Real Men Feel: Ep. 144, The Price of Unexpressed Emotions

The Price of Unexpressed Emotions Episode 144, August 20, 2019

Husband, father, speaker, writer, coach, and trainer of men, George Stoimenov, shares the toll that unexpressed emotions took on his family, relationships, community and soul. Part of you dies when you aren’t free to express yourself.

“Depression is the opposite of expression.” ~ George Stoimenov

George shares his powerful experiences from living in an oppressed, communist Bulgaria, to meeting a girl who demanded more from him, to his introspection, growth and being of service to other men. Insights into depression, relationships, happiness, and being more than a boy in a man’s body abound in this interview. George and Andy touche on inner child work, forgiveness, expression, and the power in being childlike.

Topics and Questions Include:

  • (2:18) What was it like growing up in Bulgaria?
  • (3:39) The curse of my existence.
  • (4:43) What were you taught or shown in terms of how men are supposed to act?
  • (9:06) How did you deal with your self-hatred?
  • (12:41) What was the change that allowed you to express your emotions?
  • (19:30) How to forgive people.
  • (23:00) Why do you think many men hide or deny their emotions?
  • (29:43 )What’s the toll stuffing your emotions took on you?
  • (32:00) How did your unexpressed emotions affect other people?
  • (33:47) How do you play today?
  • (36:15) You’ve created a resource called The Men’s Corner – tell me about that?
  • (37:48) What prompted you to want to work with other men?
  • (39:40) Can you share a habit, practice, program, or book that has helped you?
  • (43:16) How’s your relationship with your dad today?
  • (46:35) What is one thing you wish more men knew?
  • (49:32) What are you proud of?
  • (50:33) What are you looking forward to?

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“I wish for more men to be strong in their broken places.” ~ George Stoimenov

Connect with George at TrainingForMen.co.uk and MensCorner.co.uk.

Explore the books Clifford recommended, Broken: My Story of Addiction and Redemption and King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine.

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The Price of Unexpressed Emotions

Photo by Jasper Graetsch on Unsplash

Real Men Feel: Ep. 142, Regular Guy Chat with Al

Regular Guy Chat with Al Episode 142, August 6, 2019

Self-described “regular guy,” Al Flemming, joins us to talk about life, fatherhood, happiness and being a man. Al messaged the show about wanting to hear more stories from everyday guys. Guys living extraordinary lives and the struggles they’ve overcome.

“I want to be happy in life. As long as I continue to do that and be a naturally loving person, then I’m a success.” ~ Al Flemming

Al’s message to the show: “I think shows with regular guys -people who don’t have books, clients, websites (or ones that are not updated ) etc.- yet still get up and keep going everyday. Regular guys who have stories that are inspiring because they could just fade into non-existence but that just keep going. That fascinates me and inspires me. I just wonder why those guys (yes guys like me) are not highlighted. Not everyone’s “greatness” includes books, social media presence, etc.”

Topics and Questions Include:

  • Why did you reach out?
  • Attention versus being of service.
  • Importance of being a dad.
  • Al’s experience as a son.
  • What Al has overcome.
  • How did you learn what it means to be a man?
  • What is a great dad?
  • What does ‘regular guy’ mean to you?
  • Can you share a habit, practice, program, or book that has helped you?
  • Is life easy or hard?
  • What is one thing you wish more men knew?
  • What keeps you up at night?
  • What are you proud of?


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“If I’m not willing to be open and honest about this, then I don’t need it in my life.” ~ Al Flemming

Connect with Al on Instagram, Twitter or his rarely updated website, AlSpeakUp.com.

Check out MankindProject and Easton Mountain.

Explore the books Al mentioned, The Four Agreements and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 141, Do Politics & Men’s Work Mix?

Do Politics & Men’s Work Mix? Episode 141, July 30, 2019

Curator of TheMensSchool, Jan Hutchins, returns to the Real Men Feel to talk about political discourse, men’s work, hallucinations, division, responsibility, and the shit hitting the fan. TheMensSchool is a public Facebook group with over 4,000 members. It is a learning community cultivating the deep sacred masculine in us all (clear, compassionate, cooperative, secure).

“It is part of being a man of the world to play a role in the experience you’re having. To take responsibility for your world and your life.” ~ Jan Hutchins

Jan is two-time prior guest of the show and we begin by revisiting a previous topic; Is life easy or hard?
Then we move on to the subject many try to avoid but has become too dominant an aspect of our culture – politics. Specifically, what prompted him to begin sharing political posts in TheMensSchool and what the reaction has been. The conversation takes us to hallucinations, trauma, chaos, and how best to chill through the showman’s shit storm.

Topics and Questions Include:

  • Revisiting, Is life easy or hard?
  • Suffering.
  • What made you decide to first share political articles and opinions?
  • What’s the response been?
  • Why Jan likes push-back.
  • Why have we become so jaded and cynical?
  • Is this extreme divisiveness the new normal or an aberration?
  • Do you have any fears or hopes around a Trump reelection?
  • A viral response from Trump supporters.
  • What might unwind the tension?
  • The corporate takeover of the U.S.
  • What might prompt the bringing together of people again?
  • Do politics and men’s work go together?
  • What is one thing you wish more men knew?


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“We are living in a pandemic of stress, trauma, and attachment disorder.” ~ Jan Hutchins

Connect with Jan on Facebook

Check out TheMensSchool

Explore the book Jan mentioned, The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 140, That’s What a Man Does

That’s What a Man Does Episode 140, July 24, 2019

Inspirational speaker, author, combat veteran, and dog trainer, Ryan Matthews, discusses reshaping what a man does by experiencing the healing power of sharing your trauma to grow and help others.

“I had been a boy in a man body for most of my life.” ~ Ryan Matthews

Ryan shares a wide range of experiences ranging from being a drug dealer to training elite Army K-9s, to multiple near-death experiences, and realizing his tough guy, machismo act wasn’t really him. This episode is chock full of authenticity, awareness, vulnerability, and dogs.

Topics and Questions Include:

  • The desire to isolate.
  • How did you get started training dogs?
  • Having a million-dollar business, but feeling like a failure.
  • You’ve had multiple near-death experiences, were they all variations on the same lesson?
  • Why share your pain?
  • How did you open up to your feminine side?
  • Ryan’s song, “That’s What a Man Does.”
  • What are the benefits of being authentic?
  • Why do so many men resist being seen as vulnerable?
  • Life lessons from dogs.
  • Tell us about your first TEDx Talk experience, “Overcoming PTSD Using Dog Training Techniques.”
  • The RCTR formula.
  • Do you prefer hanging out with dogs or people?
  • What is one thing you wish more men knew?
  • What are you proud of?


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“What I thought made me a man, wasn’t necessarily true.” ~ Ryan Matthews

Visit Ryan’s site, WorldOfDogTraining.com

Connect with Ryan on Facebook

Check out Ryan’s books, The Canine Connection: A Training Guide for Owners who Love their Dogs and The Art of Dog Training: Training Secrets From Combat Canine Handler Turned Celebrity Dog Trainer

See Andy’s book, Homer the Hound Dog’s Guide to Happiness: 6 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dog!

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 139, Removing our Emotional Barriers

Removing our Emotional Barriers Episode 139, July 9, 2019

Coach, Matt Dillingham, shares his insights around being willing to look deeper into ourselves and what to do with what you find.

“We are taught to resist what we feel and only express ourselves through anger. e posterchild for avoiding vulnerability. I avoided it at all costs.” ~Matt Dillingham

In the show, Matt shares a technique that eliminated his fear of flying and that he uses to help his client process their emotions.

Topics and Questions Include:

  • What is the biggest reason men commit the majority of crimes?
  • Is expressing emotions natural?
  • Were you ever called weak or a pussy?
  • The problem with focusing only on mindset
  • Is not expressing emotions something men are taught?
  • Are the dangers of a boy crying different than for a man?
  • As an emotional man, how did you end up in the Marines?
  • Why have men been told it is wrong to be vulnerable?
  • How do we remove our emotional barriers?
  • The secret of life
  • How do we best deal with our emotions?
  • What is one thing you wish more men knew?
  • What are you looking forward to?


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“Feelings drive behavior.” ~ Matt Dillingham

Connect with Matt on Facebook and Instagram

Check out the book, Feelings Drive Behaviour

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 133, Feeling The Fears

Feeling The Fears Episode 133, March 9, 2019

A heavy dose of sharing with Andy as I share from my heart about terror, emotional tunnel vision, and the challenges I’ve chosen to face this year. Real Men Feel isn’t just a slogan or catch phrase, it is how I live.

“Life is amazing and life is on your side.” ~Andy Grant

I did this as an impromptu video on Facebook the morning of Friday, March 8, 2019. I recorded and posted it. I didn’t watch until 24 hours later and decided to release as a podcast episode as an example of man willing to openly share his feelings.

Topics and Questions Include:

  • I’ve been crying half the days I’ve been home since vacation.
  • Feeling the Fears
  • A debilitating Terror
  • 3 Challenging Things on my plate for this year: Kabballah, Ritual Master, Mount Kilimanjaro
  • Emotional tunnel vision
  • Lineage of suicide
  • What if…


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“I literally was made for this.” ~ Andy Grant


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Real Men Feel: Ep. 130, The Emotions of Vacations

The Emotions of Vacations Episode 130, February 24, 2019

After returning from a trip to Israel and Jordan, Andy Grant reflects on the emotions that can show up during and after vacations.

Everybody loves vacations, right?

Apparently not, since 47% of Americans didn’t take all of their vacation time in 2017 and 21% left more than five available vacation days up for grabs.

Above the Treasury at Petra

Above the iconic Treasury at Petra, Jordan.

My wife and I recently returned home for a two week trip to the Middle East, spending one week in Israel and the next week in Jordan. The rock-carved city of Petra was the main reason behind the trip. But both countries had a lot to offer and warrant repeat visits.

We had a fantastic time full of ancient sites, sacred places, and friendly people. I learned a lot about the religion and politics of the area and found I had many misconceptions about the Middle East from growing up in the US. My time in Israel was probably the most intellectually and politically challenging trip I’ve taken. We talked with Arabs, Jews, Christians, Muslims, Palestinians, Isralies, and Jordanians.

Toward the final days, I noticed moments of sadness that things were winding down.
The sadness was mixed with a feeling that two weeks was long enough and I was ready to return home. I recalled years earlier when it was normal for me to feel depressed with days remaining of a vacation because I so dreaded my return to daily life.

Some people like vacations of sitting on the beach and doing nothing. I prefer active holidays where I do things I don’t usually do, especially when I worked as a cube dweller for corporate America.

When I tried to just lay on the beach in the past, my thoughts would turn negative. I’d focus on all the things I didn’t like instead of relaxing. Then I’d drink to remove those thoughts. That worked in the short term, but if I just wanted to drink, I could do that at home much cheaper, so I quickly stopped those sort of trips too.

I’ve visited such places as Machu Pichu, Stonehenge, and Easter Island. I’ve been white water rafting, rappelling, and hiking in Europe, South America, and Africa. A staycation can be nice, but my favorite vacations are ones when I need another vacation to recover from them.

Floating in the Dead Sea

Floating in the Dead Sea

Even today, I can recall being in the jungles of Belize in 2005, but feeling very down because the following Monday I’d be back at work. It was a time that I thought I hated my job, and sometimes my life. Yet, a few days prior, I was enjoying myself and life.

These realizations helped me learn the power of being present.
When fully present, I felt better. I wondered why was it that I was time traveling in my thinking.

Why was I ignoring the fantastic experiences I was having to jump forward to my return to the mundane?

I decided that since I could be full of energy and joy on a vacation when I was present and focused on what I was doing, that I would do my best to live like I was on vacation. All the time.

I did pretty well at that for a long time. Treating each day like it was new. Looking for things that were unusual, special, and fun. If those weren’t apparent, I find a way to bring those elements to what I was doing.

The Western Wall

The Western Wall, or Wailing Wall, in the Old City of Jerusalem.

So as I noticed some sadness as this trip was winding down, I explored what exactly I was feeling sad about.
I was going to miss the people. We were a group of 13 in Israel and then 16 in Jordan. I liked my instant family of global citizens traveling, sharing, dining together for long days full of once in a lifetime experiences.

Back home, I often work in isolation. I sometimes forget to admit to myself that I actually like people. I was going to miss having a guide take me to amazing new places every day. I was going to miss having every day planned by someone else when I just needed to show up and be marveled. I would miss walking into restaurants and recognizing a dozen faces. There was no responsibility or stress. Just being present and amazed.

Realizing that I was sad over what was ending as opposed to what I was returning to, made me smile.


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Real Men Feel: Ep. 109, Self-Love for Men

Self-Love for Men Episode 109, September 4, 2018

This week Andy Grant is joined by septuagenarian, Fuzzy Manning, to discuss the core issue behind so many challenges men face; a lack of self-love. No, this isn’t a show about masturbation.

Fuzzy is active with the Mankind Project, has been involved in men’s work for 40 years, and is a student of Ayurvedic and Aboriginal medicine.

“All personal growth work is a return to love.” ~Fuzzy Manning

Soak up some of Fuzzy’s wisdom around missions, purpose, living a life of significance and much, much more.

Topics Covered Include:

  • How do you describe self-love?
  • Cries for love, and offerings for love
  • Conditional love
  • How might parents teach children self-love?
  • The impact of gratitude.
  • The power of vulnerability.
  • The toll of growing up in competition
  • The mission all men have
  • The most significant causes of suicide among men.
  • The ManKind Project
  • What are some practices or steps to experience more self-love?

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“My mission on this planet is to help others live a life of significance.” ~Fuzzy Manning

Fuzzy’s recommended books:

Connect with Fuzzy on Facebook and Instagram.

Check out Andy’s online Power of Gratitude class.

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Real Men Feel with Fuzzy Manning

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 96, The Man Effect: Defining Masculinity with Timothy Wenger

The Man Effect: Defining Masculinity Episode 96, June 5, 2018

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant is joined by photographer, writer, and coach, Timothy Wenger, direct from Belgrade, Serbia to talk about his global quest to define masculinity, one person at a time.

I have often wondered what it means to be a man, but in 2014 I decided I couldn’t wait any longer. So I started this project.” ~Timothy Wenger

The Man Effect was started all because of this one question, “If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?” Every person interviewed, over 300 so far, has answered this question.

Topics Covered Include:

  • How did you end up in Serbia?
  • What prompted your desire to define masculinity?
  • What is The Man Effect project?
  • Where have you been?
  • How many men have you photographed?
  • Has there been a common theme in the answers?
  • Do you recall an answer that surprised you in any way?
  • Have answers changed based on where you are in the world?
  • What is your ideal goal for this project?
  • What was your life like before starting this quest?
  • Timothy’s favorite questions to ask.
  • Has your definition of masculinity changed as you’ve met more men?
  • What’s next for you?
  • How can people get involved?

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If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be?

Learn more at TheManEffect.com

Connect with Timothy on Facebook

The Man Effect on Facebook

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Real Men Feel with Timothy Wenger

 

Real Men Feel: Ep. 95, Busting Out of The Man Box with Cameron Conaway

Busting Out of The Man Box with Cameron Conaway Episode 95, May 29, 2018

This week, journalist, poet, and speaker, Cameron Conaway, drops in for a discussion around modern masculinity, art, and his path from mixed martial arts to poetry. Cameron spent nearly a decade training to be a professional mixed martial artist, but while attending college at Penn State Altoona, he fell in love with poetry. To him, poetry was as much about mindful living and the radical pursuit of new perspectives as it was about writing.

Cameron’s sixth book, Man Box: Poems, is available now.

“Ultimate vulnerability. That’s manly.” ~Cameron Conaway

Cameron Conaway’s book “Man Box: Poems” is published by Lasting Impact Press, an imprint of Connection Victory Publishing Company, the sponsor of this episode of Real Men Feel.

Topics Covered Include:

  • How did an interest in mixed martial arts AND poetry unfold?
  • Being told to “man up.”
  • Have you always written poetry?
  • What is the “man box?”
  • How do we bust out?
  • The impact of a meditation about his father.
  • The perception of poetry and sexual orientation.
  • How he got into investigative journalism.
  • Does the Man Box exist in all the different countries and societies he’s visited?
  • Have you always been interested in topics related to masculinity?
  • What’s the response been to your poetry?
  • Can you describe your artistic process?
  • Changes that the 2016 election caused in the book.
  • Cameron also shares a few poems from his book.

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See Cameron Conaway Recite the Featured Poem from His Book ‘Man Box: Poems’

Man Box – Poems illuminates the seemingly insignificant patriarchal forces that manifest into a toxic masculinity capable of damaging lives and our planet.

Grab Cameron’s book Man Box: Poems

You can learn more about Cameron at CameronConaway.com

Explore all of Cameron’s books.

Cameron also teaches the #1 rated poetry class on Skillshare.com.

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Cameron Conaway’s book “Man Box: Poems” is published by Lasting Impact Press, an imprint of Connection Victory Publishing Company, the sponsor of this episode of Real Men Feel.


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Real Men Feel with Cameron Conaway