Real Men Feel: Ep. 75, Reactions to Sexual Harassment, #MeToo and #TimesUp

Real Men Feel: Reactions to Sexual Harassment, #MeToo and #TimesUp Episode 75, January 9, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter lead their second open call to discuss the tsunami of sexual harassment charges and the aftermath. Last month the discussion was among five men, this time we opened the call up to women as well.

Since our first conversation, sexual misconduct charges have swept the ESPN, NFL Network, Celebrity chefs, the New York City Ballet, London’s Royal Philharmonic … it has only been three months since the first accusations against Harvey Weinstein were made public. This is so far beyond any industry or workplace. This is impacting every part of society.

Director Morgan Spurlock owned up to his past bad behavior before any public accusations were made because of the anxiety he felt waiting for him to become the next man down. In the last month, Al Franken has left the Senate, and Roy Moore lost his bid to join the Senate.

We being by discussing what will society look like once the backlash calms down with Kenny Earl, Boysen Hodgson, and Lori Grant. What might the new standard be once we reach a balance point? It will probably be once women realize harassment is no longer happening, but how long will it take? Might sexual harassment be as antiquated as an 8-track tape someday?


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The conversation touches on the toxicity of social media, Sebastian Junger’s book Tribe, the notion of men not being evolved, and the entrenchment of patriarchy (not only among men).

The problem isn’t men in power. It is so many broken men in power. ~Andy Grant

One suggestion for men to realize how pervasive sexual harassment is is for one day at work not say anything to a woman that they wouldn’t say to a man.

Our lone female participant did not appreciate using the term backlash for men who have raped and assaulted women. Raping someone twenty years ago, but not having it come out until today doesn’t make it okay.

That’s not backlash, that’s fricking justice – Lori Grant

If you haven’t seen Oprah’s speech at the Golden Globes, it is worth watching. And if you have seen it, it’s worth watching again.
https://www.facebook.com/oprahmagazine/videos/10150951415064944/

Men, we need you to be phenomenal.

phe·nom·e·nal/fəˈnämənəl/ — adjective

  • 1. very remarkable; extraordinary: “the town expanded at a phenomenal rate” synonyms: remarkable, exceptional, extraordinary, amazing, astonishing, … more antonyms: ordinary
  • 2. perceptible by the senses or through immediate experience: “the phenomenal world.”

Resources and References

Justin Baldoni – Why I’m Done Trying To Be Man Enough

Vanity Fair – Brotopia: Silicon Valley Secretive Orgiastic Inner Sanctum

Men Accused Since Weinstein

Learn more about Time’s Up and add your name to the Letter of Solidarity.

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Times Up

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 73, Real Men Can Fall Into Depression and Rise Again

Real Men Can Fall Into Depression and Rise Again Episode 73, December 15, 2017

In this episode Andy Grant is joined by Gabriel DiCristofaro for a discussion about some common experiences they’ve had. Experiences of despising their lives and also of loving life. They touch on the dangers of comparison, stress, feeling hopeless and helpless, being “locked up”, diagnoses, psych medications, what to do to feel better and much, much more.

This is an honest, open and explicit talk between two men about wanting to die, getting help, and thriving. It does get better.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is ask for help. ~Andy Grant

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Check out Andy’s book – Still Here: How to Succeed in Life After Failing At Suicide

Need help? Get helpSuicidePreventionLifeline.org

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Reaching for help

 

RMF 72, Real Men React: The Onslaught of Sexual Harassment Charges

Real Men React to Sexual Harassment, Episode 72, December 5, 2017

With the depth and speed of sexual harassment charges, firings, apologies, denials etc. RMF has been wanting a discussion with other men to talk about our reactions to all of this. Andy’s has continually been; “What the fuck?!”

Real Men Feel’s Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, lead a frank discussion with three guys from the private RMF Facebook Group; Anthony Simeone from Gen X Men podcast, Boysen Hodgson of the MankindProject, & Kenny Earl of his own bad self.

This recent cycle began in early October with a New York Times investigation on accusations of sexual harassment and assault against movie producer, Harvey Weinstein dating back to 1990.

See Our Prior Show on Sexual Harassment

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MeToo
Photo by Mihai Surdu on Unsplash

No More Sexual Harassment

 

Real Men Feel

Real Men Feel: Episode 71, Movember – Saving Lives with Moustaches

How Moustaches Can Save Lives, Episode 71, November 21, 2017

Real Men Feel’s Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, are joined by Owen Sharp, CEO of Movember Foundation USA, to share the progress made by Movember in the 10 years since its creation. More than a moustache, Owen and the Movember team are striving to reduce the rate of male suicides by 25%, and ultimately, the number of men dying prematurely by 25%, by 2030.

The Movember Foundation is the only charity tackling men’s health on a global scale, year round. “We have one goal: to stop men dying too young.”

Movember started in Melbourne, Australia in 2003 to raise awareness for prostate cancer. It is now seen around the globe every November 1st – 30th, with campaigns in 21 countries. They are now the biggest funder of prostate cancer research in the world. Movember has expanded to tackle mental health, suicide prevention and testicular cancer as well.

Even though it is late November, you can still register and start growing your ‘stache, make a donation, or host an event as part of Movember. All year long you can spread the word and talk about it. You can even grab some Know Thy Nuts, soap on a rope!

Learn more about Movember at https://us.movember.com/

Check out Movember on Facebook: facebook.com/MovemberUSA/

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Movember.com

Real Men Feel: Movember

Real Men Feel: Episode 70, Sexual Harassment

Sexual Harassment, Episode 70, October 17, 2017

With the unfolding sexual harassment scandal of Harvey Weinstein and the viral rush of #MeToo social media posts with both men and women admitting to experiencing sexual harassment, Real Men Feel’s Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, have an open discussion on sexual harassment with special guest, Andy’s wife, Lori Grant.

What is sexual harassment? How do men take part in harassment without realizing it? What can men do to change their own behavior or the behavior of harassers?

Sexual Harassment

US Equal Opportunity Commission
It is unlawful to harass a person (an applicant or employee) because of that person’s sex. Harassment can include “sexual harassment” or unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.

Harassment does not have to be of a sexual nature, however, and can include offensive remarks about a person’s sex. For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general.

Both victim and the harasser can be either a woman or a man, and the victim and harasser can be the same sex.

Although the law doesn’t prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not very serious, harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment or when it results in an adverse employment decision (such as the victim being fired or demoted).

The harasser can be the victim’s supervisor, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or someone who is not an employee of the employer, such as a client or customer.

The Rock Test: Treat all women like you would treat Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
Even better, imagine that what you are doing (or considering doing) is being done to you mother, partner, sister or daughter (friend, loved one, pet…). Would you be upset? If yes, Stop It!

References:

Sexual Harassment: 5 Essential Reads

Weinstein Lesson: Lot to Lose, Little to Gain by Reporting Sex Harassment

The Full List of Harvey Weinstein Accusers

Sexual Harassment on Wikipedia

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MeTooPhoto by Mihai Surdu on Unsplash

No More Sexual Harassment

 

Real Men Feel

Real Men Feel: Episode 66, Reconnection

Real Men Feel Reconnection Episode 66, August 22, 2017

In this episode Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are together again for the first time in two months. Their planned guest couldn’t make it, so this week was a wide ranging coffee talk and reconnection show.

This is an open and authentic conversation that too many men don’t get to be part of. It is a sharing and supportive experience between friends. Topics include where the show has been, the eclipse, astrology, depression, grief, loss of fathers, questioning being a good friend, all or nothing thinking, release, and discovery.

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Reconnection

 

 

Real Men Feel: Episode 65, Real Men Can Feel Suicidal

Real Men Can Feel Suicidal Episode 65, August 18, 2017

Real Men Feel host Andy Grant goes solo again to share some personal insights as well as a few tools for dealing with depression and negative or suicidal thinking.

Andy opens up regarding some recent conversations, discoveries, admissions and rationalizations. He also shares three simple yet powerful tools that anyone can use to help deal with negative or suicidal thinking. The tools include pivoting, witnessing and expressing.

Life is meant to be simple and enjoyed. Make choices that result in you enjoying life more.

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Real Men Can Feel Depressed

Real Men Feel: Episode 63, From Warrior to Healer with Mike Marschhausen

Warrior to Healer

From Warrior to Healer with Mike Marschhausen, Episode 63, June 6, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by co-founder and healer at SpiritualityForMen.com, Mike Marschhausen. Mike shares his story of growth and discovery from military combat in Afghanistan to a spiritual awakening in Mexico.

Mike tells how someone offering an energy healing for his dog started him on his journey to becoming a healer himself. Now he wants to bring spirituality and energy work to more men. Spirituality For Men is all about helping men to navigate their inner realm.

Drop the warrior. Why recreate war in your life?

We all have a warrior within us, but that doesn’t mean we need to fight and struggle to utilize it. Mike, Andy & Appio all share various experiences with energy work, emotions, fears and shadows.

Connect with Mike on Facebook: facebook.com/spiritualityformenofficial

Visit SpiritualityForMen.com

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Real Men Feel: Episode 61, Finding Hope with Psychological Theorist, Vito Mucci

Finding Hope with Psychological Theorist, Vito Mucci Episode 61, May 23, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by author and co-host of Divine Union TV, Vito Mucci, to talk about finding hope. This isn’t airy-fairy stuff. Vito is all about science and psychology for everybody as he shares lessons learned from spending eight years at rock bottom.

Andy shares how triggered he was when first coming across Vito on Facebook. Vito then describes what being a psychological theorist means to him. The bulk of the show is about Vito’s eight years of being at rock bottom and attempting to use alcohol to control his emotions.

“Life is pretty adept at beating us down.” ~Vito Mucci

Vito believes alcohol did indeed save his life. He longed for some way to feel safe and alcohol was that safety for a long time. Drinking gave him a sense of control over his emotions.

The beginning of hope comes from not denying our emotions, but in allowing them.

Validate and celebrate all your little successes, those are the embers of hope.

Check out Vito’s book Coffee for Consciousness.

Connect with Vito on Facebook: facebook.com/vito.mucci
facebook.com/Divine-Union-TV-263163274114518/

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Real Men Feel: Episode 59, The Good Athlete Project with Jim Davis

Real Men Feel - Good Athlete Project

The Good Athlete Project with Jim Davis Episode 59, May 9, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Appio Hunter is joined by Jim Davis, founder of The Good Athlete Project, to discuss the power of using sports in character and leadership development.

Jim Davis is a high school staff and student wellness director in Illinois as well as being an athlete, artist, poet, writer and founder of The Good Athlete Project. Jim is passionate about athletics and the arts and shatters so many stereotypes about being a “jock.” Jim doesn’t subscribe to any stereotypes, be it jock, artist, man or anything. Stereotypes, at the most basic level, are lazy thinking. At their worst level they are hateful and dangerous.

Jim explores the metaphor of an anchor and tether. What anchors someone is their absolute belief in an area of life and how much wiggle room there is. If we find out we’re wrong, we need to be willing and able to pick up and move our anchor.

“Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.” ~Abraham Lincoln

Jim also shares his path to bringing the Good Athlete Project into the world. As an athlete he did his best to influence and be good for his teammates. Then he pursed that positive influence as a coach, and then expanded that to coach other coaches to meet the needs of more students, and now scaling that model even further espousing character, culture, equity and service.

“Competing is showing off all the good work you’ve done.” ~ Jim Davis

The Good Athlete Project is an international, sports-based, non-profit focused on outreach, leadership training and research. The goal is maximizing athletics as an educational platform. Sports gone wrong is something that fuels Jim. The notion of “locker room” talk and similar poor outcomes of athletics. Sports has the power of momentum, and the Good Athlete Project wants to get in front of stigma inducing behavior.

Being tough does not mean talking tough or degrading women. We made up what “tough” looks like and we can remake it. Ideally there is no barrier to how much we can care about each other.

“If you are part of a team, you should never feel like there is no one to talk to.”~ Jim Davis

The interview wraps up with an interesting discussion on concussions and chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE).

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Learn more about the Good Athlete Project at – GoodAthleteProject.com

Connect with Good Athlete Project (coach4kindness) on Twitter or Instagram.

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