Real Men Feel: Ep. 216, Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse

December 6, 2020

Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse, Episode 216, December 6, 2020

Author, psychologist, and former police officer, Kelli Palfy, discusses male sexual abuse and the reasons men rarely disclose such things, and how to rid themselves of blame and guilt. Society has given men a false definition of courage that doesn’t serve us.

“Boys are trained to be quiet. We don’t talk about what we don’t hear others talk about.” ~ Dr. Kelli Palfy

In addition to hosting Real Men Feel, I’m a transformation coach and healer. I got into this work because of my many experiences with depression and suicidal ideation. I believe that silence kills men. Too many men hide their pain and that can lead to horrible lives of loneliness, addiction, and worse.

Today, is a special live episode as part of the Indie Pods United Summit – so if this your first show – welcome. If this is your 216 show, like it is for me, I welcome you too.

Dr. Kelli Palfy began her professional career working in adult and youth corrections. Here she noticed a disproportionate number of males in the system. After becoming an RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) officer, she took an interest in investigating sex crimes and went on to specialize in sex crimes committed against children internationally. Here, as she combed through video evidence, she witnessed first-hand the grooming tactics commonly used by sophisticated pedophiles. After retiring from the RCMP, Dr. Palfy obtained her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Alberta. She conducted her doctoral research on the reasons why males don’t commonly disclose sexual abuse. She is now a trained trauma therapist and public speaker on the topic of male abuse. 

Male sexual abuse occurs far more commonly than previously suspected, yet too few victims ever seek support. Countless remain silent. They cope through avoidance, isolation, substance abuse, hyper-masculinity, etc. I share some of my childhood sexual abuse experiences too.

Highlights Include:

  • What first got you involved or concerned with male sexual abuse?
  • Why do men not share their abuse?
  • In what ways to you see men cope with their abuse?
  • What are some of the barriers boys and men face as they contemplate their recovery?
  • what do you wish more men knew re male sexual abuse?

“Real Men Feel is all about having the difficult conversations, conversations that most men aren’t having, but all men can benefit from.”

Grab the Real Men Feel Guide to Friendship for a list of places you can meet more male friends and get on the Real Men Feel weekly newsletter.

Learn more at

Check out Dr. Kelli’s book, Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse.

Need to talk about getting out of your own way? Visit


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Real Men Feel ep 216, Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse

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