Thinking I Want to Die Episode 262, July 15, 2022
WARNING: This episode discusses suicidal thoughts and attempts.
If you are in a crisis, do not listen to this. Please call or text 988 to be connected to trained counselors that are part of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline network. https://988lifeline.org
If you are outside of the US, please search for suicide prevention in your country.
https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/11181469
You matter! Please choose life.
In recent years I’ve become more careful in how I refer to my own suicidal thoughts and actions. Instead of saying I wanted to die, I say I believed I wanted to die, or I thought I wanted to die. Because what I really wanted was to feel good. To not feel broken, hopeless, and helpless.
I wanted my misery to end, not my life, but at times I saw them both as the same thing. I have to choose the light, joy, and life multiple times a day. I used to think that was horrible, but maybe it’s just life.
There are many times that life isn’t easy, but that never means it isn’t worth living.
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These “just Andy” sessions are amazing. These are the things I would want to ask you about but probably never would — especially pertaining to healing work, the Guide path, and making progress but still needing to release old patterns… You’ve gone to some dark places and can now shine tremendous light on the human condition and our personal paths.
Thank you, Leon. Knowing that anyone gets a benefit from my “rantings” really helps me to continue and know that there is value in what I’m experiencing and sharing.
Be well – Andy