering, “More than 20 million children live in a home without the physical presence of a father. Millions more have dads who are physically present, but emotionally absent. If it were classified as a disease, fatherlessness would be an epidemic worthy of attention as a national emergency.”

Read Jed’s latest book: My Distant Dad: Healing the Family Father Wound, published by Lasting Impact Press, an imprint of Connection Victory Publishing Company.

See all of Jed’s books

Connect with Jed at MenAlive.com

See Jed’s posts on GoodMenProject

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Feel with Jed Diamond

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 97, Men and Workplace Bullying with Dawn Westmoreland

Men and Workplace Bullying Episode 97, June 12, 2018

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant is joined by Author, coach and speaker, Dawn Westmoreland, visits Real Men Feel’s Andy Grant to share how she’s been helping men stand up to bullying. Did you realize that nearly as many men as women are harassed and discriminated against in the workplace?

Dawn Westmoreland is an HR consultant, speaker, author, and podcaster focused on bullying and discrimination. She uses her 27 years’ experience in HR to help attorneys, mental health professional’s, spiritual/religious leaders, employers and employees with solutions to bullying and discrimination. Her podcast, The Empowered Whistleblower, offers guidance and education on healing, recovery, discrimination matters, and bullying.

“We’ve conditioned men not to feel. That is crap” ~Dawn Westmoreland

Dawn shares her experience of workplace bullying and the horrible toll it took on her. In 2012, Dawn reported her former government agency to the Office of Special Counsel and the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission for prohibited personnel practices and retaliation. As a result, her managers and co-workers turned on her, and she was subjected to two years of horrific workplace bullying and discrimination.

These years wreaked havoc on Dawn’s mental and physical health, but she persevered. Holding her workplace bullies accountable, Dawn settled with her employer outside of court and discovered her soul’s purpose.

About halfway into this show, we were bullied. A number of anonymous men joined the show, repeatedly unmuted themselves and shared their screens of porn. Most of that was edited out because these clowns didn’t even have decent porn. So thank you internet bullies for such great synchronicity.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Is workplace bullying and discrimination really an issue for men?
  • What types of discrimination do men face?
  • Is it different than women?
  • What got you to focus on bullying?
  • What is the difference between bullying and discrimination?
  • Did you witness or experience bullying in the military?
  • How can men stand up to bullying?
  • The importance of documentation.
  • What about fear of retaliation?
  • Do you have any advice for employers and organization who want to offer an environment that is free of bullying and discrimination?
  • I understand that men and women can both be targets of bullying, are they both as likely to be the bully?
  • What sorts of topics do you cover on your podcast?

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Workplace Bullying is repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators. It is abusive conduct that is :

  • Threatening, humiliating, or intimidating, or
  • Work interference — sabotage — which prevents work from getting done, or
  • Verbal abuse

Equal Employment Opportunity Commission

Connect with Dawn at WorkplaceBullyingSupport.com

Check out Dawn’s podcast The Empowered Whistleblower

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Feel with Dawn Westmoreland

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 95, Busting Out of The Man Box with Cameron Conaway

Busting Out of The Man Box with Cameron Conaway Episode 95, May 29, 2018

This week, journalist, poet, and speaker, Cameron Conaway, drops in for a discussion around modern masculinity, art, and his path from mixed martial arts to poetry. Cameron spent nearly a decade training to be a professional mixed martial artist, but while attending college at Penn State Altoona, he fell in love with poetry. To him, poetry was as much about mindful living and the radical pursuit of new perspectives as it was about writing.

Cameron’s sixth book, Man Box: Poems, is available now.

“Ultimate vulnerability. That’s manly.” ~Cameron Conaway

Cameron Conaway’s book “Man Box: Poems” is published by Lasting Impact Press, an imprint of Connection Victory Publishing Company, the sponsor of this episode of Real Men Feel.

Topics Covered Include:

  • How did an interest in mixed martial arts AND poetry unfold?
  • Being told to “man up.”
  • Have you always written poetry?
  • What is the “man box?”
  • How do we bust out?
  • The impact of a meditation about his father.
  • The perception of poetry and sexual orientation.
  • How he got into investigative journalism.
  • Does the Man Box exist in all the different countries and societies he’s visited?
  • Have you always been interested in topics related to masculinity?
  • What’s the response been to your poetry?
  • Can you describe your artistic process?
  • Changes that the 2016 election caused in the book.
  • Cameron also shares a few poems from his book.

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See Cameron Conaway Recite the Featured Poem from His Book ‘Man Box: Poems’

Man Box – Poems illuminates the seemingly insignificant patriarchal forces that manifest into a toxic masculinity capable of damaging lives and our planet.

Grab Cameron’s book Man Box: Poems

You can learn more about Cameron at CameronConaway.com

Explore all of Cameron’s books.

Cameron also teaches the #1 rated poetry class on Skillshare.com.

#RealMenFeel

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Cameron Conaway’s book “Man Box: Poems” is published by Lasting Impact Press, an imprint of Connection Victory Publishing Company, the sponsor of this episode of Real Men Feel.


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Real Men Feel with Cameron Conaway

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 93, Highly Sensitive Men with Rick Belden

Highly Sensitive Men with Rick Belden Episode 93, May 8, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined once again by author, poet, artist, and coach, Rick Belden, to discuss defining masculinity and finding wholeness if you are a Highly Sensitive Man. Rich first wrote about being a highly sensitive man 4 1/2 years ago in a post that has been shared over 2,000 times.

“Sensitivity in men is not generally encouraged or valued in our society.” ~Rick Belden

Being a highly sensitive person (HSP) is not a weakness or disorder. It is based on a personality trait called sensory processing sensitivity (SPS). High sensitivity has pros and cons. It is not a defect, and 1 in 5 men are highly sensitive.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What do you mean by a highly sensitive man?
  • Are there low sensitivity men too?
  • Sensitive to what?
  • What are the pros of being an HSP?
  • How was it growing up as highly sensitive?
  • How do you embrace your sensitivity?
  • When did you know you were highly sensitive?
  • How does this relate to introverts and extroverts?
  • Do highly sensitive men try to alter there sensitivity?
  • The importance of boundaries.
  • Do you think it is easier or more difficult to grow up a sensitive man today?
  • What can be done about being a highly sensitive man?

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“You need to be strong to be a highly sensitive man in our culture.” ~Rick Belden

To learn more about yourself as a highly sensitive person, or the 1 in 5 people in your life who are highly sensitive, check out Dr. Aron’s book and the HSP Self-Test.

Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) Self-Test:

You can learn more about Rick’s Coaching for Men at RickBeldenCoaching.com

Check out Rick’s first appearance on Real Men Feel.

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Feel with Rick Belden

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 81, Guys Talking Guns

Guys Talking Guns Episode 81, February 18, 2018

With yet another tragic school shooting in the United States, some regular guys get together to discuss, to feel and to learn. Hopefully.

For this impromptu episode, Andy Grant is joined by regular guy and gun owner, Kenny Earl, to discuss gun control, mass shootings, mental health and all the horrible topics of the day.

See Andy’s post that prompted this episode – This Man Should Never Own a Gun

“We don’t need to be a country that makes it so easy to kill people.” ~Andy Grant

Topics Covered Include:

  • Is gun violence a mental health issue or a gun issue?
  • What does the 2nd Amendment say?
  • The strength of those high school students in Parkland, FL.
  • Can anything be solved via social media?
  • What is to blame?
  • What is the root cause?
  • Is it society?
  • Is it the younger generation?
  • Possible solutions.
  • More Good Guys with guns.
  • Armed veterans at every school.
  • What can and can’t be legislated.

The United States has had 90 mass shooters between 1966 and 2012. What is the magic number that will be enough for you to take action?


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Guns ARE the reason that so many innocent people die in these mass shootings. Guns are not the reason the killing happens. Guns are not the cause of violence, but they are the reason the fatalities are so high.

If guns were harder to get, more people would be alive due to fewer accidental shootings, suicides, and mass shootings.

Don’t agree? Come on the show and lets talk.

Please, engage someone in an actual conversation. Don’t only spread memes around the Internet.

Ask someone else what they think can be done to prevent more mass shootings in our schools. Then listen to their answer.

What Explains U.S. Mass Shootings?

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 73, Real Men Can Fall Into Depression and Rise Again

Real Men Can Fall Into Depression and Rise Again Episode 73, December 15, 2017

In this episode Andy Grant is joined by Gabriel DiCristofaro for a discussion about some common experiences they’ve had. Experiences of despising their lives and also of loving life. They touch on the dangers of comparison, stress, feeling hopeless and helpless, being “locked up”, diagnoses, psych medications, what to do to feel better and much, much more.

This is an honest, open and explicit talk between two men about wanting to die, getting help, and thriving. It does get better.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is ask for help. ~Andy Grant

#RealMenFeel

Check out Andy’s book – Still Here: How to Succeed in Life After Failing At Suicide

Need help? Get helpSuicidePreventionLifeline.org

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Reaching for help