The Courage to Be Yourself Episode 195, July 7, 2020
Martin Stark is a Courage Champion and an Inclusion Practitioner who through personal experience has learned the importance of believing in yourself and unapologetically being who you are. He is also out to make boxing the most inclusive sport in the world.
“Diversity is about celebrating our uniqueness, while inclusion brings everything together. Have the courage to be you, but also invite others to join you.” ~ Martin Stark
There’s an old expression that claims to come from a Chinese blessing or curse that goes “May you live interesting times.” Which these certainly are. And it takes courage to press on.
Martin Stark is one of the most resilient men I’ve ever met. In this episode, Martin shares how a performance review got him to turn on his courageousness, develop the PACE system (Passion, Action, Confidence, Excellence) and create his own courage bank; memories of his most courageous times. We discuss maintaining a vacation mindset and the difference between excellence and perfectionism.
Martin opens up about his many surgeries and health challenges, including Addison’s Disease, and how they’ve shaped him. He shares that often the toughest part is dealing with survivor’s guilt and explains why he stresses inclusion over diversity. Martin also lets us in on his goal of creating the World Gay Boxing Championships.
Topics and Questions Include:
- (0:35) May you live in interesting times.
- (2:39) What does a courage champion mean to you?
- (4:02) How did that feel, having courageousness come up in a performance review?
- (5:44) What sort of practices did you do to turn courageousness on?
- (8:08) The difference between excellence and perfectionism.
- (10:10) Did you learn about courage and excellence from your health challenges?
- (20:45) Dealing with survivor’s guilt.
- (21:44) What is an inclusion practitioner?
- (27:10) Slavery and racism in Australia.
- (33:07) How did you discover boxing?
- (39:20) What to do to add more courageousness in day to day life?
- (40:42) Failure is great.
- (44:39) Can you share a habit, practice, program, or book that has helped you?
- (48:39) Is there anything you wish you had learned at a younger age?
“Courage is probably the only thing that has made the difference as to decide do I enjoy this life or do I just be a victim. And I refuse to be a victim.” ~ Martin Stark
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Dear Andy,
I have listened to some of your podcasts, they are just so wonderful. Thank you. I would love your insight and help.
Recently, I met a young 20 year old man on the train. It struck me how deep and insightful he was. He shared with me that his mother’s partner had abused him. His mum did not ‘ believe in his story and told him to “get out”. The thing which is most scary is he is using alcohol for his comfort. I really do feel for this young man, at some point he reached out to me but then let go and switched off. One phrase that sticks in my mind is that he said “I do not believe in love”. Any advice for what I can do to assist.
Hi Iris,
Thanks for listening.
Keep being willing to talk to him. Let him know that at least one person believes “his story.”
Your willingness to listen is evidence that he has more than alcohol as a comfort.
Be well,
Andy