Author: Andy Grant

Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 101, Balancing Wants, Needs, and Dreams

Balancing Wants, Needs, and Dreams Episode 101, July 10, 2018

This week Andy Grant is joined by blogger and podcaster, Andrew Davis, to discuss the challenges and frustrations men feel around doing what you have to do rather than doing what you want to do.

This is an engaging conversation covering everything from chronic pain, to lessons from maturity, dealing with change and much more. Whether you are 25 or 75, there are nuggets of wisdom and resonance.

“I only need 51%, that is a winning day for me.” ~Andrew Davis

A big part of being a man means you gotta take a risk. If you believe in yourself, taking your shot isn’t that risky.

Topics Covered Include:

  • How do you balance what you want to do and what you have to do?
  • How would you define your wants vs. your needs?
  • Does what you want to do and have to do ever overlap?
  • How has this affected your view of masculinity?
  • Physical challenges leading to hobbies and creativity.
  • The effect of chronic pain on personal morale.
  • What does your podcast cover?
  • What sort of subjects do you blog about?
  • What makes someone less of a man?
  • What were some of your expectations about being a man when you were growing up?
  • What happens on a bad day?
  • How do deal with ongoing life challenges?
  • What is your big goal or dream?

 

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 100, Looking Back and Looking Forward

Looking Back and Looking Forward Episode 100, July 3, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter gather for the 100th episode of Real Men Feel, sharing their highlights, favorite moments and more from the past 2 1/2 years and share news about the future of Real Men Feel.

“Real Men Feel was created to encourage men to allow for and express all of their emotions.” ~Andy Grant

Real Men Feel began on Tuesday, February 23, 2016, on Blab, a social media platform that didn’t come close to lasting as long as this show has. We wanted to remind men that they are human beings, entitled and capable of a full range of emotions.

Originally the goal was to do a monthly show, but the 2nd episode in March 2016 we decided we were enjoying it more than expected and went for making it weekly. We didn’t have an official guest until episode 6 when author and coach, Nick Breau, joined us for the Power of Joy back on April 5, 2016.

Topics Covered Include:

  • How it all began.
  • Real Men Feel by the numbers.
  • Who’s been on the most?
  • What shows and guests stand out to you?
  • More on MGTOW.
  • The impact the show has had on the hosts.
  • What do you think about the state of Men today and perhaps over the course of this show?
  • Any favorite show or types of shows? Deva and Kimberlee
  • What’s the future look like for Appio?
  • Where is Real Men Feel headed?

 

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“Men are not the Vulcans of Star Trek, that is science fiction. We are not emotionless automatons.” ~Appio Hunter

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 99, The Bound Between Men and Dogs

The Connection Between Men and Dogs Episode 99, June 26, 2018

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant is joined by by Richard Morrell and Sean Higgins to discuss the emotional bonds between men and man’s best friend; touching on everything from unconditional love to grief.

“I wrote about the emotional bond between men and dogs back in May, but knew I had to wait longer before I could possibly speak about it.” ~Andy Grant

This is the article that prompted today’s discussion: Men and Their Dogs

Dogs, unlike perhaps anything else in the typical man’s life, give unconditional love and support. Your dog is ALWAYS glad to see you. Your dog ALWAYS loves you, whether you just yelled at him for eating your favorite sneakers or you’ve spent hours tossing a ball to them. No other living creature gives so much emotion, presence, attention and time to a man like a dog. Your dog will never call you names, go behind your back, or leave you for another owner.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Richard and Andy talk about recently putting dogs down.
  • The intensity of grief around losing a dog.
  • The unconditional love dogs offer.
  • The support of dogs when depressed and suicidal.
  • Have you seen men in your family display more emotion regarding their dog than other people?
  • What do you think is behind your connection to your dogs, as a child or adult?
  • Have you ever been surprised by your grief regarding a pet?
  • Do you think men are encouraged to show emotion related to dogs or is it more that they are discouraged in showing emotion in other areas of life?
  • Why do you think the bond between a man and his dog can be so strong?
  • Was the loss of a dog, in life or on screen, a moment that was ok for the adults in your life to cry over when you were a kid?
  • Anything top of mind that you’ve learned from a dog?
  • Some wild stories involving animal communicators are shared.
  • What do we mean when we say “pulling yourself together?”

 

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Need some science?

Why Are Humans and Dogs So Good Living Together
The Science Behind the Dog and Human Relationship

Andy’s posts about his dog, Sadie:
A Dog Guarantees One of the Best Days of Your Life and One of the Worst
Learning From The Master: My Dog

This is the video that Andy saw of Sadie five years ago and had he and his wife rush to the shelter.

Andy’s book: Homer’s Guide to Happiness: Six Life Lessons I Learned From My Dog
Louise Hay and David Kessler’s book: You Can Heal Your Heart

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 98, Healing the Family Father Wound with Jed Diamond

Healing the Family Father Wound Episode 98, June 19, 2018

This week on Real Men Feel, Andy Grant is joined by one of the world’s leading experts on men’s issues, Jed Diamond, Ph.D.

Jed has been a licensed psychotherapist for over 40 years and is the author of twelve books including Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome, his newest book tackles what Jed believes is one problem that surpasses all others in its impact on men, women, and society. That book is My Distant Dad: Healing the Family Father Wound.

“Disconnected males, without a strong sense of inner guidance, can become abusive towards women and destructive towards men.” ~Jed Diamond, Ph.D.

The father wound impacts four critical areas of our lives:

  • Our physical health
  • Our emotional health
  • Our relationship health
  • Our social and political health

The effects of growing up without a loving, engaged, father ripple through the generations and contribute to many of the most serious problems we face in our society today including:

  • Drug and alcohol abuse
  • Depression and suicide
  • Teen pregnancy
  • Sexual dysfunction, harassment, and addiction
  • Poverty
  • Divorce
  • Unhappy, loveless, sexless, and lifeless marriages
  • Crime, conflict, and violence
  • Fear and aggression between groups

Topics Covered Include:

  • Besides being a man, what got you to focus on men’s issues?
  • What is a father wound?
  • Can the family father wound by created by a father who is physically absent as well as a father who is emotionally absent?
  • Does anyone not have a father wound?
  • How doe the father wound impact our lives?
  • Does this wound effect only men?
  • What do children need from their father?
  • What are some of the effects of growing up without a present, loving father?
  • Months before the 2016 presidential election, you wrote an article “The Real Reason Donald Trump Will Be Our Next President” can you remind us of those reasons?
  • What has been most beneficial in your healing?

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According to the National Center for Fathering, “More than 20 million children live in a home without the physical presence of a father. Millions more have dads who are physically present, but emotionally absent. If it were classified as a disease, fatherlessness would be an epidemic worthy of attention as a national emergency.”

Read Jed’s latest book: My Distant Dad: Healing the Family Father Wound, published by Lasting Impact Press, an imprint of Connection Victory Publishing Company.

See all of Jed’s books

Connect with Jed at MenAlive.com

See Jed’s posts on GoodMenProject

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 95, Busting Out of The Man Box with Cameron Conaway

Busting Out of The Man Box with Cameron Conaway Episode 95, May 29, 2018

This week, journalist, poet, and speaker, Cameron Conaway, drops in for a discussion around modern masculinity, art, and his path from mixed martial arts to poetry. Cameron spent nearly a decade training to be a professional mixed martial artist, but while attending college at Penn State Altoona, he fell in love with poetry. To him, poetry was as much about mindful living and the radical pursuit of new perspectives as it was about writing.

Cameron’s sixth book, Man Box: Poems, is available now.

“Ultimate vulnerability. That’s manly.” ~Cameron Conaway

Cameron Conaway’s book “Man Box: Poems” is published by Lasting Impact Press, an imprint of Connection Victory Publishing Company, the sponsor of this episode of Real Men Feel.

Topics Covered Include:

  • How did an interest in mixed martial arts AND poetry unfold?
  • Being told to “man up.”
  • Have you always written poetry?
  • What is the “man box?”
  • How do we bust out?
  • The impact of a meditation about his father.
  • The perception of poetry and sexual orientation.
  • How he got into investigative journalism.
  • Does the Man Box exist in all the different countries and societies he’s visited?
  • Have you always been interested in topics related to masculinity?
  • What’s the response been to your poetry?
  • Can you describe your artistic process?
  • Changes that the 2016 election caused in the book.
  • Cameron also shares a few poems from his book.

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See Cameron Conaway Recite the Featured Poem from His Book ‘Man Box: Poems’

Man Box – Poems illuminates the seemingly insignificant patriarchal forces that manifest into a toxic masculinity capable of damaging lives and our planet.

Grab Cameron’s book Man Box: Poems

You can learn more about Cameron at CameronConaway.com

Explore all of Cameron’s books.

Cameron also teaches the #1 rated poetry class on Skillshare.com.

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Cameron Conaway’s book “Man Box: Poems” is published by Lasting Impact Press, an imprint of Connection Victory Publishing Company, the sponsor of this episode of Real Men Feel.

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 94, A Meeting of Minds on MGTOW

A Meeting of Minds on MGTOW Episode 94, May 15, 2018

This week writer and speaker, Anthony Simeone, returns to Real Men Feel to discuss the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) philosophy with a man who follows it. “Dan” emailed Real Men Feel after hearing Anthony’s prior appearance and requested the opportunity to counter much of what Anthony said about MGTOW, so here we are. Note: This conversation was recorded April 17, 2018

“Marriage is a bad joke. There are better ways to find happiness in life… our central focus is NOT a hatred of women.” ~Dan of MGTOW

The first time we heard of MGTOW was in a piece Anthony wrote earlier this year, Watch Out for Men ‘Goating Their Own Way’. Anthony confesses that he was trying to be provocative and poke at this ideology to garner a reaction. As was the case in the Real Men Feel conversation with MGTOW Universe, Dan was willing and able to step forward and share his experiences with MGTOW without needing to attack anyone.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Dan and Anthony both offer opening statements.
  • What is MGTOW really about?
  • What has the reaction been to Anthony’s posts and interviews?
  • Anthony’s biggest challenge with MGTOW.
  • Finding the middle ground for an open conversation.
  • Red Pill rage.
  • Love is a lie.
  • Is MGTOW saving men’s lives?
  • Is your view of MGTOW different than when you first encountered?

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“Because men are biased toward protecting women, women are biased towards protecting women, no one cares about protecting men.” ~Dan of MGTOW

Watch a video Dan recommends comparing falling in love to smoking crack.

See Andy’s wrap of his MGTOW interaction, Man or Mangina?

Check out Anthony’s writing on GoodMenProject.com

You can learn more about Anthony and his work at livethehero.com.

Explore more on MGTOW at mgtow.com

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RMF - MGTOW Debate

 

Posted on by Andy Grant

Real Men Feel: Ep. 93, Highly Sensitive Men with Rick Belden

Highly Sensitive Men with Rick Belden Episode 93, May 8, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter are joined once again by author, poet, artist, and coach, Rick Belden, to discuss defining masculinity and finding wholeness if you are a Highly Sensitive Man. Rich first wrote about being a highly sensitive man 4 1/2 years ago in a post that has been shared over 2,000 times.

“Sensitivity in men is not generally encouraged or valued in our society.” ~Rick Belden

Being a highly sensitive person (HSP) is not a weakness or disorder. It is based on a personality trait called sensory processing sensitivity (SPS). High sensitivity has pros and cons. It is not a defect, and 1 in 5 men are highly sensitive.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What do you mean by a highly sensitive man?
  • Are there low sensitivity men too?
  • Sensitive to what?
  • What are the pros of being an HSP?
  • How was it growing up as highly sensitive?
  • How do you embrace your sensitivity?
  • When did you know you were highly sensitive?
  • How does this relate to introverts and extroverts?
  • Do highly sensitive men try to alter there sensitivity?
  • The importance of boundaries.
  • Do you think it is easier or more difficult to grow up a sensitive man today?
  • What can be done about being a highly sensitive man?

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“You need to be strong to be a highly sensitive man in our culture.” ~Rick Belden

To learn more about yourself as a highly sensitive person, or the 1 in 5 people in your life who are highly sensitive, check out Dr. Aron’s book and the HSP Self-Test.

Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) Self-Test:

You can learn more about Rick’s Coaching for Men at RickBeldenCoaching.com

Check out Rick’s first appearance on Real Men Feel.

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 92, Is Life Simple or Hard?

Is Life Simple or Hard? Episode 92, May 1, 2018

This week Andy Grant and Appio Hunter engage in a lively discussion with Jan Darwin Hutchins, the founder of The Men School, on whether life is simple or hard, and what can be done to make the hard parts easier. Jan was on the show back in February talking about The Men School and divine masculinity. During that show, he stated something that didn’t sit well with Andy.

“The problem with life is there is no end to the problems.” ~Jan Darwin Hutchins

Jan was invited back to dig deeper into that idea because Andy saw it as a fatalistic and depressing worldview. The result was an upbeat, philosophical conversation with lots of practical advice. Life isn’t this or that; it is everything. Life is the grey area; the journey, not the destination.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Is life simple?
  • Is life hard?
  • Is it both?
  • Offsetting the suffering
  • Black and white thinking
  • Expectations and stories
  • Truth and authenticity
  • A very high-level spin on Buddhism
  • Jordan Peterson
  • Power of breath
  • Why Andy stopped trying to die
  • The constant state of change
  • Doing what you can do, want to do, and should do
  • What is one tip for a man struggling with life’s challenges?

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We live in a world of problems. How we deal with them is the key to how we feel about our lives.

Most of what we believe is not true. They are shared beliefs, or stories, serving as group distractions. They can keep us stuck or empower us.

“Joy by itself isn’t very much fun. There needs to be a Point B to add juice to life. Joy and happiness are a fortunate happening during a day or a life.” – Jan Darwin Hutchins

All three men give tips for men in the depths of life feeling like shit.

Check out Robert Johnson’s books:
We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love
He: Understanding Masculine Psychology
She: Understanding Feminine Psychology

Join The Men School on Facebook

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 91, Conscious Sexuality and Sexual Healing

Conscious Sexuality and Sexual Healing Episode 91, April 24, 2018

This week Andy Grant is joined by writer, podcaster, and coach, Jonti Searll, from South Africa. He has been working in the field of Conscious Sexuality for almost 20 years, creating healing processes, workshops and material that has helped many people create fulfilling experiences and relationships. Jonti shares his journey from aspiring Rabbi to sexuality coach in a very conservative society.

“Orgasm is a trap for men. That creates sex that is performance-based, not pleasure based.” ~Jonti Searll

Orgasms are wonderful, but that is not all there is. We can create possibilities for pleasure, in relationships, in health and all aspects of life. We can access and use our sexual energy as a force for healing, growth, meditation, creativity, and change. Our sexuality connects to all aspects of ourselves and our lives. As we remove our sexual blockages and allow more of that energy to flow, we allow all other energies to flow as we become more conscious, more connected and more alive.

Topics Covered Include:

  • Tell about your podcast, SexTalk.
  • What is Conscious Sexuality?
  • How did you first get involved with this?
  • Jonti’s creative process.
  • Is South Africa an open and inviting country for this sort of work?
  • Is sexuality more than sex?
  • What is our Sexual Energy?
  • What are some examples of sexual healing?
  • How do you see porn impacting sexuality?
  • What sort of workshops and events do you lead?
  • What is loving touch?
  • Do men touch enough?
  • The top six things people want in communication.

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“Porn and chick flicks are both fantasy worlds.” ~Jonti Searll

Most men have a friction-based goal for sex. The goal should be pleasure.

See the post that first caught Andy’s eye – Loving Men.

Our sexuality is linked to all of who we are; our sexual energy is our life-force. Releasing the blockages we’ve created and freeing ourselves from the limitations of the past allows us to create lives, relationships, and experiences of incredible beauty.

Our sexual energy is a force for not only personal transformation but has the power to be used to change our world. This is Jonti’s mission.

Learn more about Jonti at ErosLife.co.za.
Check out his SexTalk Podcast.
Connect with Jonti on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube.

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Real Men Feel: Ep. 90, What is MGTOW?

What is MGTOW? with MGTOW Universe Episode 90, April 17, 2018

This week Andy Grant is joined by a man who goes by the name, “MGTOW Universe,” to share his thoughts on what MGTOW is and isn’t. If you aren’t familiar with the term, MGTOW stands for Men Going Their Own Way. This show is a follow up to Men Going Their Own Way with Anthony Simeone, which we did last month and got lots of comments on YouTube and Soundcloud. Even though most of them simply attacked and called me names, Real Men Feel did find some men we could engage with.

“To be a man today, when communicating with women, is extremely dangerous. It can destroy you.” ~MGTOW Universe

After hearing that MGTOW was a group of angry men who hate women and blame them for everything, Andy was eager to have a conversation with someone involved in MGTOW. At the core, MGTOW is concerned with male disposability and believes that society doesn’t care about men and that women are not held accountable. They think that any man who looks at the pros and cons of being in a relationship with a woman, removing all emotion, will see the sane and obvious choice is not to get involved.

Topics Covered Include:

  • What is MGTOW?
  • How did you first get involved with it?
  • Why do you hide your identity?
  • Do you speak for yourself or are you representing MGTOW?
  • Is there a leader or founder?
  • What is the goal of MGTOW?
  • Is this good for society?
  • This seems like a very defensive stance, why?
  • Is this an asexual or homosexual lifestyle?
  • What is your definition of feminism?
  • What would it take for you to believe that society cares about men?

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“We offer men and boys a world of traps. Most men will get fucked.” ~MGTOW Universe

MGTOW U says that we’ve been conditioned to believe that marriage is fulfilling, but emotions change — it is just too risky. Every relationship ends and most end in court which is a system that is entirely biased against men.

Sadly, MGTOWs don’t believe any of the problems they point out can be fixed, so they withdraw and “go their own way.” In the end, MGTOW struck Andy as an extremely pessimistic worldview, but he agreed with MU that society needs to listen to angry men; before it is too late.

See MGTOW Universe on YouTube, or connect with him on Twitter.

Other comments from MGTOWs:

it’s extremely clear that if a male can be happy as a single male..it is most prudent to adopt that as a life trait. If a male can be happy without any or any more children..it is most prudent to refrain from procreating.
And there you have the sum and total of the “MGTOW” mindset. It’s just Men with Feelings..who have certain Facts right.
For two generations we’ve raised girls to believe they don’t need men to be happy. Men go MGTOW and everyone loses their shit.
Here in mgtow we get attacked so much that the default position is defense.
Our goal is to help men find peace in a world that hates them.

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RMF with MGTOW Universe