Real Men Feel: Ep. 245, Women Can Stop Being Abusive

Women Can Stop Being Abusive Episode 245, June 29, 2021

Entrepreneur, coach, author, and advocate for a violence-free world, Andrea J. Lee, shares how she stopped perpetuating abusive cycles. We talk about the power of forgiveness, the importance of authentic communication, and examine the causes of abuse.

“In order to forgive myself, I had to actually trust myself that I had changed.” ~ Andrea Lee

It might come as a shocker, but women abusing men is a real problem. Culturally, it’s not talked about frequently for fear of diminishing feminism, but any human can abuse another regardless of gender or sexual orientation. We fully explore this dynamic today, as guest Andrea Lee courageously acknowledges her violent past and details her healing journey. Her restorative path began with understanding the roots of abuse, which originated in childhood. Self-forgiveness played a huge role in reconciling her marriage, and Andrea delivers some beautiful wisdom on self-love. 

Andrea’s story is a perfect example of how emotional repression and unhealthy expression can be ruinous. Andy and Andrea both thoroughly understand the raw power of emotions, and offer guidance for harnessing their potential. Anger can be a destructive energy, but with the proper approach, can be a catalyst for inspired action. We also dive into the importance of authentic communication with our loved ones, as unspoken truths can lead to explosive situations. All in all, Andrea’s message is a reminder that no matter our past, we can take action in the name of love and heal old wounds.

Highlights and Topics:

• (04:02) What are the signs and symptoms of an abused man?
• (08:20) Is emotional abuse contagious?
• (12:45) Why a lack of safety can result in aggressive, violent behavior.
• (20:30) Can we become addicted to frustration and self-abuse?
• (21:45) How did Andrea come to terms with her toxic behavior?
• (26:54) What role does emotional repression play in abusive relationships?
• (27:45) What can we do to prevent abuse?
• (33:01) Do we unconsciously attempt to score small victories over our partners?
• (39:00) How focusing on our emotions can be a catalyst for empowered action.
• (41:58) Why self-forgiveness and self-trust must come before we expect it from others.

Grab the Real Men Feel Guide to Friendship for a list of places you can meet more male friends and get on the Real Men Feel weekly newsletter.

Listen here:

“The intensity of emotion is actually the power, like a motor that drives the new neurons to fire.” ~ Andrea Lee

Connect with Andrea Lee:

Website | AndreaJLee.com – for her books, writing, coaching info!
Andrea’s original article in the Washington Post: I verbally abused my husband. Here’s how I stopped.
Instagram | @andrea_jennifer_lee

Need to talk about getting out of your own way? Visit TheAndyGrant.com/talk.

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Photo by Chris Yang on Unsplash