Real Men Feel: Ep. 303, Did Your Partner Betray You? | Recovering From Betrayal Part 2

June 2, 2023

Did Your Partner Betray You? | Recovering From Betrayal Part 2 Episode 303, June 2, 2023

Today is part 2 of Recovering From Betrayal, focusing on a man betrayed by his wife. See part 1.

My returning guest, Vanessa Cardenas, is your trusted advisor for Betrayal and Transformation. Vanessa is a highly experienced C-Suite Executive, Mentor, Coach, and Speaker with a degree in Industrial Psychology. She is also the founder and CEO of Understanding Ear, LLC, where she empowers individuals and groups to heal from betrayal, amplify their authenticity, and find love and happiness on their terms.

Vanessa shares how she went from supporting women to serving more and more men. We explore the pain, secrecy, and shame men experience after discovering their spouse’s cheating. Vanessa also explores why men and women have affairs and the most common question men have when they find out they’ve been betrayed.

While women often want to tell the world when they’ve been cheated on, that is not the typical response for men. What is so crucial for a man who has been betrayed is to forgive himself.

The core message is to be willing to have difficult conversations before betrayal to avoid needing them after.

Topics and Questions

  • 2:12: How different is the experience of recovering from betrayal when you are the betrayed party?
  • 7:33 – Vanessa’s first male client
  • 12:23 – The six most common reasons women cheat
  • 16:26 – What does a man feel from betrayal?
  • 19:34 – Differences between how a man feels and how he thinks society says he should feel.
  • 24:19 – Is this journey of self-forgiveness different if the wife wants the relationship to continue or not?
  • 27:47 – Are there any best practices for a man when he discovers his partner is cheating?
  • 34:44 – What is the best way for people to find out about everything you are up to?
  • 37:02 – The response to Vanessa’s first appearance

“If you don’t make time for your relationship. You will be forced to make time for your loneliness.”

Vanessa Cardenas

Vanessa Cardenas —

Talk to Vanessa —

Recommended resources
Man’s Search for Meaning —

RMF 149 – Men in Emotionally Abusive Relationships

RMF 226 – The Abuse of Men by Women

Book a call with Andy →

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2 comments on “Real Men Feel: Ep. 303, Did Your Partner Betray You? | Recovering From Betrayal Part 2

  1. Truly my honor to be a featured guest on Real Men Feel with you, Andy… an amazing space that you have created for men (and women who want to understand men better) to be real, authentic, and comfortable in their own skin. You remain true to your vision and mission, exposing your own vulnerability and growth from your own past experiences, making this episode even more valuable. When we share our stories, we have the potential of being someone else’s survival guide (loosely quoted Brene Brown).

    Thank you Andy for giving me the space to share mine.

    For all that you do and all that you are, I thank you!

  2. Steve Catapano Jun 13, 2023

    This was another great conversation. I really appreciate the discussion about the importance of communicating versus clamming up. Vanessa delivered some great suggestions for men as the betrayed. I agree that men need to pause and take a breath before rushing into any reactive response. The male ego has been bruised and clarity has been lost. Who am I? What’s my worth? Getting support to reduce the turmoil and gain a better perspective has to take place from the beginning. Then through meaningful conversation, a direction can be determined. Thank you both for helping men understand that they should have feelings and be comfortable expressing themselves.