Real Men Feel: Ep. 91, Conscious Sexuality and Sexual Healing

Conscious Sexuality and Sexual Healing Episode 91, April 24, 2018

This week Andy Grant is joined by writer, podcaster, and coach, Jonti Searll, from South Africa. He has been working in the field of Conscious Sexuality for almost 20 years, creating healing processes, workshops and material that has helped many people create fulfilling experiences and relationships. Jonti shares his journey from aspiring Rabbi to sexuality coach in a very conservative society.

“Orgasm is a trap for men. That creates sex that is performance-based, not pleasure based.” ~Jonti Searll

Orgasms are wonderful, but that is not all there is. We can create possibilities for pleasure, in relationships, in health and all aspects of life. We can access and use our sexual energy as a force for healing, growth, meditation, creativity, and change. Our sexuality connects to all aspects of ourselves and our lives. As we remove our sexual blockages and allow more of that energy to flow, we allow all other energies to flow as we become more conscious, more connected and more alive.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Tell about your podcast, SexTalk.
  • What is Conscious Sexuality?
  • How did you first get involved with this?
  • Jonti’s creative process.
  • Is South Africa an open and inviting country for this sort of work?
  • Is sexuality more than sex?
  • What is our Sexual Energy?
  • What are some examples of sexual healing?
  • How do you see porn impacting sexuality?
  • What sort of workshops and events do you lead?
  • What is loving touch?
  • Do men touch enough?
  • The top six things people want in communication.

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“Porn and chick flicks are both fantasy worlds.” ~Jonti Searll

Most men have a friction-based goal for sex. The goal should be pleasure.

See the post that first caught Andy’s eye – Loving Men.

Our sexuality is linked to all of who we are; our sexual energy is our life-force. Releasing the blockages we’ve created and freeing ourselves from the limitations of the past allows us to create lives, relationships, and experiences of incredible beauty.

Our sexual energy is a force for not only personal transformation but has the power to be used to change our world. This is Jonti’s mission.

Learn more about Jonti at ErosLife.co.za.
Check out his SexTalk Podcast.
Connect with Jonti on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube.

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Real Men Feel with Jonti Searll

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 81, Guys Talking Guns

Guys Talking Guns Episode 81, February 18, 2018

With yet another tragic school shooting in the United States, some regular guys get together to discuss, to feel and to learn. Hopefully.

For this impromptu episode, Andy Grant is joined by regular guy and gun owner, Kenny Earl, to discuss gun control, mass shootings, mental health and all the horrible topics of the day.

See Andy’s post that prompted this episode – This Man Should Never Own a Gun

“We don’t need to be a country that makes it so easy to kill people.” ~Andy Grant

Topics Covered Include:

  • Is gun violence a mental health issue or a gun issue?
  • What does the 2nd Amendment say?
  • The strength of those high school students in Parkland, FL.
  • Can anything be solved via social media?
  • What is to blame?
  • What is the root cause?
  • Is it society?
  • Is it the younger generation?
  • Possible solutions.
  • More Good Guys with guns.
  • Armed veterans at every school.
  • What can and can’t be legislated.

The United States has had 90 mass shooters between 1966 and 2012. What is the magic number that will be enough for you to take action?


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Guns ARE the reason that so many innocent people die in these mass shootings. Guns are not the reason the killing happens. Guns are not the cause of violence, but they are the reason the fatalities are so high.

If guns were harder to get, more people would be alive due to fewer accidental shootings, suicides, and mass shootings.

Don’t agree? Come on the show and lets talk.

Please, engage someone in an actual conversation. Don’t only spread memes around the Internet.

Ask someone else what they think can be done to prevent more mass shootings in our schools. Then listen to their answer.

What Explains U.S. Mass Shootings?

#RealMenFeel

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 79, Exploring The Men School

Exploring The Men School with Jan Darwin Hutchins Episode 79, February 6, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter discover the path to the creation of The Men School, a school dedicated to cultivating the divine masculine in all of us with Jan Darwin Hutchins.

“Why, after having been a lone wolf all my life, did I feel so alone?” ~Jan Darwin Hutchins

Jan was successful at a young age, living the dream as a TV sports anchor, yet he felt rather empty. In his 50s he realized he had made no real friends over his life. An experience witnessing the support a dying friend received from a men’s group made him realize he was not alone and that he could trust other men. He discovered there was an initiation he could do to become one of those men. Jan did it and confirmed that he was not alone, didn’t need to be alone and could trust men.

“The problem with life is there is no end to the problems.”

Topics Covered Include:

  • Jan’s background including TV news, politics, yoga and more.
  • What lead to the creation of The Men School?
  • The masks we all wear.
  • The need for and benefits of doing the inner work.
  • The power of men’s groups.
  • The current state of The Men’s School and plans for the future.
  • Do we ever graduate from Men School?
  • Jan shares some research on wolves in Yellowstone.
  • OKness and presence.
  • The MankindProject
  • How does a man find his truth?
  • Is life simple or hard?

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All three men answer the question: If there was one thing you could teach or make all men aware of, what would it be?

TheMenSchool
“We are a learning community cultivating the sacred deep masculine in us all.”
As social animals, we require a source of stabilization from outside ourselves. Our shared connections and, co-corrections, literally keep us sane.

TheMenSchool is here to:
—keep learning to model the divine masculine
—see you excel in your individual life

When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time.~Byron Katie

Check out Robert Johnson’s book, We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love
Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

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Real Men Feel: Episode 71, Movember – Saving Lives with Moustaches

How Moustaches Can Save Lives, Episode 71, November 21, 2017

Real Men Feel’s Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, are joined by Owen Sharp, CEO of Movember Foundation USA, to share the progress made by Movember in the 10 years since its creation. More than a moustache, Owen and the Movember team are striving to reduce the rate of male suicides by 25%, and ultimately, the number of men dying prematurely by 25%, by 2030.

The Movember Foundation is the only charity tackling men’s health on a global scale, year round. “We have one goal: to stop men dying too young.”

Movember started in Melbourne, Australia in 2003 to raise awareness for prostate cancer. It is now seen around the globe every November 1st – 30th, with campaigns in 21 countries. They are now the biggest funder of prostate cancer research in the world. Movember has expanded to tackle mental health, suicide prevention and testicular cancer as well.

Even though it is late November, you can still register and start growing your ‘stache, make a donation, or host an event as part of Movember. All year long you can spread the word and talk about it. You can even grab some Know Thy Nuts, soap on a rope!

Learn more about Movember at https://us.movember.com/

Check out Movember on Facebook: facebook.com/MovemberUSA/

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Movember.com

Real Men Feel: Movember

Real Men Feel: Episode 59, The Good Athlete Project with Jim Davis

Real Men Feel - Good Athlete Project

The Good Athlete Project with Jim Davis Episode 59, May 9, 2017

This week on Real Men Feel, Appio Hunter is joined by Jim Davis, founder of The Good Athlete Project, to discuss the power of using sports in character and leadership development.

Jim Davis is a high school staff and student wellness director in Illinois as well as being an athlete, artist, poet, writer and founder of The Good Athlete Project. Jim is passionate about athletics and the arts and shatters so many stereotypes about being a “jock.” Jim doesn’t subscribe to any stereotypes, be it jock, artist, man or anything. Stereotypes, at the most basic level, are lazy thinking. At their worst level they are hateful and dangerous.

Jim explores the metaphor of an anchor and tether. What anchors someone is their absolute belief in an area of life and how much wiggle room there is. If we find out we’re wrong, we need to be willing and able to pick up and move our anchor.

“Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.” ~Abraham Lincoln

Jim also shares his path to bringing the Good Athlete Project into the world. As an athlete he did his best to influence and be good for his teammates. Then he pursed that positive influence as a coach, and then expanded that to coach other coaches to meet the needs of more students, and now scaling that model even further espousing character, culture, equity and service.

“Competing is showing off all the good work you’ve done.” ~ Jim Davis

The Good Athlete Project is an international, sports-based, non-profit focused on outreach, leadership training and research. The goal is maximizing athletics as an educational platform. Sports gone wrong is something that fuels Jim. The notion of “locker room” talk and similar poor outcomes of athletics. Sports has the power of momentum, and the Good Athlete Project wants to get in front of stigma inducing behavior.

Being tough does not mean talking tough or degrading women. We made up what “tough” looks like and we can remake it. Ideally there is no barrier to how much we can care about each other.

“If you are part of a team, you should never feel like there is no one to talk to.”~ Jim Davis

The interview wraps up with an interesting discussion on concussions and chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE).

#RealMenFeel

Learn more about the Good Athlete Project at – GoodAthleteProject.com

Connect with Good Athlete Project (coach4kindness) on Twitter or Instagram.

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It’s Okay to be Human

It’s okay to have everything, but still want more.

It’s okay to spend years learning how to walk a spiritual path, but still display non-spiritual emotions when something knocks you off your path.

It’s okay to be enlightened, but still express strong opinions.

It’s okay to be calm, but still show anger.

It’s okay to be happy, but still feel sorrow.

It’s okay show courage, but still admit to being afraid.

It’s okay to love, but still feel hate.

Why?

It’s part of being human.

It’s what we signed up for.

This experience is what we wanted.

So, embrace the totality of who you are, even if you think you don’t know who you are yet… or even if you’re redefining what it means to be you.

It’s okay… because you’re here. Completely, fully here. Right now.

All of you.

Embrace your experience and love it.

Because it’s okay to be human.


About the Author

Appio Hunter, a.k.a. The Emotion Emancipator, is a personal development coach, energy worker, author, and inspirational speaker. He holds certifications as a Happiness Champion and Infinite Possibilities Trainer.

Appio is a self-described crusader for joy. His work blends multiple disciplines to show everyone how they can embrace their personal power and experience clarity, emotional freedom, balance, inner peace, and joy every day. He is also co-host of the weekly podcast Real Men Feel along with his good friend and fellow coach Andy Grant. You can learn more about Appio at AppioHunter.com.

Real Men Feel: Episode 48, The Anatomy of Awareness with guest, Amanda Foy

Real Men Feel Show

The Anatomy of Awareness with Amanda Foy, Episode 48, February 21, 2017

On the latest Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined by their friend, Emotional Strength Trainer Amanda Foy, to explore emotions, awareness, and how emotional trauma affects our cells and health.

Amanda says that guilt and shame are the only useless emotions. They have no purpose but to make you feel horrible. Guilt is acceptance without positive action. Shame is a lack of acceptance or acknowledgment of having a human experience. While trauma is defined by each person. What one person finds traumatic another person may not. It can depend on what we were taught and how we are expected to be.

“When you get sick, it is your body’s way of taking you out of a situation you don’t know how to handle. Illness comes when you are too stubborn to do the work you need to do, so it is a good thing.” ~ Amanda Foy

#RealMenFeel

Amanda’s favorite book: The Secret Language of Your Body

Connect with Amanda at AmandaFoy.com.au, Twitter @amandafoy_est, and Facebook AmandaFoyOfficial

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 22, Planned Manhood – Sexual Education for Men

Planned Manhood, Sexual Education for Men with guest, Gabriel DiCristofaro, Episode 22, August 9, 2016.

Andy and Appio are joined by the founder of PlannedManhood.org, Gabriel DiCristofaro to talk sexual education and health for men.

This is a wide-ranging talk that touches on rubbers, vasectomies, adoption and more. Discover what you can do to help meet the goal of increasing adoptions by 20%.

#PlannedManhood

Learn more and donate PlannedManhood.org

#RealMenFeel

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Accepting What Is

Accepting What IsEach morning I pull a couple of Oracle Cards and post one on Instagram and Facebook. Yesterday morning it was, Accepting What Is, and it connected with me even more than usual. My family is dealing with some health issues, and I’ve been witnessing acceptance in others and myself on a daily basis.

My father has been on a slow mental and physical decline for a decade or so. His dementia and physical degradation have picked up speed in the past couple weeks which coincides with his wife going in and out of the hospital twice this month dealing with her own health and pain issues. They have both had to accept needing help, something they’ve resisted for a long time. Fortunately, they have support via insurance, their finances, and nearby friends and family as well.

Two days ago my wife and I accompanied my dad to visit his wife in the hospital. He needs a wheelchair to get around the hospital these days, and he nearly fell every time he tried to get in or out of it as well as in or out of the car. I had to help him go to the bathroom, a first for us both, and it was all I could do to be present and truly helpful and not just mentally checkout and disappear.

Yesterday he decided to find out if he could still drive or not. At our urging it had been a couple of weeks since he’d been behind the wheel. The short drive he took scared the shit out of him as he came close to multiple accidents, he later reported. For the first time, he’s accepted his driving days are over. Of course, the challenge will be, does he remember that tomorrow? When he got back home to an empty house following his wild ride yesterday afternoon, he fell. It took him 90 minutes to get himself back up. That has ended his arguments of not needing someone there all the time. He no longer can track the day or time. He can no longer be trusted to take his medication on his own, and we’ve had to call in help to be with him at night and soon now expand it to 24×7.

Even knowing his mental state, it is still challenging for me to not listen to him, to not believe him, to not trust him. That is what I must accept. I can no longer be the good son who does what his father asks. He no longer knows what is in his, or anyone else’s,’ best interest. He can no longer be trusted or believed. That has been the most difficult, and unexpected, part for me.

I’m sure some men are excellent caretakers and comfort providers, but I am not. I want to run and ignore this all. I thank God on an hourly basis for my wife, Lori, who has been going to his house every day for the last few weeks. Being a caretaker is something that comes naturally to her, plus she doesn’t have the baggage of growing up with this man weighing on things too.

This is the message on the Accepting What Is card.
It is an act of both power and faith to love, honor, and accept what is. At times it can be challenging to truly accept what’s occurring in your life. When you do so, however, you affirm that there’s a plan for your life and that everything is working for your highest good. Accepting “what is” doesn’t mean that you can’t work to change it, because you can. It does mean that there is gentle, yet profound, awareness that every experience can support your highest good and spiritual evolution.
If there is something you just can’t accept, start by gently acknowledging the fact that you can’t accept it. As you increase your own acceptance in life, this will help others be at peace in their own lives.”
Acceptance. It can be a real bitch.

***

About The Author
Andy GrantAndy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Akashic Records Reader and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Infinite Possibilities and Reiki, as well as other leadership programs and energy work modalities.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing and is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. He also facilitates monthly men’s groups. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we as human beings can feel, and he is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be. Learn more about Andy at NavitasCoach.com

Men and Body Image

It is pretty rare to hear men talk openly about their bodies. Which is a shame. Guys are subject to as much bullshit about what their body is “supposed” to look like as women are. We all have unrealistic goals by comparing ourselves to doctored photos of bodies beyond perfection in the media. Body shaming and poor self-image is an issue for many men as well as women.

My years of depression and suicidal ideation were undoubtedly never helped by my thoughts of my own body. Today, I like me, like taking photos and have no problem looking at them, but if I were to focus solely on my body or prance around in a Speedo, it would be a very different story. Then I’d probably only see what I don’t like, too much there, not enough here… I would hide, feel ashamed, and quickly despise myself.

This video was recently shared with the Real Men Feel Facebook group, and I love it. I’m not familiar with the Try Guys, but I’m a fan now. It is so refreshing to see young guys talk openly and honestly about their body image. Check it out.

Imperfect and beautiful

***

About The Author
Andy GrantAndy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Akashic Records Reader and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Infinite Possibilities and Reiki, as well as other leadership programs and energy work modalities.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing and is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. He also facilitates monthly men’s groups. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we as human beings can feel, and he is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be. Learn more about Andy at NavitasCoach.com