Confessions of a Sensitive Man Episode 212, November 17, 2020
Author and Highly Sensitive Person, William Allen, discusses the challenges and gifts of sensitive men. Sensitive men are often told they aren’t masculine enough because they feel, sense, and experience a fuller range of emotions.
“Our culture defines what it means to be a man or what it means to be a woman. Being human should be our first and foremost drive. Emotions are there for a reason. We should not be trying to suppress it.” ~ William Allen
Highly Sensitive Persons make up 20% of the population and are comprised equally of men and women. HSPs tend to be more nurturing, emotional, and intuitive; traits traditionally associated with women more than men. You are no less a man due to these personality characteristics.
Andy still cringes at being called sensitive. For men, “sensitive” is often said as a putdown. It implies “too” sensitive and is considered a weakness, but Bill Allen thinks it can be our strength. Men are human first, but not being allowed to express all of our emotions takes away some of our humanity.
Sensitive men pick up information and nuance that most people do not see, and our brains put things together, which can create an emotional reaction. Bill’s goal is to normalize this term of highly sensitive for men. Emotional sensitivity is not a bad thing.
- (1:30) What is a highly sensitive man?
- (4:04) Is a highly sensitive man different from a highly sensitive person?
- (5:29) Why does traditional masculinity discount emotions?
- (7:40) When did you realize you were a sensitive man?
- (9:08) Reactions to being called sensitive.
- (11:00) As a boy, what did being sensitive make you think about yourself?
- (18:34) Are there positives aspects to being a sensitive man?
- (22:06) Dealing with projections of people’s fears of feeling their emotions.
- (24:18) Can society value male sensitivity?
- (29:20) Male sensitivity in the presidential election.
- (35:53) How can a sensitive man, who doesn’t appreciate it, become more comfortable with themselves?
- (40:48) Did anything in particular prompt you to write your book, Confessions of a Sensitive Man, An Unconventional Defense of Sensitive Men?
“Not allowing men to express some of these characteristics takes away some of our humanness.” ~ William Allen
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Check out Bill’s book, Confessions of a Sensitive Man: An Unconventional Defense of Sensitive Men. As well as the work of Dr. Elaine Aron, The Highly Sensitive Person.
Need to talk about getting out of your own way? Visit TheAndyGrant.com/talk.
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