Man Up

I was exposed to this spoken word poem, “Ten Responses to the Phrase ‘Man Up’ ” and Guante just a couple of days ago, like many other people, as a recent video of this performance was shared and has hit over 5 million views on Facebook.

Below is the version he prefers, so that’s the one I’m sharing. I know I’ve said #1 and #10, though I’m honestly not sure if it was ever out loud or not.

 

TEN RESPONSES TO THE PHRASE “MAN UP”

1. Fuck you.

2. If you want to question my masculinity, like a schoolyard circle of curses, like a swordfight with lightsaber erections, save your breath. Because contrary to what you may believe, not every problem can be solved by “growing a pair.” You can’t arm-wrestle your way out of chemical depression. The CEO of the company that just laid you off does not care how much you bench. And I promise, there is no lite beer in the universe full-bodied enough to make you love yourself.

3. Man up? Oh that’s that new superhero, right? Mild-mannered supplement salesman Mark Manstrong says the magic words “MAN UP,” and then transforms into THE FIVE O’CLOCK SHADOW, the massively-muscled, deep-voiced, leather-duster-wearing super-man who defends the world from, I don’t know, feelings.

4. Of course. Why fight to remove our chains, when we can simply compare their lengths? Why step outside the box, when the box has these bad-ass flame decals on it? We men are cigarettes: dangerous, and poisonous, and stupid.

5. You ever notice how nobody ever says “woman up?” They just imply it. Because women and the women’s movement figured out a long time ago that being directly ordered around by commercials, magazines and music is dehumanizing. When will men figure that out?

6. The phrase “Man Up” suggests that competence and perseverance are uniquely masculine traits. That women—not to mention any man who doesn’t eat steak, drive a pickup truck, have lots of sex with women—are nothing more than background characters, comic relief, props. More than anything, though, it suggests that to be yourself—whether you, wear skinny jeans, listen to Lady Gaga, rock a little eyeliner, drink some other brand of light beer, or write poetry—will cost you.

7. How many boys have to kill themselves before this country acknowledges the problem? How many women have to be assaulted? How many trans people have to be murdered? We teach boys how to wear the skin of a man, but we also teach them how to raise that skin like a flag and draw blood for it.

8. Boy babies get blue socks. Girl babies get pink socks. What about purple? What about orange, yellow, chartreuse, cerulean, black, tie-dyed, buffalo plaid, rainbow…

9. I want to be free, to express myself. Man up. I want to have meaningful, emotional relationships with my brothers. Man up. I want to be weak sometimes. Man up. I want to be strong in a way that isn’t about physical power or dominance. Man up. I want to talk to my son about something other than sports. Man up. I want to be who I am. Man up.

10. No.

I have inquired about him being on Real Men Feel, but he’s a very busy man at the moment. Stay tuned.

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About The Author
Andy GrantAndy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Akashic Records Reader and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Infinite Possibilities and Reiki, as well as other leadership programs and energy work modalities.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing, and is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. He also facilitates monthly men’s groups. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we as human beings can feel, and he is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be. Learn more about Andy at NavitasCoach.com

I Love When People Swear At Me

Really! I love it when people get so upset with me that they let the swears rip. Well, not in all cases. I’m not talking about road rage or bar brawls, but rather when I’m intentionally triggering people to take a look at themselves or challenging some limiting belief they might have.

I first discovered I enjoyed this with one of the earliest videos I posted around suicide six years ago. I share this story in my book, Still Here: How To Succeed In Life After Failing At Suicide, and when I speak about suicide prevention, but I’ve got a short video called The Best Way To Die and while some people comment thanking me for the video, the vast majority of comments are furious, swear-filled rants. At first, this really bothered me, but as I’ve gotten more comfortable with myself I’ve come to take a certain satisfaction in such comments. I know for at least a couple of minutes that the person writing has stopped beating themselves up, has stopped searching for a way to die and is directing their anger at my instead at only at themselves.
This morning I received an email titled, Fuck You. Needless to say it got my attention and I was thrilled to see that it was in response to the Real Men Feel podcast. I love that I have multiple platforms and messages triggering people into “hating” me for a moment as they are willing to open up to allowing more for them.
Please note: I’m still a fan of receiving pleasant emails too, so you don’t have to only swear at me.
The sort of emails I get
Thank you, Sean, and thanks to all the Real Men Feel listeners, readers, viewers, contributors and fans for being the men (and women) you are!

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About The Author
Andy GrantAndy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Akashic Records Reader and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Infinite Possibilities and Reiki, as well as other leadership programs and energy work modalities.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing, and is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. He also facilitates monthly men’s groups. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we as human beings can feel, and he is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be. Learn more about Andy at NavitasCoach.com

New Warrior Training Adventure (NWTA) with The ManKind Project

This past weekend I took part in the signature program of the ManKind Project, the New Warrior Training Adventure (NWTA) weekend. I learned of it thanks to Real Men Feel when we spoke with Boysen Hodgson in episode #26.

I’ve been to dozens of multi-day personal growth events, but never one exclusively with men. I hoped I would gain some clarity around my working with men, and I was also looking forward to learning more about the ManKind Project and how they run an event as I do see live events for Real Men Feel some day soon.

I gained all of that and more… a LOT more. All my expectations were insanely exceeded.

As I like to do when I’m venturing off into the unknown, I made a “before” and “after” video. So here they are.

 Before NWTA – October 21, 2016

After NWTA – October 24, 2016

Check out NWTA, they are held all over the world, and sign up! I cannot recommend this enough!

I’ll share more in the October 25 episode of Real Men Feel which is being recorded live Tuesday at 8pm Eastern. If you join us live you’ll be able to share comments, ask questions and even be fully seen and heard as part of the show if you choose. We use a platform called Zoom and you’ll need to download some software the first time you use it. RealMenFeel.org/show

UPDATE: The show is live and you can check it out here.

The journey continues.

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About The Author
Andy GrantAndy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Akashic Records Reader and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Infinite Possibilities and Reiki, as well as other leadership programs and energy work modalities.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing, and is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. He also facilitates monthly men’s groups. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we as human beings can feel, and he is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be. Learn more about Andy at NavitasCoach.com

Real Men Feel: Ep. 29, Welcome to The Men’s Group: The Movie, with Joseph Culp

Real Men Feel

Welcome to The Men’s Group: The Movie with Joseph Culp, Episode 29, September 27, 2016

On this episode of Real Men Feel, Appio Hunter, is joined by actor/director, Joseph Culp, for a talk about his latest project, Welcome to The Men’s Group. The film is a comedic drama exploring a men’s group and men’s issues. Joseph has been active in the men’s movement for over 20 years. #RealMenFeel

Learn more about the movie at TheMensGroupMovie.com
Connect with them on Facebook.com/TheMensGroupFilm

Like the show on Facebook facebook.com/realmenfeelshow

Subscribe to the Real Men Feel podcast in iTunes.

Join our private Facebook group: facebook.com/groups/realmenfeel/

Like to watch? View this episode on YouTube.

Enjoy Real Men Feel on Stitcher.

Listen to the podcast on Google Play.

Let us know what you thought here in the comments or shoot an email to realmenfeel@gmail.com

Real Men Feel: Ep. 28, Turning Conventional Success into Authentic Fulfillment with Tanya Arler

Real Men Feel with Tanya

Turning Conventional Success into Authentic Fulfillment with Tanya Arler , Episode 28, September 20, 2016

On this episode of Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, are joined by personal change facilitator, Tanya Arler, for an exploration of conventional success versus authentic fulfillment. The wide-ranging conversation touches on intuition, fear, excitement, and times of transition. Tanya also shares a wonderful story of synchronicity around a Trans Am and reads a poem written by her dad in 1956. #RealMenFeel

Tanya Arler is about real change, right now. Her unique techniques create deep shifts and a-ha moments that will help you shape your life into exactly what you want it to be. She listens deeply, responds authentically and guides you whole-heartedly.
Learn more about Tanya at TanyaArler.com
Connect with Tanya at Facebook.com/LovingLifewithTanya

Like the show on Facebook facebook.com/realmenfeelshow

Subscribe to the Real Men Feel podcast in iTunes.

Join our private Facebook group: facebook.com/groups/realmenfeel/

Like to watch? View this episode on YouTube.

Here’s the Trans Am mentioned on the show!
Trans Am

Enjoy Real Men Feel on Stitcher.

Listen to the podcast on Google Play.

Let us know what you thought here in the comments or shoot an email to realmenfeel@gmail.com

What Does “Real Men Feel” Mean?

People often tell me the like the sound of “Real Men Feel” but then ask, what does it mean? Well, to me, it means a world where men and women see that being real, being authentic, being tough also means being emotional – as in being aware of your own emotions, being willing to feel them and express them too. It doesn’t always mean expressing them on video, but that is often how I choose to go so that others can see I’m still a man, even when I’m feeling.


This video was originally posted on my blog a couple of days ago. I showed it do my dad yesterday and he really liked it.

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About The Author
Andy GrantAndy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Akashic Records Reader and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Infinite Possibilities and Reiki, as well as other leadership programs and energy work modalities.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing, and is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. He also facilitates monthly men’s groups. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we as human beings can feel, and he is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be. Learn more about Andy at NavitasCoach.com

Real Men Feel: Ep. 26, The ManKind Project with Boysen Hodgson

Real Men Feel: ManKind Project

The ManKind Project, with guest Boysen Hodgson, Episode 26, September 6, 2016
What the hell is the mankind project?

On this episode of Real Men Feel, Andy Grant and Appio Hunter, explore The ManKind Project with Director of Marketing and Communications, Boysen Hodgson. Boysen shares the mission, origins and much more regarding The ManKind Project and their New Warrior Training Adventure. Beginning with three guys in 1984, MKP now reaches 10,000 men each week via men’s groups in the United States alone, and more than 60,000 men have gone through their weekend intensive.  #RealMenFeel

Learn more about MKP at ManKindProject.org

Like the show on Facebook facebook.com/realmenfeelshow

Subscribe to the Real Men Feel podcast in iTunes.

Join our private Facebook group: facebook.com/groups/realmenfeel/

Want to see us? View this episode on YouTube.

Enjoy Real Men Feel on Stitcher.

Listen to the podcast on Google Play.

Let us know what you thought here in the comments or shoot an email to realmenfeel@gmail.com

Strong Enough To Be Sad

A couple of weeks ago while I was on vacation visiting amusement parks on the US East Coast, which I dubbed the Great East Coast Coaster Tour of 2016, another roller coaster was happening at my employer. There was a sudden roller coaster of budget cuts, which cut me – while on vacation! My job officially ended the last day of my vacation, but fortunately some wise managers decided to find some funding to ensure two weeks notice for me. Also while away my stepmother went under hospice care and is pretty much waiting to die. My father, who suffers from dementia and multiple forms of cancer, is not taking this situation well to say the least. He’s stormed off furious a few times, and was even lost while only a few houses away. I don’t share this for pity or to present myself as some sort of victim of life, but merely to share what’s been going on.

While navigating these changes, my wife was told she wouldn’t be invited back to something she loves being a part of – via an email. Since there wasn’t much I could do about the prior situations I’ve mentioned, I sure wanted to go have an unpleasant conversation with the sender of that email. Anger was a welcome change, especially since I couldn’t yell at my stepmother, dad or anyone at work. Well, I guess I could, but I knew there was nothing to gain from doing so.

With my history of depression and suicidal thoughts, I was worried. I was worried when all these circumstances would gather their forces together to rise up and crush in a overwhelm tidal wave of emotion. Rather surprisingly, I rode out a couple of weeks quite normally. Last Monday, i woke up feeling down and sad. I wondered if this was the beginning of the overwhelming wave. No matter what I did that morning, the sadness sat upon me. I realized it was the first sadness I was aware of since January, which was rather amazing considering how miserable I had been feeling back then.

In the early afternoon, the lingering sadness had built up enough for the tears to start. I decided to dive in, and was completely willing to bawl all afternoon if that’s what was needed. Instead, I cried for less than two minutes. Then I felt fine. Two minutes. That was all it took to release that sadness, that energy. If I had resisted it, decided I wasn’t going to cry about any of this, the sadness would have lingered and grown.

Because I was willing to feel, I’ve felt great ever since. Felt great even while consoling my dad who is very upset that his wife is dying before he does. Today, we are headed to his doctor where he’ll be told that his cancer has returned (The doctor gave us a heads-up already). I don’t know how he’ll take it, but I know I can handle whatever comes next. Not because I’m tough or strong, but because I’m willing to feel.
sad

 

 

 

 

 

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About The Author
Andy GrantAndy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Akashic Records Reader and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Infinite Possibilities and Reiki, as well as other leadership programs and energy work modalities.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing, and is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. He also facilitates monthly men’s groups. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we as human beings can feel, and he is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be. Learn more about Andy at NavitasCoach.com

Where Are The Men?

This fantastic video has gone viral all over Facebook recently. Check out this call to men from Chaim Dunbar and Rare Media.

Here we are: Real Men Feel. Join us.

I am thrilled to announce that Chaim Dunbar will be appearing on the Real Men Feel show on Tuesday, August 16.

Men, do you hear the call? Where do you stand?
#WhereAreTheMen
#HereAreTheMen

Real Men Feel with Chaim Dunbar

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About The Author
Andy GrantAndy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Akashic Records Reader and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Infinite Possibilities and Reiki, as well as other leadership programs and energy work modalities.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing, and is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. He also facilitates monthly men’s groups. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we as human beings can feel, and he is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be. Learn more about Andy at NavitasCoach.com

A Few Brave Men

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is open your mouth. The willingness to be open, honest and vulnerable is a very scary thing, especially for the Western male. Here are some authentic shares around anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction and more.

I was recently honored with being interviewed for MassMen.org as part of a collection of real men sharing their personal experiences with mental health. MassMen is a comprehensive resource for Massachusetts men and their loved ones, offering statewide mental health information, resources, and online self-assessments.

Check these out. They are all very powerful.

MassMen.org

MassMen.org

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About The Author
Andy GrantAndy Grant is a best-selling author, award-winning speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Akashic Records Reader and suicide prevention activist. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Infinite Possibilities and Reiki, as well as other leadership programs and energy work modalities.

Andy teaches workshops ranging from energy tools to ebook publishing, and is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. He also facilitates monthly men’s groups. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we as human beings can feel, and he is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be. Learn more about Andy at NavitasCoach.com