The Abuse of Men By Women Episode 226, February 16, 2021
Counselor, coach, and author, Ann Silvers, joins us to shine some light on the rarely discussed relationships which involve women abusing men. Domestic violence and emotional abuse don’t care about gender.
“Abuse isn’t always just one direction with a man being mean and a woman being victimized.” ~ Ann Silvers
One of the main drivers behind Real Men Feel is a willingness and need to have uncomfortable conversations. The discussions that most men aren’t having, but that all men can benefit from. Today’s show is one of those. We are talking about abusive relationships, but not the type you probably hear about often.
Ann Silvers shares how she slowly began to see the problem of women abusing men. She’s found 72 reasons behind such abuse. We are conditioned not to see women as abusive. The idea that men are liars while women are believable. That men are bad, and women are good, it colors too much of our expectations. It is strictly either/or thinking. The reality is that everything is on a continuum.
Ann explores how men get lured into narcissistic relationships and why they would stay in an abusive relationship. She speaks to the difference between a target and a victim when it comes to men’s abuse and the need to look for patterns without getting bogged down in why. She also talks about the push back she receives for daring to speak of these issues.
- (1:01) How did you first get interested in the abuse of men in relationships?
- (5:25) How might women abuse men?
- (7:01) Is any type of abuse against men most common?
- (7:41) Is any kind more harmful?
- (8:16) I’ve long heard that all abusers have been abused, is prior abuse why women would abuse men?
- (10:12) Does narcissism show up in emotional abuse too?
- (15:05) Does any reason make it more likely than others that someone will be abusive?
- (17:03) How does financial abuse show up?
- (18:59) What about legal abuse?
- (20:42) Are the laws and courts catching up with the fact abuse can go in both directions?
- (22:55) What lures a man into such a relationship?
- (26:49) Why do men stay in abusive relationships?
- (27:41) Do abusers realize they are abusive?
- (29:33) Why aren’t more people talking about the abuse of men?
- (31:50) What do you suggest for a man who realizes he’s in an abusive relationship?
- (36:47) Anything to share with women who see they are an abuser?
- (41:58) Can couples recover from this and have the relationship survive?
- (44:16) What can friends, family, society as a whole do regarding the abuse of men by women?
- (48:17) What’s the best way for people to learn more about what you are up to?
“The entitlement we have going on right now in society is that women are entitled to treat men badly. You deserve it, so I get to do this.” ~ Ann Silvers
Grab the Real Men Feel Guide to Friendship for a list of places you can meet more male friends and get on the Real Men Feel weekly newsletter.
Need to talk about getting out of your own way? Visit TheAndyGrant.com/talk.
Show your support for Real Men Feel by shopping at realmenfeel.org/swag.
Watch this episode on YouTube.
Listen on Apple Podcasts.
Enjoy Real Men Feel on Spotify
Listen to the podcast on Google Podcast.
Let us know what you thought here in the comments, or shoot an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.